I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Monday, January 7, 2008

Tales of the Unemployed (Grocery Shopping)

It's a bit surreal walking into Publix at 3:00 on a Monday afternoon, well after the holidays, and pretty much everyone is back to work, back in the normal world. My world has been anything but normal lately, especially because this is the first day I've been healthy since pretty much the new year began.

What makes the shopping experience so different, is that I was the only man in the entire store. It was either elderly women, or housewives, whom unfortunately were neither desperate, nor cougartastic. Most of them were on the downside of their looks too, or maybe it just happened to be the Publix I was at, because I am getting used to the one near downtown where these women are very hot and spicy.

After this experience, I'm surprised we don't hear more about "Grocery Store Melees" that occur in the late afternoon. Though all these nice ladies were pleasant today, what if there were a sale, what if there was only a couple pounds of Boar's Head Lite Turkey left? In fact, I did stay away from the deli, but I could just imagine how catty that line gets.

If I were Publix, I'd open a beer and wine bar to the side of the store, because, well, I would've been the only guy in there today, and the maybe the non-cougars could've rediscovered their cougar roots. Maybe there was a cougar that I just missed. Sure I would've spent money I do, but don't have, but shopping with a glass of wine buzz would've been most pleasant.

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