There's a moment in The Graduate when Mr. Roper questions Dustin Hoffman, asking him if he's "one of those agitators". Now, though trying to bang a mother-daughter combo may be a little creepy, Dustin Hoffman isn't really a good agitator. An agitator is someone who starts up trouble for no apparent reason. "Some people just like to watch the world burn." Okay, that's probably more psychotic than agitation. Agitators are not bullies either. They're the type of people who poke you on your side to frustrate you. Some of them get really annoying, and some well, you almost want to smack like they're Urkel or something, but Urkel is definitely not an agitator, or maybe he is, I never really watched whatever show he was on.
Perhaps the greatest example of an agitator is Sasha Baron Cohen. Dressing up as different idiotic characters to make fun of real people who are nearly as ridiculous is fun to watch from time to time, I'll admit it, but once you see it once, it loses steam and you realize he's just kind of a dick.
An agitator arranges a meeting with some hardcore armpit hair having femmies and tells one, "Listen pussycat, smile a bit." This is obviously hysterical, but necessary? Is this helping the kids or hurting 'em? You're not helping the kids
, your hurting 'em! Going into a rodeo to expose "real Americans" as racist rednecks? Isn't this something we already knew? Did we really need this douchebag to expose these people for a couple of cheap laughs? Probably. Rome
The biggest problem with this guy is he's really successful. I'm sure he's got more money than he knows what to do with and he landed a beautiful wife. Good for him. Does his career have a second act? Probably not. We've probably already heard that last of Sasha Baron Cohen doing anything relevant, though for his particular brand of art, the best thing he can do is fall back into obscurity so he can start fooling dumb people again.
Is he the greatest agitator of all-time? Let's find out.
The Top 10 Best Agitators of All-Time (and I'm getting out of film a little on this one).
10. Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz
I'm not sure if it's her parents fault or hers, but why isn't she keeping that dog on a leash? The old lady has a legitimate case against this poor pooch.
9. Johnny Boy from Mean Streets
For those who don't know, this is an early DeNiro role that he does quite well at. He's a punk, which is probably a little different than an agitator, but he blows up a mailbox, and shoots a gun off of a building top for no apparent reason.
7. Jon Bender
"Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place."
6. Carl from Dazed and Confused
How much of a crime is it that this film deprived us of seeing this punk get smacked with a FUH-Q paddle?
5. Randall from Clerks
Kevin Smith loves a good agitator. Randall's apex of agitation is when he spits on that guy who keeps reading from the National Enquirer. He also tips over a casket. He's pretty much the textbook definition of an agitator, which means my remaining 4 better be good.
4. Buggin Out from Do the Right Thing
"I'm a touble-maker! I'm making trouble!" Oh did he make trouble. The two worst things that happened to him, were that he couldn't dictate what pictures a restaurateur put on his wall, and someone stepped on his brand new Air Jordans. The former ended up getting one of his friends killed.
3. Claude Lemieux – Hockey Player
Mario Lemieux he was not. Over the 90s, and the early Aughts, no athlete agitated quite like this guy. In the sport of hockey, it's almost a position on the ice. Nearly every team tries to have one of these. Lately, the leagues biggest one is Sean Avery.
2. Woody Woodpecker
All this bird did was fly around and start trouble. The last episode should've been the bird messing around with the wrong redneck and Jebediah blowing up the bird like he hit it with a Randy Johnson fastball.
1. Sasha Baron Cohen
Yup. He's #1.