I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Hallmarks! The Top 10 Best Hall High Class of 1993 Year Book Quotes

This is for Facebook and the U.S. Americans whom may read this. Now that I'm adding friends from the glory days of West Hartford, Connecticut whom I've completely lost touch with just to find out everyone's decided to marry and procreate (I know, it's what people do), and I really decided not to speak with anyone because well, if it weren't for random computer programmers we would've all completely lost touch anyway. That being said, it's wicked awesome to know what Marc Dube is thinking about having for dinner (even though he went to Conard). It's cool that Delfo Tringali can post a picture from Mrs. Reuter's class. I just accepted Mike Trinks as a friend and I'm curious to see if he'll start looking like Wade Boggs, the way his father does. Trinksy, if you read this my mom says hello. James Roth is running a wine place apparently. Awesome, I love a good Cab. I'd probably be much better friends with James today than I ever was back then, which I guess is the joy of the Facebook experience.

All that being said, there's no way one way to embrace the past, aside from doing what I enjoy doing most, and that's breaking down a good Top 10 list. I've got ... And the Name of this Band is the Talking Heads on in the background and it's like I went back to college and pulled thee ol' Michael J. Fox cramming for tests speedball, and even though it's late right now, I'm going to go through the yearbook and knock this out. I already know Alex Bornstein and Pete Smith are going to rank high because there quotes have become part of my life's pop culture to this very day. I'm also going to rank myself #10 because I can. I'm also not going to get caught up in any Hall High nostalgia while doing this. It's best for all of us. I mean, I just saw Billie Gills' mug, and that guy once struck me out 4 times in one game. You don't forget things like that.

10. "This is the end. It hurts to set you free, but you'll never follow me."

Jim Morrison via Myself

Lately I've had a tough time coping with the fact that I'm way too over-dramatic. It's good to know I've been this way for a long time though. Basically, that was my way of saying, "I'm moving to Florida, and no one else is, so screw you guys, I'm going to eat oranges." Also of note, Kate Lemega and Dana Harrell went the Doors quoting route. Nice job ladies.

Number 9. Number 9. “What ever you do, take care of your shoes”

Phish via Matt Connell

Liz Mathieu also quoted “In summing up the moral seems a little bit obscure", and she was a lot prettier than Matt Connell, so maybe I should have given her the points for quoting Phish. However, I've probably uttered this lyric more so than any other quote on this list over the past couple decades, so Connell gets the square. Funny I always thought it was Alex Bornstein that quoted Phish, but it was Connell all along. So contrary to what I said above, Alex won't make the list. Ruh Roh.

8. "Your Face"

Elliott Potter via Himself

Okay, that's not true. That wasn't his quote. However, Elliott Potter was in our class. I remember in 7th grade he was a grade above me. He and Monighetti used to spit on me and Schur at the bus stop. Serves him right for graduating late.

The Real #8. "I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars"

Fred Allen via Beth Fink

As a writer, I always love to read something that can simply take away all the sense of what it is I try to do away in one line. It's the "poetry is nothing more than an indication of good health" theory again. Awesome.

7. “I apologize for the inconvenience"

Quickie Mart cashiers and many others via Wayne Crow

I don't know where to begin with this one. Honestly, I don't really remember Wayne Crow. To me, he seems like that guy who turned on DeNiro's crew in the movie Heat, but I'm guessing his acting career wasn't that stellar. Nevertheless, what a quote. I feel like Apu Nahasapeemapetalan is in my living room, and if you looked up my spelling on Apu's name, props, because that means you still care about the most important family in the history of U.S. American folklore, The Simpsons.

6. A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center

Homer via Pete Smith

Nostalgia here sorry, but this is a true story. Many years ago, probably the summer after all of the Class of 93ers were first back from our first year of college, I shared a unique experience wit' Smitty that I haven't forgotten to this day. Aside from the Summer of '94 being most remembered for watching the OJ chase, Sammy's Gang spent countless hours at the Montresor household pulling tubes and throwing decks of cards into ceiling fans whilst listening to the Dead, Phish, DMB, Ill Communication and Let Love Rule, and maybe even some Pharcyde. On one of those occasions, I got the munchies and raided Gene and Bev's kitchen. Unsatisfied with my options, I found some kind of TV Dinner that had fried chicken ... and kids, the rest of this story is why you don't smoke marijuana. I started eating the fried chicken frozen, straight out of the container and it was Pete Smith who made fun of me. I then told him it was actually good and he could either laugh at me, or help me knock it down. So, he sat down at the cornered kitchen table and took a bite and looked at me and said, "Wow, this is actually pretty good."

You don't forget things like that. Oh, that was the same summer I also once ate 5 McDonalds Cherry Pies. Ahh, the mid 90s.

5. “I’m so excited, I just can’t hide it. I’m about to lose control and I think I like it”

The Pointer Sisters via David Ratzan

If there was only one person in our entire class that could pull this quote off, it'd be Ratzan.

4. “Four years of Hall High. Four years of George Bush. A lifetime of intense psychotherapy”

Glen Daugherty a.k.a. "G" a.k.a. "GR"

This one is great for several reasons, but it can't be #1 because perhaps the best reason is under the additional comments section, where Hall High's most achieved put all their friend's initials and accomplishments, G put "Thanks, but no thanks." Something tells me he's not on Facebook, or maybe on the grid in general. He was always a great person to play football with though, part of the East Side crew with Schwani and Keena.

What's also so awesome about this, and The Daily Deuce is no place for politickin, is that if he disliked Sr. Bush so much, dude must have gone bat shit crazy these past 8 years. It's kind of like the quote that keeps on giving. Who knows, 7 to 15 years from now, I could read his quote again, and Jebediah Bush could be in office and the quote can still ring true!

I just wish I could be there on Jeb Bush's election victory, turn to a completely hopeless Glen and say, "That's the way the ball bounces G!"

3. “If at first you don’t succeed, you’re about average.”

Somebody via Erik Segal

I'm going to be honest with you, I never in a million years back in 1993 would've thought Segal would come up with/borrow such a great quote.

2. “What’s the point of being cool if you can’t wear a Sombrero?”

Hobbes via Sarah Wilson

I can't really put her #1 because she was arguably my first crush and that'd be like preferential treatment'n shit. Is there any wonder why I had the crush with a great quote like that? Came up nails.

1. “Now spin it hard. It’s got to go all the way around.”

Bob Barker via Austin Lynch.

I'm not sure why I like this so much but I do. It's 1993 and all of Hall High's genius minds are sifting though pop culture galore, Walt Whitman poems, Winnie The Pooh quotes, and they're dawning sarcastic masks or furrowing their eye brows trying to come up with something that will be so relevant 20 years from now all the while showing off their own personality so we know this quote is exactly who that person was.

Austin realized that this was all complete bullshit (as did many others), but he didn't know Bob Barker would later on get in a fight with Happy Gilmore. He didn't know that some circles in this wonderful country have taken his name and use it as code for smoking doobies. He took probably the most meaningless catch phrase of America's culture and put it to it's forefront. Does he have a hidden meaning, or something personal that only he knows with a couple other people? Possibly, but I'm thinking no. I'm thinking he thought about this for about 5 seconds and came up with gold.

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