The Daily Deuce

113 Beatles Songs Better Than Hey Jude

2012-01-30T18:53:00.000-05:00

I Saw Her Standing There
Please, Please Me
Twist and Shout
I Want to Hold Your Hand
A Hard Day's Night
Can't Buy Me Love
Things We Said to Today
I Feel Fine
She's a Woman
Eight Days a Week
Help
Yesterday
Act Naturally
You've Got to Hide Your Love Away
Ticket to Ride
We Can Work it Out
Day Tripper
Drive My Car
Norwegian Wood
You Won't See Me
Nowhere Man
Think for Yourself
The Word
Michelle
What Goes On
Girl
I'm Looking Through You
In My Life
Wait
If I Needed Someone
Run For Your Life
Paperback Writer
Rain
Tax Man
Eleanor Rigby
I'm Only Sleeping
Love You To
Here, There and Everywhere
She Said She Siad
And Your Bird Can Sing
Doctor Robert
I Want to Tell You
Got to Get You into My Life
Tomorrow Never Knows
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
With a Little Help from My Friends
Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds
Getting Better
Fixing a Holde
Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite
When I'm Sixty-Four
Lovely Rita
Good Morning, Good Morning
A Day in the Life
Magical Mystery Tour
The Fool on the Hill
Blue Jay Way
Your Mother Should Know
I Am the Walrus
Strawberry Fields Forever
Baby, You're A Rich Man
All You Need is Love
The Inner Light
Back in the USSR
Dear Prudence
Glass Onion
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Happiness is a Warm Gun
Martha My Dear
I'm So Tired
Blackbird
Piggies
Rocky Raccoon
Don't Pass Me By
Why Don’t We Do It in the Road
I Will
Julia
Birthday
Yer Blues
Mother Nature's Son
Everybody's God Something to Hide …
Sexy Sadie
Helter Skelter
Revolution 1
Cry Baby Cry
Only a Northern Song
Hey Bulldog
It's All Too Much
Come Together
Something
Oh Darling
I Want You (She's So Heavy)
Here Comes the Sun
Because
You Never Give Me Your Money
Sun King
Mean Mr. Mustard
Polythene Pam
She Came in Through …
Golden Slumbers
Carry That Weight
The End
Don't Let Me Down
Old Brown Shoe
Ballad of John and Yoko
Two of Us
Dig a Pony
Across the Universe
I Me Mine
Let It Be
I've Got a Feeling
For You Blue
Get Back

Fame's Backside List

2011-12-27T12:25:00.002-05:00

Instead of doing a "Best of" this year for thealbums that came out, I'm going to rank 10 albums by bands that I already likedand are probably on the downside of their careers and how they fared with theirmost current album. Hell, let's make it11 for it being 2011.

The Top 11 Albums By Bands I Like That Are Now on theDownside of Their Careers that Came Out in 2011

Yes, I love long list titles. That's half the fun right there.

11. TV on the Radio –Nine Types of Light

I'm probably being too harsh on a band that lost a memberthis year. My thing with this band is Iwas never really a fan because they were too overdramatic, but then Dear Science came out and I loved thatone. Naturally, that made me excited forthis one, and I think I ended up listening to it not once, not twice, butthrice. Ultimately, I'm just not a TV onthe Radio fan and they're going to have to deal. (Grade D)

10. Bright Eyes – ThePeople's Key

This is allegedly the last Bright Eyes album and that'sprobably a good thing. Coner caughtlightning in a bottle with I'm Wide AwakeIt's Morning and hasn't done much since. He'll always have 2005. (GradeC-)

9. Radiohead – TheKing of Limbs

I really wish they'd give up trying to be different (or exactlythe same in Radiohead land) and write enjoyable music again. I can only take so much of strange drum loopswith non-music music being played over it, all the while Thom York whining … ohthe whining. It's worse that skinnyjeans or fedoras. "It takes a lot of guts to all wear the samehat." That's how I feel aboutRadiohead's "art." (C)

8. The Rapture – Inthe Grace of Your Love

No clue what happened to these guys. The first song is terrible and the rest ofthe album is so plain, I can't get to the good songs at the end of thealbum. Are there good songs at the endof the album? (C)

7. Blitzen Trapper –American Goldwing

These guys went 70s rock and the results are mediocre. They're not reinventing the wheel here, andthere's not any song on this album that will blow you away, but they're doingthe exact opposite of what Radiohead does, and I love them for it. (C+)

6. The Strokes –Angles

Hearing that the singer recorded this album separately fromthe band definitely takes away from it. I liked this album before I heard that, and now it's not as good eventhough it's just a recording method and doesn't change the way any of the songssounds once you know the story. This iswhy you don't ever explain your art, and more definitely why bands should neverappear on VH1's Storytellers. If thatshow turned Jim James into a trinormous douche, I can't imagine what it woulddo to Julian Casablancas. (B-)

5. The Decemberists –The King Is Dead

I believe these guys are done for awhile, or at least on ahiatus. Colin Meloy wants to writechildren's books, or direct a play or something you'd expect Colin Meloy to do. Note: I follow two people on twitter,Bill Simmons and Colin Meloy. This albumis pretty good, though it definitely lacks the Decemberists typical charm. I always felt they released this one becausetheir rock opera, The Hazards of Love,didn’t exactly take with their fans, so they intentionally dumbed it down forthem. (B-)

4. Circuital – MyMorning Jacket

This is the perfect album by a band on the downside of theircareer. It starts out great, then getspretty ugly, or should I say "wonderful, wonderful, wonderful the way Ifeel" in the middle, then finally settles in to a couple of nice slowmovin' tunes at the end. I like guitargolden god side more than their slow, slow tunes, but the slower ones work onthis album. (B)

3. The Black Keys –El Camino

I just got this one, so the jury is still out. Hopefully I've erroneously included them onthe "Downside of their careers" list. I can already tell this album doesn't hold up to the last two, but inthere defense, what albums will? Itsounds like this is going to be a good album for them. Nothing groundbreaking though. (B)

2. Beastie Boys – HotSauce Committee Part 2

Congrats to the newly inducted Rock 'n Roll Hall of Famers! It's just too bad they're going to have toshare the stage with the likes of Anthony Kiedis and Axel Rose. On the other hand, if the Chili Peppers wereinducted before the Beastie Boys, I may have shat myself. I can't believe they made it at all. The Chili Peppers are basically ourgeneration's Eagles. Some people reallythink they're cool, they may have had a moment or two, but in the end, they'rejust a bunch of douchebags from Californiathat sing songs about California. If you're ever having a shitty day, and yourcab driver is blasting the Chili Peppers, would you not ask him to turn itoff? Check and mate. Beastie Boys album grade? (B+)

1. Wilco – The WholeLove

This almost seems like a comeback album for Wilco, mostlybecause it's bookended by two long, incredibly instant classic Wilco songs …mostly. They haven't had songs thisclassic since they gave birth to a ghost in 2004. The bookends are so impressive they couldhave goldfish swimming in them. Themiddle however, is merely pretty good, some good songs here and there, but it'sfar from the perfection of albums like YankeeHotel Foxtrot and Summerteeth andprobably lacks the soul of Being There orA Ghost is Born. Now that they're on their own labelagain, they may still have potential to crank out a classic album even thoughthey're way past their prime (kind of like the Flaming Lips did in 2009). We'll see. (B+)

The Top 130 Songs of 2002

2011-12-15T12:38:00.003-05:00

I’m going to just get right into this one:

130. Beautiful –Snoop Dogg

129. Seven Below –Phish

This song would’ve been much better if a producer wasinvolved and about 3 minutes was trimmed off, of course, that could be sendabout most Phish songs.

128. Get Busy – SeanPaul

Sometimes you just have to have dance hall, even though it’sarguably the worst genre of music I’ve ever heard in my life. It’s better than death metal … and that’sprobably about it.

127. Leif Erickson -Interpol

126. Don’t Let It GetYou Down - Spoon

125. Guess I’m DoingFine - Beck

124. The RoosterMoans – Iron & Wine

123. PDA – Interpol

122. Passion –Blackalicious

121. Back to the Life– Spoon

The thing about Killthe Moonlight is the songs are better together than they are separate.

120. Time for Heroes– The Libertines

119. Hot In Here –Nelly

Take off all your clothes. This song is too much fun to not include.

118. Danger, HighVoltage – Electric Six

117. She Said, SheSaid – The Black Keys

I love them remaking this Beatles tune. No one really remakes the Beatles well, sothis is quite a feat.

116. All the PrettyGirls Go to the City – Spoon

115. Silent Sigh –Badly Drawn Boy

114. Astronaut – Luna

113. Retirement Song– Medeski, Martin & Wood

112. The Seed – TheRoots

111. Highly Evolved –The Vines

110. The New -Interpol

109. Another MorningStoner – Trail of Dead

108. There Goes theFear – Doves

107. My Dad’s GoneCrazy – Eminem

106. Make War –Bright Eyes

After getting past Coner’s douchebaggery, Bright Eyes dohere what they do best, some good alt-country.

