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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Best Rock Songs of the 70s

The 70s certainly rocked a lot harder than the 60s. The 1970s is when rock reached perfection. It started having much less roll to it and there were power chords aplenty. It also started becoming "punk" and "progressive" which may have robbed it of it's purity, but ensured it was here to stay forever branching out into it's own sub-genres.

30. Black Betty – Ram Jam

Although it'd be fun to include this song on my "Most Ignorant Songs Ever" list, I really don't see the problem here. White guy likes a black girl that he calls "Black Betty". Am I missing something here? Hopefully R. Kelly will make a song called "White Wendy" in retaliation.

29. American Woman – The Guess Who

Gotta love the Guess Who not liking American women. At least Ram Jam apparently likes them if their name happens to be Betty and they're black.

28. Black Dog – Led Zeppelin

Now if Ram Jam didn't like Betty, and instead called her "Black Dog", then you could say it was a little racist.

27. Rock and Roll All Nite – Kiss

Ever noticed how polarizing this song is? Some people really hate this song. Apparently, they don't wanna rock'n roll all nite, and party every day. Do you think Kiss knows how to spell "Night?"

26. Smoke on the Water – Deep Purple

You can tell a classic rock song when it has a classic riff, though this song is a tad overrated.

25. After Midnight – Eric Clapton

This song has a little more roll than the others, but that doesn't take away from its rock.

24. Paranoid – Black Sabbath

Where Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin turned it up a notch in the late 60s, you could tell hippies were no more once the clock struck 1970 and Black Sabbath released their first album. In fact, the Top 5 Things That Killed Hippies:

5. Drugs

When drug use went from experimenting with LSD to getting "fucked up" on cocaine and heroin, it was the end of summers of love.

4. The Beatles Breaking Up
3. The Altamont Free Concert

For those who don't know, this was the Rolling Stones concert in December of 1969 in which the Hells Angels were hired as security for the festival. Bad idea jeans right there.

2. Black Sabbath
1. The actual calendar changed from 1969 to 1970.

23. One Way Out – The Allman Brothers

Whatever it lacks in rocking, it makes up for in jamming. This is one of the most fun songs to jam to ever.

22. Blitzkrieg Bop – The Ramones

Aye Oh … Let's go!
Aye Oh … Let's go!

21. Immigrant Song – Led Zeppelin

This song rocks yes, but by now Zeppelin has already established the power riff with crappy lyrics, and this is just another rendition.

20. Ramble Tramble – Creedence Clearwater Revival

If you've never heard this one and love rock, please do yourself a favor and purchase Cosmo's Factory.

19. Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen

What was hard for me to do with this list, was judge those songs that start slow and speed up in the end. That's why I ranked this one lower than it probably deserves and I didn't rank "Stairway to Heaven" at all.

18. Highway to Hell – AC/DC

You have to love how things like Hell became more celebrated in the 70s. What would Rock be without Hell and the Devil?

17. Aqualung – Jethro Tull

I bet Jethro Tull wishes they had the line "Eyeing little girls with bad intent" back. If only NBC could have a special "To Catch a Predator: 70s Rockers" edition. That'd be great.

16. The Song Remains the Same – Led Zeppelin

There's nothing like starting a weekend by leaving work on Friday, and blaring this song on your radio as loud as possible and saying, "oh yeah, this rocks!"

15. Can't You Hear Me Knocking – The Rolling Stones

A perfect rock song, even though Keith Richards was doing his Carlos Santana impersonation at the end.

14. Sweet Emotion – Aerosmith

Things you learn through conversation with your elders:

There was an old timey test they used to do to test pregnancies. They'd get a sample of a woman's urine and inject it into a rabbit. If the rabbit died, the woman was pregnant. Therefore Steven Tyler's lyric, "You can't catch me cuz the rabbit done died" is a reference to this. It took me something like 33 years to learn this, or whatever amount of time between the first time I heard this song, then my mom discussed this at a family dinner a couple years ago.

13. Won't Get Fooled Again – The Who

The Who may not be the coolest rock band ever, but they had their moments.

12. Another Brick In the Wall – Pink Floyd

WE DON'T NEED NO EDUCATION!!!

11. Anarchy in the UK – The Sex Pistols

Sometimes rock is about being surly, and no one's surlier than the Sex Pistols.

10. Barracuda – Heart

It's kind of crazy that this song gets Heart this high, but that opening riff is pretty powerful.

9. Iron Man – Black Sabbath

Just one of the most famous guitar riffs ever … GOSH!

8. Walk This Way – Aerosmith

Another very famous riff.

7. Stone Cold Crazy – Queen

This song may lack the blockbuster guitar riffage of others this high, but this is almost speed metal. In the 70s!

6. La Grange – ZZ Top

What would a rock list be without Billy Gibbons?

5. Baba O'Riley – The Who

Maybe people hate the Who because this song really should've been called "Teenage Wasteland." It's called "Baba O'Riley" for one reason, and that's because Daultry and Townsend were pretentious English windbags. Well, pretentious English windbags that ROCKED!

4. Running With the Devil – Van Halen

After the birth of Black Sabbath, the birth of Van Halen was the next important chain in the history of rock.

3. Frankenstein – Edgar Winter Group

Everyone knows rock achieved perfection in 1973.

2. War Pigs – Black Sabbath

GENERALS GATHERED IN THEIR MASSES!
JUST LIKE WITCHES AT BLACK MASSES!

1. Freebird – Lynyrd Skynyrd

Nothing rocks like the guitar solo in this song. Nothing. There's a reason why this song is requested at every single concert by a smart alecy fan. Part of it is said fan thinks they're funny, the other part is, it would rock.

1 comment:

  1. i love how ozzy rhymes "masses" with "masses"...maybe that's where ad rock picked that y'all thing up...

    re stone cold crazy: metallica covered this when they still had cliff burton busting ass for them. it IS speed metal.

    and, personally, i just wanna rock and roll all night and part of every day. i got other stuff ta do, man.

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