I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Gadgets of the Goonie 80s

Somehow 1986 was a year of gadgets in film. I previously discussed the Pee Wee Herman breakfast maker. Back to the Future was all about Doc Brown and his gadgets. The Goonies takes it to another level. Of course, I was at an age where gadgets in film would be more entertaining in 1986, so maybe that's why I selected these movies as part of this here project. Really makes ya think (…)

First off, the famous Goonie house has a gadget to open the front gate. The parent's friends must love that. Every time they walked up to that house they must have said to themselves, no wonder this family is being foreclosed, if Mr. Goonie spent his time working rather than making obscure gadgets to open the front gate, maybe he could have afforded a couple more mortgage payments!

Naturally, after this gadget, the king of gadgets is the Asian kid. Ah, the time when filmmakers could use the stereotype of Asians being good with electronics and not get blasted. At least they didn't make Data turn a television into a watch, or did they? Can't remember, but they did name him "Data". I do remember that their house keeper was Mexican which is classic. It's even more classic that's she the one at the beach at the end of the movie finding the jewels to save the family from foreclosure, but why the hell is the housekeeper with you on your hunt for your lost children? She can't even speak English!

Some times I have to go off subject because aside from my possible clever realization about the gadgets of 1986 in film, I don't have much else to say about that. I'd rather talk about Corey Feldman and his out of nowhere freaking out about his penny wishes at the bottom of the well. When he says, "THIS ONE! THIS ONE RIGHT HERE! THIS WAS MY WISH! AND IT DIDN'T COME TRUE! I'M TAKING IT BACK! I'M TAKING THEM ALL BACK!" it could be the most unnecessary drama scene in the history of film. Someone give that kid a chill pill. He does have the dubious distinction of being paired up with some of the lamest friends of the 80s, including Sean Astin, who for some reason, in every movie he's in, has to be the inspirational character. RUDY! RUDY! RUDY!

He's always making his speeches in The Goonies to go with his queer relationship with One-Eyed Willy. We've all seen his act in Rudy which surprise surpise isn't part of my project. He's probably most inspiring as Samweis Gange, but we'll get to that later probably. How fun would it be, if every time you found yourself in a down part of life, and you could just hire Sean Astin to come over and give you a motivational speech to turn your life around? No, not fun, kind of annoying? OK, how fun would it be, after he failed in his motivational speech, that you could throw a plate at him and kick him out of your house? Then, when he refused to leave because he was sure he could motivate you, you called the police and they hauled him away in handcuffs? Better?

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