I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Kill Bill Vol. 1 or Kill Bill Vol. 3

For any revenge movie to be grand, you need many great villains that you want to see killed.  QT did this well, and even after the second volume, he wisely left the scariest villain (Vivica Fox's daughter) unscathed for a possible Volume 3.  If it ever happens, this could rival Uma's fight with Lucy Liu as the greatest cat fight ever.  REAW! Aside from that, I'm not sure why Kill Bill Vol. 3 would need to exist.  It'd be just a bunch of women, presumably hot, having sword fights with each other with very little chance of scissoring.  I'm sure QT would make it all work somehow though.  Before I continue, why not just …


Honorable Mentions:

Ghostbusters 3

There are actually talks that this is going to happen, but they're at a stand still because Bill Murray hasn't signed on, and obviously you need him, whereas you may not need the actor who played the black Ghostbuster.  There should be a new black Ghostbuster and to go list within a list here:

The Top 5 Best Black Ghostbuster Potentials:

5.  The Rock

He's Samoan?  Like that argument would've worked at a white water fountain in 1950's America. 

4.  David Chapelle

I'm not sure if he's even alive anymore, let alone funny, but if he wants to make a big comeback and not have to do a stand up special wearing a glittery suit, this would be a good opportunity for him.

3.  Chris Rock

Speaking of glittery suits, even though Chris Rock has possibly never been funny in a movie, as a former SNL alum, he may do a decent job.

2.  Eddie Murphy

Speaking of former SNL alums, even though Eddie Murphy hasn’t been funny since the 80s, reuniting him with old Saturday Night Live actors like Murray and Akroyd could be great. 

1.  Samuel L. Jackson

Think of the possibilities …



"… AND YOU KNOW MY NAME IS THE LORD, WHEN I LAY MY VENGENACE UPON THEE" … right before he busts out his proton pack and snares a ghost. 

I wonder if I'll ever get tired of Samuel L. Jackson jokes.  Anyways, more honorable mentions …

Passion of the Christ 2

In this one, Jesus resurrects himself and he's played by Mel Gibson.  You talk about revenge.  A Jesus revenge film in which Mel Gibson goes on a borderline psychotic killing spree against those who killed him (you know, whomever may be responsible for Jesus' death) would be an all-timer.  This could top Uma's revenge. 

Terminator 5

I can't believe I haven't seen the 4th one still.  These aren't the greatest movies, but the story has lasted for over 20 years now and it's a good one.  These films probably can't get any worse, right? 

Okay, here's the Top 5, I've stalled long enough.

5.  The Dark Knight Rises

This one is actually happening in the summer of 2012 I believe.  Can't wait.  Since Christopher Nolan took this series over, they've been the only superhero movies worth watching. 

4.  Kill Bill 3

Compared to the rest of my list, this is probably the next most likely to happen after the new Batman flick.  To be successful in this one, The Bride, or the one who wants to kill her is going to have to have one helluva posse because right now this movie is short on characters. 

3.  Rounders 2

2.  Cannonball Run 3

If Adam Sandler can remake The Longest Yard, I have no clue why there can't be a third installment to this one while Burt Reynolds is still alive.  You could even get Jackie Chan, Terry Bradshaw, find some new token hot chicks driving a Lamborghini.  I don't see how this could fail.  Throw Vince Vaughn in there maybe, whoever the most current James Bond is of the time.  I guess I should start writing the script because no one else seems to be doing it. 

1.  Star Wars 7

You heard it here first.  I don't know how or when it will come into fruition, but there's just too much money to be made on this for it not to happen.  Maybe the Emperor secretly trained a new apprentice before he and Vader died.  Maybe Boba Fett crawls out of the sarlacc and starts some shit with Luke and Han.  Maybe Lucas will sell the rights to someone so he can build his spaceship before the world ends in 2012, and they can make Part 7 good.  Hell, give it to Christopher Nolan, or better yet, Peter Jackson.  


  1. Passion of the Christ 2...Now that is funny!

  2. That was posted by me...Didn't log out of kara's google acct....