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Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Top 5 Things Kansas Has Going For It

If it wasn't bad enough that Villanova (and the Big East in general) decided to this this March Madness out, Kansas crippled not just both of my brackets, but my entire pool. Ugh. Sometimes I forget how much Kansas sucks, so ... anyways ...

Top 5 Things Kansas Has Going For It If You Don’t Include The Wizard of Oz

5. The First State of the Enlightened Era to Challenge Darwin’s Teachings

I know this isn’t a good thing, but really, there aren’t 5 good things I can think of about Kansas. So, I guess it’s “good” that well before there was ever talk about teaching “Creationism” in public schools because Darwinism is “talk of the devil”, Kansas was ahead of the curve. Basically, when it comes to challenging things like science and math, or anything with actual evidence, Kansas is the best at not believing the truth

4. __________________________

3. The Kansas City Royals

Sure they suck, but they have one a World Series are two I believe. They had George Brett, Dan Quisenberry, Willie Wilson, and of course Buddy Biancalada. That’s not too bad.

2. Corn

Yup, it’s true, if you ever drive through the state of Kansas (and the first couple hours of Colorado if you’ve just come through Kansas) the highways have nothing but corn to look at it. Suddenly the Florida swamp isn’t so bad.

1. Kansas City Chiefs

It’s pretty hard to win at Arrowhead. Think of it. The Royals suck, every time someone with a hint of intelligence talks to you, they bring up either the fact that you don’t believe in evolution, or make a “Wizard of Oz” reference. Then, Sunday comes, and with all of your might, you get to wear red and cheer on a football team that gets to compete with cities around the country that have other things going for them besides football so … oh wait, the Chiefs have only won 1 game this year (at this time). Oh well ... and, I just wikipedia'd, and yes, it's true, its Kansas City, Missouri. D'oh. Just goes to show you how much Kansas sucks.

Remember everyone, never bet on the Jayhawks.

2 comments:

  1. You forgot BBQ and made a few grammatical errors...

    ReplyDelete
  2. turns out the royals play in kansas city, missouri, too.
    ..and, having lived in kansas, i can attest to the suckage.

    ReplyDelete