105. Spilled MilkFactory – Ugly Cassanova

104. Pot Kettle Black– Wilco

103. TheLegionnaire’s Lament – The Decemberists

102. No, Not Now –Hot Hot Heat

101. Let’s PushThings Forward – The Streets

100. Six Days – DJShadow

99. Rex Kramer –Gomez

98. Money BecomesKing – Tom Petty

97. A Cautionary Song– The Decemberists

This would qualify as their first sea shanty.

96. Busted – TheBlack Keys

Raw rock. Gotta loveit. Sad I missed this in 2002.

95. Day One –Blackalicious

I’m not sure what the ‘Licious intended with this sweet rapalbum closing with an R&B tune, but whatever they were doing itworked.

94. Bird StealingBread – Iron & Wine

93. Are You aHypnotist? – Flaming Lips

92. What Have YouDone For Me Lately – Sharon Jones

Hearing a good old fashion funk artist that’s new and alsohappens to be covering a Janet Jackson song is pretty sweet.

91. Sky Is Falling –Blackalicious

This became a song associated with 9/11 mainly because itwas most likely about 9/11. Weird huh?

90. The Irony of ItAll – The Streets

In this corner marijuana and in this corner alcohol, thebattle for it all!

89. Jonah – HackensawBoys

It’s hard for me to rank their songs on the premise thatthey all sound exactly the same. That’sthe problem with bluegrass being your only genre, it’s kinda like reggae inthat way. This one is pretty goodthough.

88. ParagraphPresident – Blackalicious

87. Alive Again –Trey Anasatasio

86. Smilin’ Must MeanSomething – Hackensaw Boys

This song has a very comfortable mellowness.

85. Obstacle 1 -Interpol

84. Don’t Know Why –Norah Jones

83. Army Dub - Gomez

82. It’s Summertime –Flaming Lips

81. Already Dead –Beck

Beck’s mellow album has aged better than his Mellow Goldalbum.

80. Dream of You –The Coral

79. Uninvisible –Medeski, Martin & Wood

78. Merman – MaxTundra

I’ve known this song for about 10 years now, and to thisday, I still don’t know if the copy I have is skipping, or that’s just how thesong goes. I’ve always believed that’sjust how it goes.

77. Made You Look –Nas

76. Black Rooster –The Kills

75. What a Waster –The Libertines

74. It’s Too Late –The Streets

73. Lost Cause – Beck

72. Soldier – Eminem

71. Gondra – MaxTundra

70. 4000 Miles –Blackalicious

My girlfriend just said this song sounds like Eminem whichleads me to the expression wtf?

69. Cat Faces – UglyCassanova

68. Walls of the Cave– Phish

I’d love to rank this song higher because despite the factthat some parts are pretty cheesy, a lot of it is great. The main downside is Phish’s rush to put outan album before the bootlegs went around led to really shitty vocals. No other band but Phish would get away withvocals this shitty on an album.

67. Dy-Na-Mi-Tee –Ms. Dynamite

I never heard this song in 2002 and am complete unaware ofits popularity, but it’s a lot of fun.

66. Stay Positive –The Streets

65. Ruff Stuff –Gomez

64. Baudelaire –Trail of Dead

63. Bandages – HotHot Heat

62. One More Robot –Flaming Lips

61. Sure Shot - Gomez

60. Lovedust – Luna

59. Ego Tripping atthe Gates of Hell – Flaming Lips

58. Cobra – MyMorning Jacket

This is a tough to rank. The version I have is over 20minutes long (which now makes it the longest song I have on the list). It’s backed by a drum machine. Basically, I just need to find out where tocut it and it’s probably somewhere during the 13^th minute.

57. First in Flight –Blackalcious

56. Waste of Paint –Bright Eyes

55. Monsoon – Trailof Dead

54. Do You Realize? –The Flaming Lips

This song makes me think of the advent of a new technology,most like because I can no longer remember what commercial it was usedfor. It was so strange hearing theFlaming Lips on TV all the time in the early aughts.

53. ChemicalCalisthenics – Blackalicious

Sure it’s a pretty good gimmick, but I love speed and beatsto this one.

52. Lose Yourself –Eminem

This is one of Em’s more overrated songs, but his “Eye ofthe Tiger-esque” rap song is a lot of fun, especially when you’re about to getinto a rap battle.

51. It Was There ThatI Saw You – Trail of Dead

50. Hurt – JohnnyCash

Cash has had better covers, but this one was so big becausehe covered Trent Reznor which is weird. Weird trumps good often in today’s musical age.

49. The Golden Age –Beck

48. I’ll Be You’reMan – The Black Keys

47. Odalisque – TheDecemberists

Even though maybe these guys would wind up doing betterProgRock a little later in their careers, it’s fun to hear them go for it allhere.

46. Lion’s Mane –Iron & Wine

45. Poor Places –Wilco

Yankee … Hotel …Foxtrot

44. Smoke LikeRibbons – Ugly Cassanova

43. Paper Tiger –Beck

42. Something to LookForward To - Spoon

41. Clocks – Coldplay

I’m not a Coldplay guy, but they’re probably better than, “Iknow you’re gay because you listen to Coldplay.” This is a good song at least aside from thewhining.

40. Work It – MissyElliott

Flip it and reverse it. Okay Missy, I try every time.

39. White America –Eminem

38. Barnacles – UglyCassanova

37. Too Much Brandy –The Streets

I’ve never been drunk on brandy. That means it probably will never happen now,in a manner similar to crack. I thinkI’ve past my prime crack years.

36. Push on Til theDay – Trey Anastasio

This is quintessentially the perfect hippy jam song. If you love funky grooves and crescendos,this song is impossible not to like.

35. War on War –Wilco

Here’s another song perfect for post 9/11 America that waswritten before the tragedy.

34. Release Parts 1-3 – Blackalicious

I have to admit, I’m not only a sucker for the poetry in themiddle of this epic, but they also reference King Kong Bundy, so yes, it’s aclassic.

33. Naked in the CityAgain – Hot Hot Heat

This was a great song by a band that never got realpopular.

32. Kamera – Wilco

If you’re scoring at home, Wilco goes 10 for 11 in my listwith songs off Yankee Hotel Foxtrot.

31. Geezers NeedExcitement – The Streets

30. Labial – MaxTundra

I know very few have probably heard this song, putting it incontention for one of the least popular songs that I rank very highly, but thisexpands sound as well as anything Radiohead has ever done.

29. July! July! – TheDecemberists

The Decemberists are almost like what would’ve happened ifNeutral Milk Hotel never ended. Almost.

28. Aural Pleasure –Blackalicious

27. In the Morning ofMagicians – Flaming Lips

26. Turn the Page –The Streets

I forgot how good this album is. If you haven’t heard this one, or haven’theard it in awhile, it’s probably time to turn it back on.

25. Ashes of AmericanFlags – Wilco

24. Things I Don’tRemember – Ugly Cassanova

I listened to this recently while high and all of a sudden thoughtthis song may have been about Isaac forgetting about parents or maybe an Uncle,or hell, maybe even Sandusky (sorry, couldn’t resist that flavor of the monthof child molestation villainy) that was doing bad things to him and this was abouthim forgetting them, rather than him just getting drunk and not being able toremember the night before. Bigdifference. Marijuana is bad.

23. Faded From theWinter – Iron & Wine

This is the coldest camp fire song I’ve ever heard in mylife.

22. I’m the Man WhoLoves You - Wilco

21. Blazing Arrow –Blackalicious

This song just makes we want to turn the pool party up anotch by doing a cannonball.

20. Losing My Edge –LCD Soundsystem

Even though James Murphy seems to be mocking himself alittle, this is still the most pretentious song I’ve ever heard. Great tune though.

19. No One Knows –Queens of the Stone Age

I once tried to learn this song on guitar, and it’s probablyno harder than any Extreme song, but I didn’t have the patience. I’ve become such a strummer, I can’t learngreat rock songs anymore. Playing “BeMy Baby” on the other hand is a blast. Or…

18. Heavy MetalDrummer – Wilco

Playing Kiss covers,beautiful and stoned.

17. Detroit Swing 66– Gomez

I don’t really understand where these guys came from or whothey are, but I do know I would have no clue if it wasn’t for Dilly G. Fun band.

16. Bring the Pain –Missy Elliott

Being a hip hop amateur, I didn’t know this was a cover, oris it? I don’t understand hip hop. Timbaland samples the same beat from MethodMan’s original and the song has the same name, but in some divexing strange hiphop world, it’s not a cover. Either way,I love Missy’s “version” almost as much as her predecessors.

15. Relative Ways –Trail of Dead

Pitchforkmedia gave this album a perfect 10 back in 2002,and though it’s far from a perfect landmark album, it has some great moments,as you see they’ve placed five times on my list.

14. Small Stakes –Spoon

This is one of those songs that starts out an album so wellthat the rest of the album is probably a bit overrated. I feel like I’m about to listen to a conceptalbum, but I’m not sure if it is. Ithelps that it’s also followed by “The Way We Get By.” Ah, the songs that made me love Spoon 10years ago.

