I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Monday, February 25, 2008

Things I Learned Watching the Oscars

1. Despite my two favorite movies of the past year being nominated for nearly every award, and winning most of which they were nominated for, AND having arguably the best host you could have not named Colbert, Ferrell, Chappelle, and maybe even Conan; the Oscars still really sucked. I'm pretty sure they're not about movies at all, and simply about which actress is wearing which designer and how bad Gary Busey can scare actresses by kissing them on the neck. I should've known this going into it though, so that's my bad. I just thought ...

2. I feel like I watched a 4 hour commercial for the movie Enchanted. What's the deal with this movie, and why wouldn't it go away? Musicals are the retarded monkeys of the Film World. They should have their own category, and that should be that. Keep'em away from the Best Picture Nominations though, because seriously, though I haven't seen it, American Gangster probably could've used the nomination. At one point I saw this fact, Transformers received more nominations than it. That can't be good for anybody.

3. The Gingers have a new hero in Tilda Swinton. Jesus, she looked like she hadn't seen daylight in a fortnight. A good next career move for her may be revealing what kind of umbrella she takes out in the afternoons with her because I'm sure it offers ample protection from just about anything that could get near her skin. Normally, I'm against tanning beds, but crimminy, they couldn't have hurt here.

4. America's first family, The Simpsons, had a great visual episode which was a great break from the Enchanted commercials. I can't say it was funny, but Homer seeing his life flash before his eyes, and Prof. Frink's Memory Regenerator was awesome. Coulda used a doobie though..

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