I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Republican Power Rankings (11/29/07)

I actually watched most of that debate last night, despite the fact that I'm most likely voting democratic and even if I do vote republican, I have no say in the candidate they choose, and it certainly won't be the most moderate of the bunch.

Okay, first off these are the top tier, that I'd actually consider voting for over Hillary (but obviously not many of the other demi-crats)

1. John McCain

I love this guy. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This man is true. I'm a little worried about what's going on with his neck though, but I think many Americans have a distaste for the Iraq War because it's been ineffective and managed so poorly. Americans love war when we win, especially when we win easily. It's a gigantic sport to us (except for the hippies who want peace). If we're just going to say, dang it, let's just stay in Iraq forever so we can check Iran, I'd say this is the best leader to do it. He put Romney in his place last night during the waterboarding issue, and he put Ron Paul in his place, as much as I love Ron Paul. Poor Mitt Romney, he was the only one who had to answer that "torture" question which is McCain's bread and butter. That's like challenging me on some Simpsons trivia or something. Mitt Romney is ginormous douchebag, but I'll get to him later. Much later.

2. RUDY! RUDY! RUDY! RUDY!

Rudy seems a little sleazy, and honestly, there are many more candidates that I'd like more on this side (Huckabee and Paul for instance). At the same time, of the candidates who have a realistic chance at winning, he's probably the best. He's kind of sincere. Compared to Mitt Romney, he sounds like a 4-Time Truth Telling Competition Winner. Sure he relies on 9/11 too much (although he didn't last night thank god) ... but seriously, outside of New York, NOBODY cared about this guy UNTIL 9/11 happened, so of course he uses it all the time. Cheap? Of course. Insensitive? Maybe. Political? You betcha. If I was running for let's say, Sultan of South Tampa, and people only knew me because I had the most beads on Gasparilla, I would most certainly remind people of that fact any chance I got.

3. HUCKABEE

This guy ... I think I like as a person. The only thing that terrifies me of him is the fact that he wants to teach Creationism alongside Evolution. That's obviously terrifying, but not as terrifying as people who are evil and untrustworthy, so he's moving up a bit. He actually impressed me with his reasoning that Space Exploration is the root of science and technology. I've never really thought of it like that before. I've always seen space exploration as something cool, but a huge waste of tax payer money because trust me, THEY WILL GET US BEFORE WE GET THEM. It takes so long to discover things up there, and there are so many problems down here. Waste. Huckabee put a bit of perspective on it for me last night though, so good for him. If it came down to him and Hillary ... I'd probably go with Hillary though.

4. Ron Paul

It's too bad he's evolved into Ross Perot. Obviously, he's the most moderate of the bunch, and the truest republican of the bunch (limited government), but even though I believe him, I don't trust him. I don't think he'd intentionally mislead people or anything bad like that, I just think he'd fail outright. Great ideas are one thing, but anyone can have great ideas. You need to have the ability to work with a bunch of bureaucratic douchebags in a festering swamp of corruption, and there's no way this guy can do that. No way. It's sad because he's the only Republican of the bunch that actually has different views than our current joyous president.

The party is so messed up really. You have all these candidates not mentioning Bush because the name is only going to hurt them, which is the smart move, but at the same time, they all have the same exact stances as Bush, except for immigration. It's a joke. What's going to happen in November when they have to appeal to moderates? They're screwed. That's the problem with these primaries. There's no foresight whatsoever. It's all about appealing to your party, rather than worry about the growing number of us who hate both democrats and republicans and don't wanna choose our next president because they do everything the party wants them to do. In essence, this is failing America more than anything.

What's most alarming about this party is, one of these geniuses opened the debate up with this thought

"The Republicans have many candidates for president, while the Democrats only have one." There's an old football metaphor that goes something like this, "If you have many quarterbacks, that means you don't have any quarterbacks", and the metaphor couldn't be more true. (look at Notre Dame football this year for instance). Now, I'm not sure Americans (especially red-staters) are quick witted enough to understand this concept, but hey, red-staters are football fans, and some may catch it.

I should try to start rapping this up

5. Fred Thompson.

This guy is terrible. I truly hope he isn't the Republicans "savior" because this guy, aside from being a terrible speaker, and someone who is generally insincere and untrustworthy, he's an evil bastard. He's the only one of the bunch that used an attack ad in his debate ad last night, which was so out of place. It made some moments uncomfortable to the point where I actually felt bad for not only Huckabee, but Mitt Romney as well. Okay, let's get to Romney.

6. _____________________
This guy is terrible. He's basically the Republican version of John Kerry. Aside both being flip-floppers from Massachusetts, I don't think any of his views are something he's really thinking. It sounds like someone his whispering in his ear about "What Republicans Think About this Question" and he just answers the question accordingly. Maybe Rove has already gotten to him, I don't know. Please Please Please Republican party, don't make this guy your nominee.

See, I have a bad feeling about this election that it's going to be this guy, and Hillary, you know why? They're the two worst from each party. GO TWO PARTY SYSTEM!!!! WHOOOOOO!!!!!

(by the way, any other republicans that were on the stage last night should quit right now, seriously, you're wasting time)

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