13. Radio Cure –Wilco

Wilco sort of dominated 2002 due to the Foxtrot.

12. Hotcha Girls –Ugly Cassanova

I’m not sure what happened to the Mouse after The Moon and Antarctica but this “solo”album Isaac dropped is quite underrated. It’s nearly immaculate, minus some parasites here and there.

11. Yoshiimi Battlesthe Pink Robots – Flaming Lips

This is such a fun song. It’s not so great to see it live, but the recording is a blast. It’s also one of those great for acousticguitar songs of which the Flaming Lips really don’t have.

10. Make You Feelthat Way – Blackalicious

This sounds like a golden age of hip hop song. Chill. It’s like gangsta rap never happened. Oh, how one could dream.

9. Untitled –Interpol

The band that surprises you sometimes by coming around can’ttitle one of their best songs. Ugh.

8. Gossip Folks –Missy Elliott

Here’s my pinnacle of Missy “Misdemeanor (very dumb rap nameunfortunately)” lovin. This was one ofthose songs s so good that you had to learn the dance to, whereas a song like“Soldier Boy” is so crappy, there’s no reason to learn the dance … and no, Idon’t dance. I guess I’m talking aboutmock dancing.

7. Lonesome Tears –Beck

This is Beck’s biggest home run of his pure mellowalbum. Even when I’m happy, thislonesome ballad makes me happier, but obviously in a sullen way.

6. Fight Test – FlamingLips

It was great to see the Lips get popular in 2002 after morethan a decade of existing. They reallydidn’t have to sell out their sound either which is a double plus.

5. NYC – Interpol

I finally felt like adding this to the guitar playin’repertoire this year and well, it had bad idea jeans all over it. Aside from its general melancholy, this songneeds its sound effects.

4. I Am Trying toBreak Your Heart – Wilco

You can generally tell if an album is classic by how greatthe first song is. Yes, there are manyalbums with great first songs that aren’t classics, but if that first songfails to get you excited for the rest of the album, it’s not a classic. This gets me quite excited for Yankee Hotel Foxtrot on par with theheartbeats that start out Dark Side, Trey’s“Rift” riff, and hearing about all the girls from around the world on Paul’s Boutique.

3. The Way We Get By– Spoon

I love this song so much I had to learn it on guitar, eventhough it’s piano song. After thisalbum, I heard the dude who played piano quit to tour with Michele Branch andthought Spoon would never be the same. Fortunately, they didn’t miss a beat, but they’ll probably never have apiano driven song this good again.

2. Jesus etc – Wilco

This became a 9/11 anthem with the tall buildings shaking,voicing escaping, singing sad, sad songs line that was written well before thetragedy. This could be Tweedy’s greatestmoment of beauty lyrically.

1. Without Me –Eminem

Ranking this the best song of 2002, especially up againstsuch great acts like Wilco and Spoon seems like I’m making a mistake. In 2002, this is the song that made me switchsides on Eminem. If there was ever oneriff I played “the most” on bass during Toast shows, it had to be thisone. That’s gotta count for something,not to mention how much fun the lyrics are and man, just how groovy this songis.

Best Violent Death Scenes

2011-11-28T18:10:00.001-05:00

This one is pretty hard to quantify, so here are mycaveats. For starters, I'm discountinghorror movies or any of that torture porn crap. I've never been a fan and never will be. If you're centering your whole movie around torture porn, there'sprobably not much of a narrative and I'm certain it's nothing that could beconsidered film. It's all about gettingfreaked out or witnessing something that's "so wrong." Talkin 'bout my generation …

Anyways, here are 20 horrific moments (maybe even a littlemore) in some wonderful films. Naturally, the mastery of this started with Hitchcock, who passed thebaton to Kubrick, then to Scorsese and then to Tarantino, so you'll find manyof their moments here.

20. Anton Chigurh andhis Air Gun – No Country For Old Men

When he pulls over that one guy to take his car, you feelthe full brunt of it. I didn't mentionthe Coen Bros. above because they're known for a lot more than violence, but itis something else they excel at.

19. Black Mamba 1,Bud 0 – Kill Bill Vol. 2

Of all the mayhem going on in the Kill Bill movies, the onethat doesn't involve a Samurai sword is probably the worst (well, except forthat one dude who gets split in half). In fact, I have to adjust …

19. Guy Who GetsSplit in Half – Kill Bill Vol. 1

18. Whatever Happenedto Zed – Pulp Fiction

To keep the Tarantino talk going, what ever happened to"Mr. Soon to be living the rest of his life in agonizing pain" isprobably worse than anyone else on this list, but either fortunately orunfortunately, it's not shown so I can't rank it too high.

17. Bowling Pin BeatDown – There Will Be Blood

What the hell was Eli thinking going back to Daniel yearslater? Did he get tired of havingunprotected sex in Haiti?

16. A Shark Attack –Jaws

Could you imagine how much more gruesome this movie wouldhave been if Spielberg had been able to get his mechanical shark working theway he wanted it to?

15. Singin' In theRain – A Clockwork Orange

I'm ranking this one because it's a trailblazer. Ultra-violence wasn't really part of cinemaback then, at least this extreme. It maybe a bit tame by today's standards but you have to give points to the oneswho've been there before.

14. Melting Faces –Raiders of the Lost Ark

On VCR's, you could rewind it and see their faces come backon.

13. JFK Blown Away,What Else do I have to Say? – JFK

The actual footage of his head coming apart is godawful. The difference between this oneand the rest of these is well, this actually happened.

12. Stuck In theMiddle With You – Reservoir Dogs

Mr. Blonde doing his little routine that involves and earcutting and gasoline is bad enough. Whenyou tack on Mr. Orange bleeding to death the entire movie, it's almostunwatchable, but it's still suuuuuuuuuuuch a great film.

11. For the Animals –The Godfather, Apocalypse Now, Fatal Attraction

Here you gave gruesome deaths of a horse, cow and bunnyrabbit. They're all quite brutal. The worst has to be the cow slashing in ApocalypseNow. For all the beheadings and what notin that movie, it comes down to that cow slashing that's too much for me. I can handle everything else.

10. The Shock Valueof Scarface – Scarface

When this movie was remade in 1982, it didn't bring too muchto the table except for Al Pacino talking in a funny accent and being one ofthe most miserable people on earth. Italso brought good death scenes. "Chainsaw to the Head" is probably the worst of the bunch, butI'm also a fan of "Hung from a Helicopter."

9. The Deadly Sins –Seven

I haven't seen Seven in many years now as I'm way overduefor a viewing. As with any serial killermovie, you're going to have some gruesome deaths, and two I remember from thisone (aside from Gwenyth Paltrow's head in a box) are the murders for Sloth andGluttony. Evil. Pure evil. Kevin Spacey's kind of a dick sometimes.

8. Jesus – Passion ofthe Christ

Let's face it. MelGibson only made this film to see how much torture he could inflict onJesus. The result: Jesus takes abeating.

7. Riddled WithBullets Scenes

I prefer Sonny Corleone death over Bonnie and Clyde's, but all three of them met with too many bulletsto be indentified. Sonny's is betterbecause there's more people shooting at him and he doesn't have a counterpartthat takes half of the bullets for him.

6. The Shower Scene –Psycho

This is the original "Great Death" scene. Again, like many old violent scenes it'sreally tame by today's standards, and this movie would be much less watchableif we actually saw the knife go into the girl a million times kinda like whatthe Goodfellas do to Jimmy Batts (just missed the cut), but it's the firstclassic, so it deserves to rank highly.

5. Anything Hannibal Lecter – Silenceof the Lambs

The one that comes to mind is him taking the faces off ofthe two cops watching him. His mereexistence is quite grotesque so he has to rank highly.

4. Out of the Park –Inglorious Basterds

Watching the Bear Jew rap that German soldier on his nogginis very hard. Not even the scalpings orNazi emblem carvings in this movie match the repeated beating of the BearJew. Yes, I turn around sometimes whenthat scene comes on. That's pretty muchhow you can tell if a scene is really violent. If the head turns, that's powerful.

3. Head in Vice –Casino

This may not turn the head like other moments do, but youhave to love the mafia creativity of putting someone's head in a vice, even ifthey're only protecting Charlie M.

2. The Wood Chipper –Fargo

What's great about this scene is every time I watch Fargo I get excited forit. It's the opposite of a head turningscene, yet, still more horrific than most. For some disturbing reason I love seeing Buscemi's legs sticking out ofthat thing. This would be #1 accept forthe fact that I've seen …

1. Teeth on Curb –American History X

And I can't take this one. I can't think of one single scene from onesingle movie I fear more than this one.

The Top 15 Little People In Film

2011-11-08T18:33:00.002-05:00

The last time I saw the Wizardof Oz, I was enamored with theidea of the munchkins from the film getting involved in a drunken fight withthe monkeys also on the set. I evenwrote my fun thoughts out in blog form:

http://thedailydeuce.blogspot.com/2009/02/wizard-of-oz-munchkins-vs-monkeys.html

After that, I started keeping track of notable little peoplein films I saw with the aspirations of somehow creating the Wrestlemania 2style elimination battle royal between all of these little people. Would it be something to write up for shitsand giggles? Maybe make a major pieceout of it, or better yet, use modern day CGI to create it visually? Well, I obviously can't do the latter (where'sRobert Zemeckis when you need him) and sadly, me writing about a little personbattle royal just seems too silly, even for me.

