I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Sunday, January 20, 2008

The Problem with Mania (In this case, that of the Favre variety)

You know why Green Bay lost to the New York football Giants? Because no one in the entire organization was wise enough to tell Brett Favre "when."

Obviously, I'm no quarterback rating aficionado (god I love spellcheck). It doesn't take Jeff Pythagorean (again) to watch a QB play football and throw rocks all over the field and realize he's not going to be able to get it done in overtime. I'm a fan. I realized Favre's foibles, pointed them out during the worst of times for the Gints, and I was right. Ya know what though? Because I realized this, being a more than casual football fan, I'm sure the Green Bay organization knew this too. So the real question is, why didn't anyone say or do anything?

Brett Favremania. It killed us as a collective whole of football fans this year. The only thing keeping this story from being the full blown hiv, was the fact that the best team ever was over there playing in the AFC. Yes, it took the best team EVER, to only hear about Brett Favre 70% of the time (I know we heard about the Pats more than 30% of the time, but work with me here).

What a story it was though, as a Seabuck fan, I had no problems with Green Bay going to the Super Bowl. Despite the fact I had to watch him throw snowballs at his teammates while the Seahags were dreaming of a nice warm plane ride on Paul Allen's private jet, I still didn't mind him winning. He's the ultimate lead role in a PG movie.

The problem with all of this though, is no matter how much he tried not to, he had to see some headlines, and the earmuffs couldn't restrict sound during all of the media's "Brett Favre is back!" campaign. He started remembering he was once a great quarterback, that as long as he had to deal with Mike Holmgren on the sideline after stupid throws, he could keep his composure long enough to look like one of the best QBs in history, aside from the fact that the cheese eatin' Holmgren isn't there anymore.

See, Brett has been the coach of that team ever since Holmgren left. That's why Michael Vick beat them in the playoffs, and that's why I promise Green Bay will never win a Super Bowl with him still at the helm. I don't see that as a put down. Brett has transcended the game. Who the hell is Mike McCarthy? Who is ______________ (every Green Bay coach (oh wait SHERMAN!) since Holmgren left)? None of these guys are bigger than Favre, and Mike McCarthy is one HELL of a football coach. I'd take him in Seattle easy, once Holmgren announces his temporary retirement in a few days :(. He's not Brett Favre though.

Green Bay had no choice but to lose that game. The Giants didn't wanna win perse, but they atleast were the recipients of getting to see what we haven't seen all year, yet were very accustomed to, Brett Favre remembering he was Brett Favre. He had no composure, was throwing balls with his "I'm Brett Favre Bitch!" attitude, and he sucked. He FUCKING sucked, but Joseph Buck never said a word. No one on the Green Bay sideline ever said a word. Nobody said a GOD DAMN thing, and you know why?

Brett Favre is a conglomerate of McDonalds, Nike, Tiger Woods, and Coca-Cola. He's bigger than Santa Claus. He doesn't allow for a coach, as good as Mike McCarthy, to RUN the ball in overtime, because HE HAS to put the ball in the hands of McNikeWoods-Cola. Imagine if he ran it, and the running game fell short, and he had to deal with the, "Why didn't you put the ball in the hands of McNikeWoods-Cola?" questions? He'd have no answer. He did the right thing. He had no decision to make, even though Brett looked like a poor man's Shaun King in the second half of that football game (if you can think of a greater insult for QB, I'd like to hear it, well unless your comeback involves the word "Gradkowski").

He WAS TERRIBLE. As football fans, we all noticed this and watched. McCarthy couldn't say anything. Donald Driver couldn't saying. Chad Clifton is probably still reeling from future HOFer's Warren Sapp's devastating hit to talk. Who can question Brett Favre? What, you think you can question Brett Favre?

So now, that the game is freshly over, it's going to be interesting to see how the media handles this. Who they wag the finger at?

Some fuckass from Tampa really doesn't deserve to say, "He should retire!" or "He should comeback!", but when his label is so out of proportion with what is logical when calling football plays, how can he help a football team win? He's become Dan Marino, except relevant and without Isotoner gloves (And I swear to god, if he ever hits a Seahawk with a snowball, or beats a 3rd down rush from Patrick Kerney with a queer little pass, he deserves whatever he gets).

Brett Favre is everything that's right about competitive sports. We all know this. The irritating truth is that, well, it's over. He's funk music after 9/11. Football was once a better sport. He's the reminder that there was a time that once you made a simple tackle that stopped someone after a 4 yard gain, you weren't the greatest person alive no matter how coreographed of a dance you did. He's the last representation of our father's game (except Morten Andersen and any other player that appears on Super Tecmo Bowl).

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