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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Wizard of Oz: Munchkins vs. Monkeys

In 1939, "munchkins" was a politically correct term, but something tells me if we were to call "little people" "munchkins" today, that wouldn't go over too well. I almost want to go with a "Top 5 Little People of All-Time" but seeing I can't watch "Freaks", I'm not qualified to give you that list.

Let's go Fox Thursday Night Special and give the public what it wants: Who would win in a fight between the munchkins and monkeys during on-set battles during the filming of "Wizard of Oz?"

It's common knowledge that the munchkins we're getting quite crunk during the filming of the movie, to the point a legend grew of a suicide on the set (this is not true, snopes it). Still, with all those munchkins around, and all the monkeys who protected the Wicked Witch of the West (gotta remember that one for Scattegories FAMOUS VILLAINS), there must have been trouble. Even I may tangle with a feces throwing monkey if I was properly liquored up, so imagine being a munchkin and knowing those monkeys are really just a tail and vocabulary away from reaching your apex in the evolutionary change. Gosh, that wasn't nice. So, you're small, probably getting paid nearly nothing to be an extra in this flick, and all these monkeys are around living the high life. OK, they're probably trapped in cages the whole time, after all, this is way before PETA, and if a movie is getting away with referring to Little People as "Munchkins", animal rights probably isn't happening.

**** (There's really only one real monkey, the rest are humans dressed as monkeys, but let's pretend it's all monkeys for the sake of our argument).

So sure, maybe there wasn't to much wrasslin', but I bet there were numerous times Judy Garland had to remind the munchkins to "stop rattling the monkey cages!" There also must have been at least one time a monkey got loose, then freed the other monkeys and it was on. My best guess is that the monkeys would blind the munchkins with feces throwings, then attack. They'd bite too, in fact, I don't see how the munchkins could win this thing. Thank god for the cages. I'm saying, if there were 20 monkeys vs. 20 munchkins, the monkeys would come out on top, with about 6 monkeys left standing. It'd be pretty close.

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