I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The City of Philadelphia vs. Zach Taylor

I'm sure I've done a "Top 5 Worst Cities I've Ever Been To" list in my past, so I'll refrain here, especially since I'm trying to concentrate on movies, but let's say Philadelphia ranks really close to the top.

The reasons are numerous whether you wanna cite the fact that they think the Liberty Bell is a tourist attraction, they hate Santa Claus, they overrate a steak and cheese sandwich (believe me Philly, they're good, but there are other things to eat and they're what's making you so fat!), they once cheered when they thought Michael Irvin was paralyzed, they've thrown batteries at numerous athletes, they had to have a jail put up inside their football stadium to cut down on the crimes being committed DURING the football games, and basically, the city of "brotherly love's" attitude is so bad, it's makes me feel like I really need to take a crap, but can't get it out. They're a city of constant constipation. That's how I feel about Philadelphia. If I ever go back to that city, you know I fucked up real bad.

What's worse than all of this, isn't merely the fact that Rocky, a story of a bunch of losers who have nothing going good in their lives and their only hope of joy comes at the possibility of Rocky getting a chance to fight Apollo Creed for the title, something that would never happen, BEAT Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver for best picture; it's the fact that Philadelphia loved it so much, they erected a statue in his honor. Hey, at least something got erected in that town (I'll be here all week!)

Despite all the history the City of Philadelphia has in this country, and believe me, when you move from the northeast where this country was basically founded (well, the literate side), and move to Florida, you miss the history ... a little. Instead of celebrating that, they create a statue of someone who never existed and worship it. Isn't this how religions start?

1 comment:

  1. Philly blows 'cause it's got a HUGE inferiority complex due to NYC being so close.