Another problem for me is I don't watch too many circus freaktype movies, so I'm probably missing out on numerous little people that wouldappear in these types of films. Forinstance, there must be at least one in BigTop Pee Wee, but I haven't seen that movie in years, so who knows. Getting around all those I've missed, well,that's not acceptable. This means I haveto research famous little people. Offthe top of my head, I can think of many television actors, like Gary Coleman,Webster, Mickey from "Seinfeld" (Danny Woodburn) etc, but there areother walks of life I can't use either. For instance, there's apparently a porn actress named "Bridget theMidget" which is too funny to not get an honorable mention here. What's great is many have attempted this liston the internet, so there's actual research to be done … and here I go …

Researching was probably not a good idea. Yes, I found a few (Bridget the Midget wasobviously the highlight though), but inevitably you read all the sideshow typeroles, the exploitation, and premature deaths … oh, that was probably a badpun. Let me do this list before I decideagainst further exploitation.

The Top 15 Little People in Film

15. Kenny Baker

He was the poor soul trapped inside that R2D2 skeleton inthe Star Wars movies. He didn't do too much aside from avoid dyingof either suffocation or claustrophobia, but hell, if anyone, he's R2D2, sohe's got that going for him. Unfortunately, he was no longer needed in the three prequels due toCGI. How come no one ever says,"Man, the reason why those new StarWars movies sucked was because they didn't bring back Kenny Baker, theoriginal R2!"

14. The Little PeopleFrom Freaks

I can't watch this movie because it just freaks me out toomuch (naturally).

13. Stumpy from O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Sure it's demeaning, but having a little person mimic yourposturing while running for office would sure make American politics more fun,just imagine mini-Herman Cain!

12. Joe Pesci

Some day Joe Pesci is going to die, and I'm going to re-readthis post mistakenly and feel quite bad for placing him here.

11. The Jawas

The Star Wars filmsused many little people. In fact, here'sthe Top 5 Films in terms of who used the most little people (and this isn'tfactual, it's just my guess)

5. Freaks

4. Lord ofthe Rings Movies

3. StarWars Movies

2. WillyWonka and the Chocolate Factory

1. TheWizard of Oz

10. WarwickDavis

He's best known for playing … THE LEPRECHAUN!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!

9. Hobbits

The fact that Peter Jackson found so many of the hobbitsthat still inhabit the earth to play hobbits in his films is downrightincredible.

8. Wilson

For those who don't remember, Wilsonis not the evil leader of

Prussia

,nor Tim Allen's faceless neighbor. He'sin fact, Tom Hanks' volleyball friend in CastAway. I'm not exactly sure who thelittle person was that sat inside of him the whole time, but one has to bepretty small to fit inside of a volleyball. Let's hope he was freed before the ball floated away. On a more serious note, you know Cast Away is a great movie because thisscene is very emotional. It's avolleyball floating away from someone and it somehow becomes tragic.

7. The Ewoks

Though they don't get too much of the blame, these furrycreatures are responsible as any for the downfall of a proud franchise. It just so happens the Star Wars generation was young enough to appreciate them whereasgiving Jar Jar Binks a pass is downright impossible. Most people don't know this, but many of thelittle people who played Ewoks in this film went on to become famous, like theLeprechaun himself, Warwick Davis, and I surprise actor who will be mentionedlater.

6. Danny Devito!

No, he didn't play an Ewok, but it would've been a lotcooler if he did! People talk aboutovercoming physical defects in life, i.e. like Owen Wilson overcoming his nose,but look at what DeVito has done. Despite being the size of well … a penguin, he has accepted who he is andbeen able to do just about anything he's wanted in Hollywood, a city that rankssomewhere between America's favorite and least favorite.

5. The Oompa Loompasfrom Willy Wonka and the ChocolateFactory

Any time you have a group of little people that look exactlyalike and sing songs about moral dilemmas, you're witnessing something that'sreally going to help society.

4. The Munchkins fromThe Wizard of Oz

Little did they know that they would turn into very tastymini-donuts served by Dunkin Donuts untilthe name became too politically incorrect. Soon, George Lucas will find a way to go back and edit The Wizard of Oz so they're no longerreferred to as munchkins. Maybe he canCGI more flying monkeys too?

3. Mini-Jesus

Though the film has not been made yet, I promise you whenthe day comes, that a Bruce Willis style action movie comes out, starringSamuel L. Jackson as Jesus (of course) and his partner is a white mini-Jesus,this mini-Jesus will crush it.

2. Verne Taylor

Mini-me is probably the most beloved little personever. I'd make him #1 except for thefact that …

1. Tony Cox

Exists. He'sprobably most known for his role in BadSanta, but he's done much more, including being an Ewok, and in Willow. Theonly thing harder in life than being a little person, is being a black littleperson, well, unless you’re a gay black little person who believes inAllah. He's also appeared in videos withEminem and Snoop Dogg. That's quite acareer that hasn't once been stunted.

The Top 70 Songs of 2001

2011-11-07T19:37:00.000-05:00

Wow, nearly a month between posts. This aggression will not stand man, or at least this lack of aggression. The last pre-9/11 year wasn't a particularly good one for music, and it's probably not fair to say, "Thank god 9/11 happened so music got better!" even though I just did.

The best parts of 2001 were probably the Strokes debut and the Shins debut (two bands who are pretty much goners now in terms of relevance).

The worst part of 2001 is that this is the year Radiohead junkies started letting them get away with garbage in a box and calling it art and giving it lofty 9.0 rankings and their hipster websites. Aside from the first song, there's not too much pleasurable about it, and is the Exhibit "A" that fashionable music magazines and websites collectively decided to give Radiohead great grades from there on in no matter what. It's outtakes people. They didn't make the cut on Kid A because they were experimental crap. Just because something is experimental doesn't make it good. Props to Radiohead though for duping hipsters for about 10 years running now. Anyways, here are 70 songs ...

70. I’m Finding ItHarder to Be a Gentleman – White Stripes

69. Izzo (H.O.V.A.) –Jay-Z

This almost sounds like something Will Smith would do minusthe bad words.

68. The Weather –Built to Spill

67. Trees – Pulp

66. Good Souls –Starsailor

65. Strange – Built toSpill

64. 11:11 – AndrewBird

There’s not a song for every minute of the day, but I wonderhow many minutes of the day are covered. Probably most of the hours on the hour (especially the midnight hour),maybe some half hours (4:30), and there must be a 4:20. I know Spoon has 10:20 am, and here’sanother. This sounds like a very boringWikipedia project.

63. I Might Be Wrong– Radiohead

62. Happiness – Builtto Spill

61. Jenny and theEss-Dog – Steve Malkmus

60. The Union Forever– White Stripes

59. New York CityCops – The Strokes

Kind of like “Bombs over Baghdad”, we have another songcasualty of 9/11 as it was removed from the album after the disaster. Years later, still a good decision.

58. Know Your Onion –The Shins

57. Let Me Blow YourMind w/ Stefani – Eve

Who woulda thunk Eve was so gangsta?

56. New York, NewYork – Ryan Adams

55. Anywhere, Anyone– DNTEL

54. At Dawn – My MorningJacket

… continuing right where they left off with The Tennessee Fire.

53. 72 (ThisHighway’s Mean) – Drive-By Truckers

52. Sing – Travis

51. Someday – TheStrokes

50. The Host – Built toSpill

49. Too Long – AndrewBird

Apparently Bird didn’t make nearly as clean of a break fromhis old style as Bob Dylan did once he turned rock.

48. A Movie ScriptEnding – Death Cab For Cutie

47. Has It Come toThis – The Streets

In one of my more racist moments, I immediately liked thisguy less when I found out he was white.

46. Miles Away – YeahYeah Yeahs

From their first recordings, you can tell they have theenergy.

45. Witness (I Hope)– Roots Manuva

44. You Are – Builtto Spill

43. Way Out West –Andrew Bird

42. Pilot – TheNotwist

41. Soma – TheStrokes

I’m not sure if I like Julian’s voice when all is said anddone. He’s one of those guys who shouldnever scream, and he does.

40. Umbrella – DNTEL

I must have been really depressed in 2001 because I lovethis song.

39. We Laugh Indoors– Death Cab For Cutie

38. Sexi Plexi – JackJohnson

37. Two Way Action –Andrew Bird

Here’s proof that everyone has to rock eventually.

36. One By One AllDay – The Shins

35. Short Skirt/LongJacket – Cake

34. Here It Comes –Modest Mouse

33. What EverHappened to My Rock’n Roll (A Punk Song) – Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

This is neither a rock’n roll or punk song.

32. Natural Decline – Smog

31. Family Affair –Mary J. Blige

I like an MJB song, who woulda thunk it?

