I swear i'll be writing more in 2014

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


(Cue Monster Truck Advertisement Voice Guy)


So, way back in 2008, I made a fearless prediction that Phish would reunite in 2009. It's was quite simple. Trey allegedly went to rehab, and now that he's not strung out on pills and heroin he realized "You Enjoy Myself" is the best song he ever wrote and all of a sudden has no problem playing it night in night out. Combine that with the fact that it's been 5 years since they broke up, it's the perfect situation for them.

Being a recovering Phish head is easy. You realize the times you were way too involved (having a case of 120 shitty quality bootleg tapes is a start), and the things they did that sucked, that you would never admit (things like the lyrics, and the latter year rave jams that don't do a damn thing). You also realize the songs that are really really good, "Punch You in the Eye"; "Maze"; "The Sloth"; "Sample in a Jar"; "Mike's Song"; "Poor Heart"; "Reba"; "Free" to name a few; and the songs you don't like, "Slave to the Traffic Light" or nearly everything from Hoist and beyond.

You also never really want to talk about Phish because it brings back so many memories of how big of a dork you were in the 1990s. Every time I meet someone new, and find out they like Phish (which believe it or not still happens), we almost instantly change the subject because what's there to talk about really? You said it all over 10 years ago, and nothing has changed except you've been turned onto so much new music because you finally got your head out of Trey's queer little world and would rather talk about that.

Also, I smoke probably 90% less pot now, and that's probably not even enough. It's probably like 95. I no longer own a 2 foot bong. I no longer have long hippie hair, nor can I grow longer hippie hair. I don't have tye-dyes and my last pair of Birkenstocks finally gave in 2004. If I were still in my late teenage years, or maybe even early 20s, I would've based my entire summer off catching a few of these upcoming shows. This time around, I saw they weren't coming within 10 hours of my location, so I quickly wrote it off. Maybe they'll do another PHISH IN PHLORIDA tour in the fall, but I won't hold my breath.

And I shouldn't. The sad truth to all of this is they're now one of the foaggy rock bands. I remember I saw the Who in 2000 or so, and it was just so boring. They're old now. Once that edge is gone, it's over. Nobody listens to techno. All that being said, it is kind of exciting though, because it brings back the 1990s, the carefree innocence of the pre 9/11 days.

So, in order to celebrate this grandiose reunion, I've been watching the Simpsons again, talking to people I knew in the 90s and psyching myself up. It seems like Mike Johnson is going to make an appearance somehow. My last memory of Phish is tripping off of pot brownies in the Citrus Mall movie theatre watching Trey forget how to play "The Curtain With" in what was "The last song they'll ever play!" That sucked. Hopefully the free mp3s I start downloading over the weekend can change that a bit.

1 comment:

  1. It's pretty common to grow up and turn on the shit you once enjoyed, regardless of whether or not it deserves it. In the case of Phish, no it doesn't deserve your condescension. Some of us where had gone through college and the drug phase before Phish really got BIG stuck around and listened to Phish while the new kids started enjoying them post-1994. I was never a rabid follower and never had 120 shitty cassettes. I have since downloaded as much or more quality SBD mp3s and bought several of the Live Phish series on CD. The band was good and the songwriting has always been stellar. When people criticize Phish for "bad songwriting" or "jams that go nowhere," they're really just saying, "Phish doesn't live up to my predetermined ideas about what a good song is." Ween and Zappa have idiotic lyrics, moreso than Phish. But, people never complain about them for some reason. Butthole Surfers, too, but they're the critics and hipsters darlings (pre-Capitol Records, of course). People are retards when it comes to Phish. And that especially includes the "phans." I guess that comes with the territory when a band is so different and its fans tend to be so "uncool". I was never a stinky wook or part of the scene. I always liked Phish for the music. And you wouldn't say any other jazz musician, movie score or classical composer "couldnt' write a song." It's just a dumb ill-conceived notion people have for pop or semi-popular music. If you don't like it, fuck off. It doesn't mean it's "bad."