I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Monday, February 8, 2010

Bueller ... Bueller ...

It's great that there's a generation of us who will always geek out over a teacher performing roll call and continually calling the name of an absentee student. Imagine being the kid named Bueller and being between the age of 30 and 40. Chances are someone's dropped a "Bueller … Bueller …" on you probably somewhere close to a thousand times in your life. Many of us have commercial gimmicks about our name that drive us crazy, and this is probably the worst of the bunch. For instance , I got Zach the Legomaniac so much in the late 80s that if I see my name spelled improperly, I start to feel like a Lego, but still, no one has it as bad as a Bueller.

I've known one Bueller in my life and it was at a time when I wasn't wise enough to realize I wasn't the first person to reference the movie to him. The ignorance of not realizing that no matter how clever you are, there are always a million people even more clever is a tough thing to accept, but once you do, you can start acting upon it. You can play lame jokes off of the fact that a million people have already done the "Bueller" thing to your friend. With a little more wisdom and even wittier comebacks from your friend, you can take it a step further, and then, a step further as such until one day he finally says, "wow, I've never heard that one before!" just like he did the first time you dropped the "Bueller … Bueller …" on him only without the sarcasm.

What I'd like to know, is what happens when people named Bueller commit a violent act on someone in response to the joke because they're so fed up with hearing it. Is that a good legal strategy? Do you claim the "Bueller" defense?

"Sorry you're honor, I plead guilty to taking the two by four to the guy's head rendering him unconscious, but he did say nothing but Bueller … Bueller … to me for about 15 minutes straight!"

That has to work in a court of law, no? Kind of like a socially acceptable plea of insanity?

It's too bad that whatever wisdom you obtain in life, is really only learned through suffering, rendering it impossible to become wise at an early age. After awhile, there comes a time when you meet someone new named Bueller and you're simply too old for the joke, or the joke off of the joke, or the joke off of the joke off of the joke. People can always call you immature for making it, or laughing when you here someone say something like, "Wow, that's pretty deep!" as a group is studying some kind of depth chart and the only thing keeping you from saying, "That's what she said" is the fact that you've already said it 10 times that day. These simplicities are the downside of wisdom. Fortunately for myself, I haven't had to suffer too much in life, keeping me unwise and playfully immature, and that's one to grow one.

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