I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Andrew Dice Trump

Aside from the whole moral ramification of giving any publicity to douchebaggery ... I have ...

Top 5 Excerpts from Donald Trump's Speech in Vegas (that didn't stay in Vegas)

(These are actual excerpts from his speech.  Dan Akroyd says, "Honest to God!")

Number 5.   While discussing Iraq he said:

"We build a school, they blow up the school.  Then we build another school and they blow it up again.  Meanwhile, we can't get a fucking school in Brooklyn, let alone anyone to teach those motherfuckers on Capitol Hill ... OH!"

Number 4.  Donald Trump's Oil Policy

(Again, an actual quote)

"We have nobody in Washington that says, "You're not going to raise the price of our gasoline you towel-headed camel ridin' motherfucker ...OH!  Joe Camel blue ... he needed the money ..."

3.  The Silly Man's Take on Trading With China

"Listen you slanty-eyed motherfuckers, we're going to tax you 25% ... OH! I don't care if you piss on my rug or not!"

2.  Trump's Take On One of His Biggest Competitors for the Republican Nomination for President (Not to mention an even greater competitor in the reality TV market).

Hickory dickory dock
Sarah Palin was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I dropped my goo
then dumped the bitch on the next block ... OH!

1.  Obviously, Dice Trump's biggest competitor right now is the actual President himself, you know, because a guy who inherited more money than he's worth is a worthy adversary ... here's his message (verbatim from his Vegas speech):

Roses are red, violets are blue
I fucked your mama's non-American ass,
and she had you ... OH!

Andrew Dice Trump everyone!


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