Stoner With a Child

I love how every guy in this movie is "cool" whereas every woman in this movie is kind of a bitch.  It's the exact opposite of Thelma & Louise.  The out-of-work stoned illegal immigrant lands a professional woman that's way out of his league but should he give up his friends and lifestyle in order to keep her?  This is the philosophical question we're asked in this movie, should he, when in all actuality if this was … you know … real life, the real question should be, why should she even bother with this one?

I probably shouldn't look at this too realistically because I'm pretty sure the real course of action here would have been an abortion, especially if the mom from "Growing Pains" is encouraging her to do so.  Always listen to Maggie Seaver a.k.a. Maggie Malone.  She will never steer you wrong.  I do agree that I did spend way too much of my youth watching "Growing Pains."  The fact that Mike turned into the leader of the Christian Calvary, Carol had a huge battle with Anorexia and Boner led such a depressing life that he committed suicide turns my innocent adolescent memories of the show into this dark cloud of reality.  There really are "Growing Pains" in life … sorry, had to. 

The movie would've been better if she had one.  Yes, it's probably safer to err on the side of the fetushuggers, but for a film that was pretty sexist, it's strange the movie lacked balls at its most critical time.   It still could've been Knocked Up but she just comes to a different decision and there probably would've been more scenes with Seth Rogan hanging out with his friends and talking to his dad.  I'm sure the writers could've figured out a way to keep the bromance going between Rogan and Rudd too, which would be crucial. 

Most of the movie could still work.  It'd really just be a matter of when she decides on the abortion.  The best bet would be at the doctor's office when they have the big fight which includes some of the best lines of the movie and after he says, "it's a girl, by some pink shit" she decides right then and there that it's not meant to be.  Though the Vegas trip is very uncomfortable for me as a viewer, they still could've gone and she snuffs it while they're gone.  While on the getaway, he realizes he's not ready to be a dad, Paul Rudd agrees with him, they laugh and he comes back and it's win win win.  (The third win is for the viewer).  The only downside is that we wouldn't see that dorky dude pop his head into the delivery room during the crowning. 

From there, the two each go their separate ways, she goes on to have a very successful career, and he keeps having fun with his friends.  For some reason Hollywood never gives us the alternate happy ending.  People always seem to need to get together, have babies and live happily ever after no matter how not meant for each other they are.  We never get the part of the story that a month or so later they realize it's not going to work.  From Lea and Han to the nerd that gets the prettiest girl in school, we get the same story every time, just so there's a chance that a couple on one of their first dates can get swept up in the romanticism and maybe end the evening with a blissful kiss.  Unfortunately, the "abortion followed by logical break-up" ending never really happens.