I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

O Predator, How Have You Withstood the Test of Time?

First off, it's absolutely amazing that two actors from Predator have gone on to the title of Governor in this here country of auws. If Apollo Creed, the Count of Monte Fisto himself ever becomes Governor to say, Idaho or something, that will make 3. If you said, "Zach, what is the only movie ever that had two future Governors in it" and told me the answer was Predator I would laugh and laugh. Incredible huh? Jessie Ventura even offers the line “Buncha slacked jawed faggots around here. This stuff will make you a goddamn sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me” and still takes Minnesota. That must have not made Prince too happy. Side challenge, if anyone can find another movie with two actors turned Governors in it, you may win a prize. Love that word "may".

Aside from this unbelievable coincidence, something else I love about this movie is it's one of those elimination type movies. You take a bunch of actors, throw them into a plot with something that can kill them, like a Jason or a Freddy, and you watch which act of bad karma they commit and how it correlates into how quickly they get diced by the thing hunting them. One by one, they all go down. It's one of Hollywood's best formulas. I'm not sure when this began exactly, my guess would be the first Friday the 13th movie, but whenever it did, that director has a special place for himself on Hollywood's Walk of Fame fo' sho'.

Lastly, the best part of this movie probably occurs once the credits start rolling. You've just witnessed a fine action film with some fun one-liners. You've laughed and were probably on the edge of your seat at times, but one thing you surely didn't do, is get emotionally invested in any of the characters, except for maybe the Predator itself. Instead of just rolling the credits as any film of this type would, the director does one of those things where he shows pictures of each individual character when there names come up. Naturally, the picture is of a happier time and that character is smiling. In epic movies this is kind of nice because we've been through a long dramatic story, but here, well, there's really nothing funnier. Am I supposed to cry because there's a flashback to the Indian-stereotype guy who was killed on the bridge was at one time laughing? The guy that constantly shaved himself once heard a good joke? Apollo Creed himself just beat Rocky and got a rewarding blow j which made him chuckle? The director was probably serious then too, which makes it all the more hysterical.

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