30. Juxtaposed WithYou – Super Furry Animals

29. I Think I Smell aRat – White Stripes

All you little kidsseem to think you know just where it’s at

Oh, I think I smell arat

Using your mother andfather for a welcome mat

Oh, I think I smell arat

28. Hopefully – MyMorning Jacket

27. The Modern Age –The Strokes

26. La Cienega JustSmiled – Ryan Adams

Whatever this song does, and whatever I’m feeling right nowmatch perfectly.

25. How Indiscreet –Andrew Bird

Man, Andrew Bird rocks the shit out of this song.

24. Astounded w/Curtis Mayfield – Bran Van 3000

23. Dead Leaves andDirty Ground – White Stripes

22. Meanwhile, RickJames … Cake

21. Fell In Love Witha Girl – White Stripes

20. Phone West West –My Morning Jacket

19. Hard to Explain –The Strokes

18. Lowdown – My MorningJacket

17. Xmas Curtain – MyMorning Jacket

I always include this as one of my favorite Xmas songs, butjust because Xmas is in the title doesn’t make it necessarily about theholiday. You’re the criminal who never breaks the law.

16. Hotel Yorba –White Stripes

15. InaudibleMelodies – Jack Johnson

If there’s a Dave Matthews coaching tree, I imagine this guywas like his defensive coordinator or something.

14. Bermuda Highway –My Morning Jacket

Maybe I’m to blame forhis short and bitter fucked up life.

13. Barely Legal –The Strokes

Here are the Stokes, re-pioneering the neneneneneneneneneguitar sound.

12. We’re Going to beFriends – White Stripes

I love the sensitivity on display in this one. It’s one of things that separates the Stripesfrom cock rock. Motley Crue couldn’t doa song like this, nor could some band a little classier like Led Zeppelin.

11. Clint Eastwood –Gorillaz

It’s great hearing Del again in 2001 after Deltron. It’s almost like a continuation.

10. Caring is Creepy– The Shines

Natalie Portman and the Shins, what’s not to like?

9. Packed LikeSardines in a Crushed Tin Can – Radiohead

8. The Way That HeSings – My Morning Jacket

Sometimes it’s really fun to take My Morning Jacket songsand pretend they’re about Jesus. Kindaruins the band a little, but it’s still fun. In fact, Top 5 My Morning Jacket songs that are fun to pretend thatthey’re about Jesus:

5. The Way That He Sings

4. Golden

3. Tonight I Wanna Celebrate With You

2. Highly Suspicious

1. What a Wonderful Man

7. Hash Pipe – Weezer

I’ve been pretty hard on Weezer in my day, and probablyshouldn’t have been.

6. Can’t Get You Outof My Head – Kylie Minogue

The infectiousness of this song has a spell over me. This could probably go on for another 10minutes and I’d still love it.

5. Get Your Freak On– Missy Elliott

Missy has to be the best female rapper ever. When I think of the contestants though, it’snot like there’s that much competition. Queen Latifah? Meh. Nenah Cherry? Please. Salt? Peppa?

4. New Slang – TheShins

This song just makes me wanna go back to my hometown andride around my bike with my girlfriend on my handle bars, though that wouldprobably scare her.

3. Is This It? – The Strokes

I love the deliberately lazy pace of this song. It’s perfect for the mood.

2. (This Is) TheDream of Evan and Chan – DNTEL

This could be the Postal Service’s finest song, yet,technically it’s not their song even though it’s the same exact lineup.

1. Last Night – TheStrokes

This is the song that brought good rock music back into themainstream culture … I guess.

The Top 120 Songs of 2000

2011-10-10T11:50:00.002-04:00

Ah, the year 2000. This was supposed to be the year everythingchanged, and little did we know at the time that everything wouldn’t changeuntil 9 months into the year that followed. The Y2K crisis was a great indication as to how a 24 hour news cycle wouldmake everything crazier than it needed to be, reality TV shows like “Survivor”would pollute our airwaves, and yes, some fantastic music came out. Radiohead dropped Kid A, Modest Mouse had TheMoon and Antartica, Jurassic 5 and Deltron made classic rap albums,Medeski, Martin and Wood freaked everyone out who would listen with The Dropper, an unknown band namedClinic made one of the most underrated albums ever, and a nice girl taught usall that we need to well … fuck the pain away.

120. Contribution –Jurassic 5

119. Time Keeps onSlipping – Deltron

118. A Song ForLovers – Richard Ashcroft

117. Pretty Mary K –Elliott Smith

116. She’s Your Baby –Ween

115. One More Time –Daft Punk

Man, autotune is some annoying shit, even though in the year2000 it wasn’t yet. This song is like aMichael Jackson nightmare, but yet, it’s quite fun.

114. Wild Pack ofFamily Dogs – Modest Mouse

113. ScientistStudies – Death Cab For Cutie

I think the only reason I like these guys is because I lovethe Postal Service too much. It’s goodenough music, but what are they doing that Built to Spill isn’t doing muchbetter? Lyrics? Maybe, but I mean, c’mon.

112. Big Time –Medeski, Martin & Wood

111. Somebody I Usedto Know – Elliott Smith

110. 10:20 Am – Spoon

109. June Apple –Hackensaw Boys

Quite honestly, I know nothing about them, but they’re goodbluegrass, and a June anything, be it a June Tea, June Bug, June whatever is agreat song in the making,

108. Pandy Fackler –Ween

107. T-Street – Laika

106. Since I Left You– The Avalanches

105. Piper – Phish

104. How To DisappearCompletely – Radiohead

103. I’m Bound toPack It up – White Stripes

102. Shacklyn Nights –Medeski, Martin & Wood

101. Can’t Make aSound – Elliott Smith

100. Ms. Jackson –Outkast

99. Flutes of the Chi– Ween

98. Twist Around –Phish

Ah, Phish right before the “hiatus”. With the songs lacking noticeably on Farmhouse, it was probably a goodidea.

97. Too Young –Phoenix

Zach: You may likethese guys, they’re kinda like a French version of the Strokes.

Owen: But I hate theStrokes and French people!

96. Positive Contact– Deltron

95. Get Back on theTrain – Phish

94. Hate to Say I ToldYou So – The Hives

The Hives always seemed like phonies to me. Not Michael Jordan phony, but real phony.

93. Blood of the Lamb– Billy Bragg & Wilco

I AM THE BLOOD OF LAMB ELI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

92. Lovertits –Peaches

Aside from “Fuck the Pain Away”, Peaches doesn’t do her bestwork until her album titled Impeach MyBush which is either the worst album title or the best. I side with the best. Even if you enjoyed Dubya, how can you notlike an album entitled Impeach MyBush?

91. That Fitted Shirt– Spoon

90. Accelerator –Primal Scream

89. First Tube –Phish

88. Lost Art ofKeeping A Secret – Queens of the Stone Age

87. Joe DiMaggio’sDone it Again – Billy Bragg & Wilco

This is one helluva ho-down.

86. Letter From anOccupant – The New Pornographers

The New Pornographers always seem to be a band I would love,yet I’ve never owned an album by them. They at least have be better than Death Cab For Cutie and I own a coupleof theirs, so chalk that up as music listening negligence.

85. Back to Bosom –Ween

84. Virus – Deltron

83. One More Time –Dandy Warhols

82. Come On Let’s Go –Broadcast

81. Cold Discovery –Smog

I love the piano in this one. Callahan’s songs always sound like he justwoke and by the time they end, you can tell he’s finally awake.

80. The Way I Am –Eminem

Though Em’s follow up album isn’t as good as the first, hestill has his moments.

79. Anything You Want– Spoon

78. The Truth Doesn’tMake a Noise – White Stripes

77. Catch the Sun –The Doves

76. Bug – Phish

This is a great summer song.

75. Swing Set –Jurassic Five

Cut Chemist mixing swing and big band music = awesome.

74. Color Bars –Elliott Smith

73. Life Like Weeds –Modest Mouse

72. We Are Rolling –Medeski, Martin & Wood

Pure madness until it settles down about two and a halfminutes in. I always feel like I’m travelling through outer space whenI hear this song.

71. You’re PrettyGood Looking (For a Girl) – White Stripes

70. Junk Bond Trader– Elliott Smith

69. Tonight I WannaCelebrate With You – My Morning Jacket

The live in Vegas version is the best I’ve heard yet.

68. Moccasin – Laika

67. Hello Operator –White Stripes

66. The Return ofEvil Bill – Clinic

65. Son of Sam –Elliott Smith

64. 3030 – Deltron

Between Del, J5 and Blackalicious, non-attitude rap isbeginning to make a fantastic comeback.

63. GreatExpectations – Jurassic 5

62. Company Calls –Death Cab for Cutie

61. Lovely Head –Goldfrapp

60. Sand – Phish

59. A Different City– Modest Mouse

58. Goodnight Moon –Shivaree

57. World ofEntertainment – Jurassic 5

56. Beautiful Day –U2

U2 listening many years after their song comes out isn’t sobad. It is hard to get past Bono andEdge, but this is a pretty darn good tune.

