I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Results from the Colorado Regional of the 2010 Hopoff

The Mojo

The First Sip ... was okay.

If I knew I was going to have this beer I'd feel _______________

Angi: Happy
Zach: Mildly Excited

Notes:
I will definitely want more, which makes it probable for the next round

This being the first beer of the challenge, we decided on our ranking system which is:

Epiphanic - You have an epiphany and angels sing when you drink this beer, which is strange because neither of us believe in angels, yet I'm sure both of us will rank beers this highly. I've definitely had beers that made angels sing ... or maybe those were sirens. I did end up in a VietCong Prison camp the next morning playing Russian Roulette, so yeah, guess I gotta go with sirens rather than angels.

Wicked - just wicked awesome. Any time you have a chance to classify something as wicked, you have to do it. I imagine the Northeastern beers will be pretty wicked, or at least I hope they are. It doesn't look like Magic Hat or Long Trail will make this tourney due to lack of availability; Harpoon doesn't make a good IPA (I don't think); and Gritty McDuff's wonderful beer is a mere pale ale, and not an IPA, but I will do what I can to get in the tournament.

Dandy - What's great about ranking a beer as dandy (the equivalent of good), is that Forrest Gump's expression of ... fine and dandy like sour candy is true, because sour candy is good, but it's not wicked, and definitely not epiphanic.

Proficient - We're using this instead of average.

Undecomposed - Try this one out for yourself. Instead of saying something isn't good, say it's "undecomposed" and you'll smile. Say a friend is really into something, and they won't leave you alone about it, so you try it, and you're doing everything and anything to not say it's bad. Try saying, "Well, it's undecomposed" and that should at least confuse your friend for a moment so you can get out of the situation. And hey, at least it's not decomposed.

Unsavory - Just a great word.

Unspeakable - Never speak of the beer again.

Now, to use this grading scale ... The Mojo is a "Dandy" beer. The "Dandy Warhols" is a terrible band name.

400 Pound Monkey

The First Sip ... was better than the following ones.

If I knew I was going to have this beer I'd feel _______________

Angi: Disappointed
Zach: Content

Notes:
400 Pound Monkey is def. a better name and a better label than the Mojo, but that's exactly the point of wine 101. Never judge a book by it's cover.

They're are promoting Hinduism though, so it's got that going for it.

New Category:
How good is the beer, when Angi no longer likes it and I have to drink the rest:
It's still okay, but it has gotten maltier.

Angi: Decomposed
Zach: Proficient

Rocky Mountain IPA

Spent my last year Rocky Mountain IPA
- Joe Walsh

The First Sip ... offensive

If I knew I was going to have this beer I'd feel _______________

Angi: Content
Zach: I'd pretend I like it to not offend who ever bought it

Notes:
Hoppiness is determined by IBUs which are International Bitterness Units which is fucking hilarious because I'm not making this up.

Angi: Proficient
Zach: Unsavory

Lucky U IPA

The First Sip ... both of us agree that it's not good. This could be our first unspeakable beer.

If I knew I was going to have this beer I'd feel _______________

Angi: I'm not putting that in my mouth again.
Zach: That's what she said.

How good is the beer, when Angi no longer likes it and I have to drink the rest:

It doesn't matter because I won't drink it either

We're both saying this one is unspeakable, so fairly warned be thee, says I ... yar.

India Pale Ale (Avery Brewing Company)

The First Sip ... is pretty darn good. Very refreshing.

If I knew I was going to have this beer I'd feel _______________

Angi: Pleased
Zach: Happy

We're both saying this one is "Dandy"

Dale's Pale Ale

The First Sip ... it def. tastes like an IPA. So it's got that going for it.

If I knew I was going to have this beer I'd feel ______________

Angi: More Than Pleased
Zach: Satisfied

Notes:
My problem with this beer is let's say its 1927, and we're having an all-white home run derby, and a black person enters with one white parent so he looks white, but it's an all-honky derby, so he's not full honky. I'd have a tougher time judging his talents because it's an all-white competition. That's the problem with a beer that's labeled a Pale Ale, but indeed could be an IPA.

Both go "Dandy"

Titan IPA

The First Sip ... is definitely the best of this region.

If I knew I was going to have this beer I'd feel ______________

Angi: Excited
Zach: Pretty Darn Happy

We're both going "Wicked" on this one.

The Next Rounders

1. Titan IPA
2. Mojo
3. Avery India Pale Ale
4. Dale's Pale Ale
5. Rocky Mountain IPA

The Cuts

1. 400 Pound Monkey

Worst Competition Competitor

1. Lucky U IPA






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