I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Wednesday, December 23, 2009


12. Steve McNair

Obviously, his career doesn't come close to Les and K-Mal, but Air McNair's death is one of the best celebrity deaths of 2009 because of the time it happened. It's one of those, "I know where I was when Steve McNair died!" moments because it was ... LIKE ... the 4th of July. The best part of it was for me was, that I thought it was Vince Young for LIKE 2 hours. It would have been so unsurprising of an ending for Vince Young, and look what's happened. His rejuvenation as QB for the Tennessee Titans (and of course the emergence of Chris Johnson as best running back in the NFL) has finally made the Tennessee Titans fun to watch. It's taken __________ years for them to be exciting. Fill in the blank with how many years they've existed, or the amount of years it's been since Warren Moon and Curtis Duncan were no longer on the Houston Oilers, but not since they were in the Super Bowl because they were boring then.

11. Billy Mays

I only count him so high because he was a douchebag, and there's something fun about that. My "The Day Billy Mays Died" tale goes like this. I was shopping at Publix when I got a text from my friend Mary saying Billy Mays died. Me being unfamiliar with cable television's pimps of consumer products and Mary not knowing anything about one of baseball's greatest outfielders led me to believe that she meant Willie Mays died and I was kind of bummed. This was right after Michael Jackson, so it was one of those celebrity deaths I just couldn't find any humor in. Willie Mays was fucking dead, and I was left with a world of all my era's great home run hitters being juiced. Dag. Fortunately for me, and all of us, it was Billy Mays who died, and I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, but he was famous for smashing watermelons at comedy shows.

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