I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Rick's Rock'n Roll American Cafe

Before I break down Casablanca, arguably thee most overrated movie of all time, I have to mention another Bogartism.

Next time I have a girlfriend, and she asks me, "Where were you last night?" I'm going to say, "it was so long ago I can’t remember.” That's the ultimate out. Especially if you're out drinking, and you really can't remember. How can anyone argue with that? On with the cafe.

Rick’s American CafĂ© looks pretty sweet, and sure, I’d love to hear Sam jam on that piano, but this chick singing hymns and what not has gots to go. Maybe it’s not a hymn, but whatever it is, that old singing, despite the great voice you need to do it, is so annoying. I bet she sings for the woodland creatures in Disney movies. Maybe in these old timey movies, when women sing these types of songs, they should just bring out some animated skunks, chipmunks, birds and deer and have them sing it. Either that, or they just let Sam keep doing his thing.

Aside from Bogart, and that sketchy guy who gets shot in the beginning, Sam makes this movie, but doesn't have a dominant roll ... "Wanna cookie?" It's still has that black people are inferior type feel, but it's 1942, so what'chya what'chya what'chya want?

What would make Casablanca work for me the most, would be for them to remake it, have Heath Ledger post humously (if that's a word) play Rick, some random hot chick to play the main chick, and have Morgan Freeman play Sam, but play it in a more honest way where he says things like, "Deez honky's iz crazy!" under his breath every time someone asks him to play a song, and keep making snide comments the whole movie. That would work.

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