55. El Cajon – Seely

54. Internal Wrangler– Clinic

53. Madness – Deltron

52. Drug Ballad –Eminem

51. Playground Love –Air

50. Paper Thin Walls –Modest Mouse

49. Heavy Things –Phish

I have too many wonderful memories of this song during thisera, so I’m probably overranking it a bit.

48. LA – ElliottSmith

I like songs about Los Angeles, but I like them more ifthere’s vomit and seashores involved, which doesn’t happen here.

47. Memory Loss –Deltron

46. Rain – The Clientele

The lyric repeats “October Rain” and because Guns N Rosesexisted, they obviously can’t name their song that. This ranks high on the rainy day song list,but not quite as high as “Riders on the Storm.”

45. Black Cat Bone –Laika

Laika is probably not the best music to play in the car whenyou’re on a first date.

44. Let’s Build aHome – White Stripes

Jack White’s wallet definitely says bad assmotherfucker.

43. 2/4 – Clinic

42. Upgrade – Deltron

Upgrade your graymatter cuz one day it may matter. Deltron 3030 is better as a whole that it’s songs are as singles.

41. Falling Out –Ween

40. I See a Darkness – Johnny Cash

You know you’re badass when JC covers your song, and I don’tsee how this wasn’t the highlight of Will Oldham’s career. Cash also gives it a much needed swagger thatOldham’s songs typically lack.

39. Voodoo Wop –Clinic

After listening to InternalWrangler, I thought these guys would reach Radiohead type levels. Expectations are a bitch.

38. Things You Can Do– Deltron

37. Stay Forever –Ween

I’ve always assumed Ween fans hate this song because it’s sonot Ween. It’s a great song. Probably could be called a sellout, but it’sWeen, do they even have the opportunity to sell out?

36. The Time Is Now –Moloko

What nobody realizes about our current Millenium is thatthis is the time that disco was perfected.

35. T.K. – Clinic

34. Gravel Pit –Wu-Tang

33. Perfect Disguise– Modest Mouse

I hope there’ssomething better up there.

32. The Pull – The Microphones

Some of these indie bands are fun 10+ years later when thebig break never happened.

31. Exactly Where I’mAt – Ween

With White Pepper, Weengets about as normal as Ween can get.

30. Death Letter –White Stripes

29. Overload –Sugababes

28. Better Off Alone– Alice Deejay

This is a great guilty pleasure song. As annoying as I imagine it is to somepeople, the melody is too infectious for me to ignore.

27. Come Pick Me Up –Ryan Adams

Here’s one of those artists I probably should have gotteninto more and never did simply because of a pop meme or something. Thisis a great tune. I almost feel bad forall those times I saw him live and made Bryan Adams jokes. What’s funny is Canadian Brians spell theirname B-R-Y-A-N and American Brians spell their name B-R-I-A-N.

26. Mastermind –Deltron

After very little deliberating, I’ve decided this isprobably the finest tune on the album.

25. The Crystal Lake –Grandaddy

Here’s another one of those Indie bands that went right byme. Oh well. I imagine all their songs aren’t this good,right?

24. Uneasy – Laika

For some reason, I though not loving someone until they saygoodbye was cool in the year 2000 as Laika suggests here.

23. Morning Bell –Radiohead

22. I Came as a Rat –Modest Mouse

It takes a long time,but God dies too

But not before he’llstick it to you

21. Airline to Heaven– Billy Bragg & Wilco

This collaborative effort has to rank as one of the bestever. How often do collaborative effortscome back for a “Volume 2” and sound this good? Never, that’s how many.

20. The Influence –Jurassic 5

19. Idioteque –Radiohead

18. Gravity Rides Everything– Modest Mouse

17. Felic – Medeski,Martin & Wood

16. Distortions –Clinic

Modest Mouse and Radiohead generally get all the pub for theyear 2000, but Clinic, had they continued being great like they are on thisalbum, would be right in the conversation. This one almost sounds like it was the inspiration for the Postal Service.

15. Battle WithoutHonor or Humanity – Tomoyasu Hotei

Another example of QT changing the history of a songentirely by placing it in one of his movies.

14. Lives – Modest Mouse

13. Bone Digger –Medeski, Martin & Wood

Watching the boys perform this live changed my perception ofThe Dropper. I couldn’t believe they could repeat ithonestly because it sounds like a spur of the moment type song. Wrong. Great tune.

12. Kill You – Eminem

If you can get past how bad energy this song is, it’s someof M’s finest work. Gotta be in the moodfor it though. Sometimes it’s just tooangry.

11. Dark Center ofthe Universe – Modest Mouse

It took a lot of workto be the ass that I am.

10. The Second Line –Clinic

9. Everything Hits atOnce – Spoon

Spoon starts sounding like the Spoon we know today. One of my faves of theirs fo sho.

8. B.O.B. – Outkast

This song would be changed forever in September of2001.

7. Tiny Cities Madeof Ashes – Modest Mouse

I’m gonna get dressedup in plastic and shake hands with the masses.

6. Jurass FinishFirst – Jurassic 5

There’s more to it than dad and mom coming in at the end andleaving great voice mails, but if I get one J5 song on the island, this onewins easy. There aren’t too many 2000and thereafter rap songs I like more than this one.

5. Bananas and Blow –Ween

Leave it to Ween to make using cocaine sound like a nicesoothing tropical experience. I guessanything sounds soothing though if you mix in bananas and a steel drum.

4. Fuck the Pain Away– Peaches

A classic. 99 artistscould make this song and it’d be terrible. 1 artist can make it right, and that’s Peaches. Whatelse in the teaches of peaches?

3. If I Ever FeelBetter – Phoenix

This is possibly the smoothest song I’ve ever heard in myentire life. I’ve loved it for years,and it always makes me happy when I hear it.

2. Third Planet –Modest Mouse

The major label debut (which I somehow still qualify asindie) could not have gone any better. Idon’t know how many new people were exposed to the Mouse in 2000 (I was), butwhoever did was treated to some of the best lyrics I’ve ever heard in mylife.

1. Everything In ItsRight Place – Radiohead

Ranking my favorite Radiohead song is difficult because ofthe limited lyrics on this song. Asidefrom that snafu, this is the most original song I’ve ever heard in my entirelife. It’s hard to change music, andRadiohead does that here better than any band since the Beatles.

Dilemmas from The Hangover

2011-09-26T19:29:00.002-04:00

There are two types of people in this world, those who wakeup hungover and prefer to deal with a random tiger in the bathroom, and thosewho wake up hungover and prefer to deal with a random baby crying thecloset. I'm the former. First off, I'd rather deal with the roaringthan the crying. Secondly, I imaginestealing a tiger lands you less jail time than possibly stealing a baby, andlastly, I'm probably more afraid of babies than I am tigers.

Probably thee worst sound when your hungover is the sound ofa baby crying. In fact, the Top 5 soundsI least want to hear when I'm hungover are:

5. Someone yelling

4. Revved Up CarEngine Idling and Given Gas or Harley

3. Modern Pop Music

2. A Blender

1. Baby Crying

A tiger roaring may seem a little scarier, but theuniqueness of a tiger roar would be a lot of fun, even if it's coming from thebathroom. Knowing what the charactersfrom The Hangover end up knowing,maybe the baby is the better decision sure, but my decisions are based on rightwhen you wake up, and the blackout slowly subsides.

Having an unknown baby to have to report to the police seemslike certain jail time. Sure, in thisfilm it's not, but if I ever wake up, and there's a baby I don't recognizeanywhere near where I wake up, I know I've fucked up bad. A trickier dilemma is, is this worse thanstealing a cop car? Obviously the crewgot off way too easy in the film, but that's what happens when you get arrestedby people who also appear on "The Daily Show." You tend to be ridiculed more so than youdeserve, but are set free after being the clown with dem liberal pies thrown atyou.

Real life dictates this being a felony. Hell, it's a felony to vandalize a cop car,but fortunately not to back into a cop car because that would've landed IsaacBrock in jail. With a random baby,there's a greater chance of a decent explanation for the situation whereas youeither steal a cop car, or don't steal a cop car. Chances of a reasonable explanation for thatfor the police are nil.

What makes the crew's hangover so real, is not that itperfectly captures a remorseful hangover, but something much worse, a fearfulhangover. Babies, tigers, the cops,gangs, drug dealers, marriage chapels, Mike Tyson, and hospitals are somethingnobody wants to be part of their fun evening out, well, maybe meeting MikeTyson would be fun. Maybe. Aside from loud noises, the things I'd wantto deal with least the day after a fun evening out would be:

5. Errands

4. Drug Dealers

3. Babies

2. Cops

1. Tragedy

There's no tragedy in this film, (thank god), but the moviepretty much contains the rest. Hell,checking out of a hotel alone sucks when you're hungover.

I haven't seen the sequel yet, and I'm sure it will hit #1in my Netflix queue when it comes out on BlueRay. I've heard it's exactly like the first, justnot nearly as funny. I imagine soontheir will be a Hangover 3 when Bradgets re-married and the bachelor party will be in Amsterdam, and the series,still banking, will conclude with a Hangover4 with Zach getting married, which naturally will have to take place atDisneyworld and contain many awkward scenes between Galifinakis and toddlerswhich will lead to the right wing using him as a scapegoat and going for anarrest like he was Jim Morrison in '69 in Miami.

