I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Thursday, February 19, 2009

John McLaughlin and the Lost Weekend

I heard this movie was quite riveting (which never means anything to me), and really groundbreaking (which means a lot to me) so I watched it. As someone who loves a wee nip, and a wee nap, I felt like I either would a) really relate to this guy, or b) see how much of an alcoholic I'm not. I like seeing people that are wicked hard core, like shots of whiskey in the morning guys. They always make me feel so much better.

Issue #1 - How hard is it to go 10 days without alcohol?

I personally rarely make it more than 5. It's quite easy to go Sunday though Thursday, but what the else are you going to do once Friday rolls around? People who don't drink on Friday's must have the most stress free lives or something wicked important to do Saturday morning. So yeah, the fact that this guy is having an impossible time at 10 days, I can respect that.

Correct Answer: It's stupid to go 10 days without alcohol.

Issue #2 - Where should you hide the hooch?

What really struck me as impressive was dude hiding a bottle of rye on a string outside his window. That's light years ahead of me. What was even more impressive is his brother found it there. This guy hid booze all over the place. I haven't hid alcohol since I lived on Walden St in the early 1990s, and that's because if my parents found it, I may have not been able to go to beach weekend.

Correct Answer: You shouldn't put yourselves in positions where you have to hide alcohol, or tie it to a string and hang it out the window.

RANDOM POINT: It took me about 10 minutes to start empathizing with this dude.

Issue #3 - What's better, the hot girl drinking at the bar as you break down, or the really nice girl (who's also attractive, but has that Disney feel) who wants to help you quit drinking?

This is a tough one, because most normal people, if they have one, aren't really looking for the other. Let me break into the movie's vernacular here. Unfortunately for both ladies, the rye is all he "gives a hang about." In 2009 vernacular, that same line would read, "all he gives 2 shits about" and it would be followed with someone doing something disgusting for an uncomfortable laugh on the Internet

Correct Answer: You really don't want to be with a woman you can't drink with, and at the same time, with a good woman, you shouldn't need to drink as much.

Issue #4 - How much is 10 dollars worth in 1945?

In 1933, it could buy you a ticket to see King Kong, so that's pretty sweet. In 1945, let's follow how much dude drinks on it. Before that though, he stole his brother's rent money to get the 10 dollars, which isn't too good. The only person, in the history of life who should be able to steal their brothers, or even roommate's rent money, is George Thorogood. Anyone else is a bad person. After all, if he's your roommate, you should know what you're getting into. In fact, if I was ever roommates with George Thorogood, I would almost be disappointed if he didn't steal my rent money, and blow it on booze. Anyhoo ... here's what the guy buys with $10.

Two fifths of rye ... (today, I'd say that'd be around $30)
a shot ...
another shot ...
another shot ...
damn, another shot ...
ANOTHER shot ...
whammy, another shot ...

OK, looks like he's slowing down ...


That's like 40 bucks right there, but he's not finished because ...

Issue #5 - What's the most ultimate taunting you can unleash upon someone?

... because he ends up at a high class place, drinks a lot more but only has a couple bucks left in his wallet. This leads to him stealing a purse, and when he's caught, here's the punishment:

The piano player sings a song mocking him, and everyone in the bar joins in. How great would it be, if every time a friend did something regretfully embarrassing, there was a group of people there to immediately sing a song about it. Songs would include ...


Correct answers: A) I don't think there's any consistency to how much money is worth in old movies, and B) If taunting like this ever happened, it would be incredible. So it's a new #1, moving the retort, "Your Face" to #2, and "Your Mama" to #3.

Issue #6 - What's the Best Way to Find the Love of Your Life?

Some say car accidents ... maybe growing up in the same neighborhood your whole life ... a good concert ... high school sweetie ... pottery class ... hay ride ... long time friend ... drunk at a bar. These are all good, but I believe I found the best way. A flashback. The ultimate way to slow down tempo in an otherwise decent movie, is to have a flashback of how a couple met. It happened in Casablanca, and it's happens again here. How devastating.

Correct answer: Be yourself ... whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Issue #7 - What's the most brutal truth this movie presents about alcoholism?

Correct answer: Is that this dude is only 33, and that's one year younger than me. That kills me. If this guy lead a life, that was far less drinky then mine, I would've rather felt more like an alki, than to watch all this and find out he's younger than me.

Issue #8 - 40's Titties or Modern Day Tatters

Girls of this time wear really pointed bra's which makes their titties look wicked sharp. I love this look, I wish it would come back. These titties look like they can poke your eye out. Of course, they're all natural back then, so that helps too.

Correct Answer: All titties are good titties.

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