This is where we're headed.

A Serious Movie Man

2011-09-15T17:48:00.002-04:00

I'm so serious about the movie A Serious Man that I'm actually trying to gain a betterunderstanding of quantum mechanics. I'mcertain I've never written anything remotely close to this subject in my entirelife. In fact, my whole history withscience isn't too good.

Going back to Middle School, I nearly failed my scienceproject. I ended up passing with thehelp of Mrs. Domowitz, but testing the sugar in soft drinks was hardlysomething interesting. I had my booth atthe science fair just like everyone else, but had less frequent visitors thanthe "smaht" kids. Thingsdidn't get much better in high school. Though many of the simple dissections were fine along my scientificpath, the big one, the fetal pig dissection went horribly wrong, mostly becausemy partner went Orenthal on the thing … mostly. I believe we ended up with a D+. Biologywas one of two subjects in my life I came close to receiving a "D"in. Naturally, most kids went on to Chemistryfrom there, whereas I resorted to "Environmental Science" with therest of the Gumps. After Chemistry, thereally smart ones went on to Physics. Obviously, I never took that step.

Now mathematics on the other hand I've been pretty goodat. I wasn't getting invites to the Top Guncamp of mathematics by Evan Drake or anything, but I held my own. I often joke that my high school was harderthan my college (which is probably true so not really a joke), but in my lastyear of high school, the majority of us took Pre-Calculus. I knew I'd have to take at least one class inmathematics to satisfy an elective in college, so I figured I should takeCalculus and signed up for it first semester freshman year, despite the factthat Thee University of Tampa only required Basic Algebra, which I hadbasically completed my freshman year of high school.

Calculus is the second class I almost received less than a"C" in. In fact, I nearly andprobably should've failed. During myfirst semester of freshman year, everyone I had met (read: People that lived onmy floor in the dorm) all had lunch at 11, which was the time of my Cal class. At noon, there was nobody to eat with, so Ibasically ended up cutting class more than I should have. This isn't smart in math classes. Before the final, knowing I was close tofailing, I decided I'd have to teach myself Calculus with the help of the largetext book.

The results were mixed, because on the final, I only got 1out of 5 answers correct, which is kind of the point in math classes. If 2+2 doesn't equal 4, you're wrong, it'squite simple. However, I did show gainedknowledge as I showed the work on all 5 problems correctly, and my numbers wereonly off due to the fact that I made some careless mistakes. Not sure why, but this was good enough forthe teacher to give me a "C" for the semester.

This back story in science and math was necessary though toget into the discussion of Schrodinger's Cat, and the film A Serious Man. I loved the movie even before I had aclue what Schrodinger's Cat was. I waslike the Asian kid in the film saying, "I understand the physics, Iunderstand the dead cat" without fully grasping the full theory. After watching it, I started reading somereviews and saw it was based on this theory, with the perfect foreshadowing forthe protagonist being that he's teaching the theory in class as his worldcollapses on him.

Now, if you take the Cat theory in its simplest form, youcan find many parallels in the film from the beginning such as the dybbuk (whomwe really don't know if he's dead or alive because we never see him die) to thevery end with the tornado sequence which though it looks like pending doom, maynot be if they can get that door open and hide. I found many examples throughout the film as well, but then again, I'mmerely taking the "dead cat" part of the theory. Schrodinger's Cat tries to debunk the Copenhagen interpretationof quantum mechanics (yes, I am reading wikipedia as I type this) by statingthe cat is alive AND dead, whereas Shrodinger, like the Physics professorexplaining to the Korean student, it has to be one or the other, it can't beboth. These paradoxes are what make themovie.

My point is, I loved this film so much that I tried to learna physics theory to get a better appreciation of the movie. That's what good films do. Though I don't have a full grasp on the deadcat, the smallest amount of understanding gave me much more insight to thisfilm, rather than it just being a stereotypical story of a Jewish guy worriedabout his money.

Will Tarantino Ever Make Another Pure Drama?

2011-09-12T18:44:00.002-04:00

Maybe the appropriate question is "Should", but myquick answer to that question would be yes, so let me address this one.

When QT (and I use QT not to sound like some douchemovie-hipster who feels like he's boys with a director he's never come close tomeeting and never will, but because it's much easier to write than his full name)broke through with Reservoir Dogs, hewasn't the same director he is today. Like all first timers, he had to prove himself. What he created was his best pure filmbecause at that point, it would've been quite campy to use the gimmicks he usesnowadays. He wanted to prove he couldmake a great crime drama and didn't disappoint. What made his film stand out so well was his dialogue, something he'sbeen great at his entire career. Thegreat dialogue was in fact the "gimmick" but it was so well done itcould hardly be considered as such.

By the time he broke through to the mainstream film fan withPulp Fiction, he had no problems withgimmicky film making. I won't point outthe examples because it's been done to death, but they've become a fixture inall his movies since Dags.

When I made it to the theatre to see Inglorious Basterds (my current, last great movie I ever saw in thetheatre title holder), I thought he may be going for the pure drama again. The conversation between the Frenchman (thecorrect nomenclature because he's French, whereas, is Chinaman still rude evenif the person is from

China

?)and the Jew Hunter is tense and seems like a classic WW2 drama in themaking. I was so excited as immediatelyinto this film I'm thinking, wow, this will be QT's finest piece yet!

Richard Dawson gives me the first strike, as if I answered"Making Whoopy" as something a husband and wife do more the longerthey're married on his game show. TheJew Hunter pulls out that really large pipe and the viewer has no choice but tolaugh. It completely breaks the tension,some Nazi's come into the room, shoot through the floorboards and kill someJews (after that fantastic rat vs. squirrel speech) and it's not nearly asdramatic as it would've been without the pipe. Is QT trying to lessen the blow? Probably not, he's just a sucker for comedy amidst tragedy.

The movie then gets to the next chapter which isn't nearlydramatic, but quite entertaining with Brad Pitt coining the term,"Merican." It's now whenRichard Dawson tosses the next question at my family asking, "Name somethingpeople have in their living room." Well, rug, TV, couch are all on the board already, and my rich Unclesays "VCR" (remember Dawsonis hosting so this is the late 70s).

Damn it you stupid rich Uncle! Not many people have VCR's yet, don't youknow how to play the Feud! In Chapter 2alone, QT creates wrestling heels with Hugo Stiglitz and the "The BearJew." These are fun characters fora QT movie, but all hope for a pure drama is now pretty much lost. Throw in the Hitler character for more comicrelief and there's no choice but to see this film as nothing but a Tarantinomovie, which is both a high compliment, and a put down.

What's good from all of this is that the movie can't reallyundo itself anymore, so when Michael Myers appears, it's not that out ofplace. The scenes between the filmtheatre owner who's surprisingly not Uma Thuman (and thankfully not), and the"heroic" German soldier give the film a great drama, as does theunderground shootout scene and "King Kong" conversation.

When QT decides to use a modern song as the background forpreparation for the theatre massacre …

XXX

… it would've seemedmore out of place than a June bug in a pitcher filled with lemonade (yes, I'velived in the south for nearly 20 years), but due to all of his previoustransgressions, even though its mildly irritating, it's doesn't hurt thefilm. He does what we all want to see,Hitler get shot Sonny Corleone-style and all the Nazi higher ups and richers godown in flames.

Tarantino knows what he's doing. He's living in his world, and his films are aproduct of that world, and it's popcorn entertaining fun for the viewer. He's not trying to be anybody he's not. He may never make a pure drama ever againbecause it may be out of his safety zone (and this will be the reason he won'twin a Best Picture Oscar until well after he's past his prime a la Scorsese),but he's going to probably make many interesting pictures along the way. This will be a blessing and a curse for avery long time.

The Top 95 Songs of 1999

2011-09-08T12:35:00.003-04:00

Long break. Betweenvacay and work acting up, I’ve lost a lot of writing time lately, whichblows. Anyways, my 4 favorite albumsfrom this year, The Soft Bulletin,Summerteeth, Midnight Vultures and Eminem’s debut dominate. Here’s the list:

95. Livin’ La VidaLoca – Ricky Martin

Isn’t it remarkable that this came out the same year as …

94. Mambo No. 5 – LouBega

To all my lady friends who have names in this song, thankyour lucky stars I’ve never actually listened to this before untilrecently. It’s too bad the “Macarena”didn’t come out this same year, or we’d be in some serious business.

93. Smooth – Santanafeat. Robb Thomas

I don’t know how, but in 99 and 2000, this became the mostpopular and overplayed song in the universe. It was great seeing Carlos Santana get all that pub though.

92. St. James InfirmaryBlues – White Stripes

91. Role Model –Eminem

The Slim Shady LP isalmost like a new era’s Licensed toIll. They’re going for the samething, just in different eras. Sure it’smore fun to have three rappers than one, but Eminem’s rapping makes up forit.

90. The Bad Touch –Bloodhound Gang

89. Nomadic Revery –Bonnie “Prince” Billy

88. Pumping on YourStereo – Supergrass

I often make a joke that a song sounds like it should be atthe end of an American Pie movie whenall the friends reunite for a party before the credits role. This is one of those types of songs and waseven in the movie Road Trip.

87. It’s About TwilightNow – My Morning Jacket

86. Writing to ReachYou – Travis

It’s now clearly evident that there are many bands out therethat want to sound like a commercial version of Radiohead, especially in theBritains.

85. Once Around theBlock – Badly Drawn Boy

84. No More – TomPetty

83. Tender – Blur

82. Comedy – Shack

81. Tails Facing Up –Drive-By Truckers

80. I Think I’m Goingto Hell – My Morning Jacket

Nowadays, this song is great, but hearing the originalrecording compared to what it is now, you can tell this song still has a long way to go.

79. Northern Lites –Super Furry Animals

78. Hollywood Freaks– Beck

77. My Fault – Eminem

76. Baylon – DavidGray

75. Nothingsevergonnastandinmyway(Again) – Wilco

74. Big Ego’s – Dr.Dre

73. Rock Bottom –Eminem

Sampling Janis always gets you a place in my heart.

72. Box of Spiders –Drive-By Truckers

71. Steal My Sunshine– Len

One hit wonders are less of a commodity in the late 90s andbeyond, which makes this song more spectacular.

70. Carry the Zero –Built to Spill

69. Guilty Conscience– Eminem

68. Dora Goes To Town– Andrew Bird

I’ve had many winners and losers since I’ve started thisthing. Andrew Bird is a winner.

67. Got Your Money –Old Dirty Bastard

It’s hard for me to judge someone named ODBobjectively.

66. Cold Blooded OldTimes – Smog

I always enjoy when Callahan at least attempts to write afaster paced song. They’re rare.

65. Milk and Honey –Beck

64. One – Aimee Mann

For Magnolia

63. They Ran – MyMorning Jacket

62. The Fabulous Ones– Blackalicious

61. You Don’t Know Me– Armand Van Helden

60. We’re JustFriends – Wilco

59. Debra – Beck

This one is for the chickens.

58. When You Wake UpFeeling Old – Wilco

This sounds like a beautiful Beatles song. The mood swings on this album areincredible.

57. The SpiderbiteSong – Flaming Lips

56. Too Much Sex (TooLittle Jesus) – Drive-By Truckers

I don’t know the lyrics to this song, but the title seemsimpossible.

55. Party Up – DMX

Y’all gonna make me do blankety blank up in here, up inhere.

54. I’m Always inLove – Wilco

53. Buggin’ – FlamingLips

52. Temporarily Blind– Built to Spill

51. Pieholden Suite –Wilco

This is a sneaky good song. I’m either tremendously overrating it, or underrating it.

50. You’re the GoodThings – Modest Mouse

You’re the loud soundof fun when I’m trying to sleep.

49. ELT – Wilco

48. Just Don’t Give aFuck – Eminem

47. I Will Be ThereWhen You Die – My Morning Jacket

46. Peaches and Cream– Beck

45. WillfulSuspension of Disbelief – Modest Mouse

44. Room at the Top –Tom Petty

43. Stop BreakingDown – The White Stripes

Right from the get-go Jack White earns the right to coverthe Stones.

42. Candy Bird –Andrew Bird

41. Cannon – TheWhite Stripes

40. Teenage FBI –Guided By Voices

39. A Spoonful Weighsa Ton – Flaming Lips

What’s great at this point in the Lips career, is they’verealized any early 90s fads that may have been influencing them have faded, andthey make a pure album not caring about whatever trends are going on.

38. Deception –Blackalicious

37. Heartbreakin Man– My Morning Jacket

36. Time Trap – Buildto Spill

35. You Didn’t KnowThat Though – Blackalicious

It’s not what they’d be doing in a couple years with Blazing Arrow, but Gift of Gab hints athow great they can be on this song.

34. Madeline-Mary –Bonnie “Prince” Billy

33. In a Future Age –Wilco

32. Porcelain – Moby

Yes, I only like this song because of its appearance in The Beach, and I don’t know which isworse. It’s like I got lucky, married ayuppie, took her for what she was worth, but then started dating a singer andbecoming a swinger.

31. Still DRE – Dr.Dre

It’s cool hearing Dre and Snoop together again after severalyears.

30. Jimmy theExploder – The White Stripes

Yes, hard rock has basically been dead as a genre untilnow. Jack White in the house and he’sneeded desperately.

29. Nicotine andGravy – Beck

28. The Next Episode– Dr. Dre

27. What Is theLight? – Flaming Lips

26. Via Chicago –Wilco

25. Forgot About Dre– Dr. Dre

It’s almost sad how poorly most Dre ages. Yes Dr. Dre, it was YOU who taught thelistener about smoking trees. Speakingfor potheads everywhere, though I’m not one, I’m pretty sure we lightning upwhen you were still just saying no with NWA because it was giving people braindamage.

24. Astro – The WhiteStripes

Maybe Jesus can do the Astro.

23. Race For the Prize – Flaming Lips

22. She’s a Jar –Wilco

21. A Minor Place –Bonnie “Prince” Billy

20. The Plan – BuiltTo Spill

They’re firing on all cylinders on this one.

19. The Spark thatBled – Flaming Lips

I stood up and I saidyeah.

18. Evelyn Is NotReal – My Morning Jacket

Some bands get the advantage of me seeing them play songslive 10 years after they were some little band that nobody cared about.

17. The Gash –Flaming Lips

16. Else – Built toSpill

I love when these guys put it all together and create one oftheir masterpieces. This is one ofthem.

15. How To FightLoneliness – Wilco

Just smile all thetime

14. The Real SlimShady – Eminem

Every now and then a pop sensation comes out and you have noidea why. Eminem is the opposite ofthat. He also references “mp3” on thissong, so the times are changing.

13. Can’t Stand It –Wilco

Wilco’s country based fans were disappointed with Yankee Hotel Foxtrot when it came outdue to it being a different step for them. You can hear that beginning on Summerteeth,so I’m not sure why they were that surprised.

12. Suddenly EverythingHas Changed – Flaming Lips

11. Sexx Laws – Beck

Beck just keeps on getting better.

10. Night on the Sun– Modest Mouse

Freeze your blood andstab into me …

There’s one thing toknow about this town. There’s not aperson that doesn’t want me underground, and it’s all right.

This is my choice for the best remorseful hangover songever.

9. Bawitdaba – Kid Rock

This song has aged pretty well. It’s hard work liking a Kid Rock song, buthey , Joe C is dead and this song kicks ass.

8. Big Pimpin’ –Jay-Z

I can’t believe I’m ranking an Eminem song better than myfavorite Jay-Z song but the truth is, Eminem’s debut album is light years notjust more energetic and fresh, but simply better than anything Jay-Z has everdone. That being said, everyone loves“Big Pimpin.”

7. Mixed Business –Beck

6. Get Real Paid –Beck

Ultimately this is probably the song that made me loveBeck. I’m sure I heard many songs beforethis of his that I liked, but this is the one that made me realize he wassomething special.

5. You Were Right –Built to Spill

I’m a complete sucker for the gimmick of this song. I don’t see how anyone that listens to musicthat’s greater than 10 years old could not like this song. Sure, the lyrics kind of aren’t theirs, butyet, they completely are.

4. My Name Is –Eminem

It’s hard to call Eminem a gangsta rappa cuz he’s not, eventhough he has a bad attitude. He makesmusic listening better though. It’sgreat to have him.

3. A Shot in the Arm– Wilco

Summerteeth hasevery right as any other Wilco album does when considering their best, and thismay be the best song on it. So nice,they had to put it on the album twice.

2. Waiting ForSuperman – Flaming Lips

For a brief moment on the Flaming Lips best album, they sitback and take this beautiful breath.

1. SuperfreakyMemories – Luna

I wish I could tell people why I loved this song somuch. Sometimes I tend to glamorizesongs about smack even though I have no clue what a heroin buzz is like, nor doI care. I love heroin influenced musicthough, and this is another example, but that has nothing to do with why I lovethis song. When you hear it for thefirst time, it doesn’t sound too spectacular, but then you keep hearing it, andlike watching The Big Lebowski itcontinually gets better.

Ash Tuesday

2011-08-30T20:56:00.000-04:00

I can't believe this day was two weeks ago all of a sudden.

(Remember, most of the beer reviews are actual notes fromwhile we were drinking the beer)

This was our first full day in Asheville. It started with eating out at the Early Girl, then walking around thevillages and eventually reaching the Craggie Brewery …

… and it was closed. Wah Wah. It didn’t open until 4, but I guess that’s what you get for falling inlove. You get a little and it’s neverenough. Fortunately, Asheville Brewingand Pizza was just a couple blocks east, so we found a break from the not quiteFlorida hot August Asheville sun. Sadly,we didn’t get any pictures of this place, which is most likely due to the factwe couldn’t see their brewery. Here’swhat we had on tap:

The Rocket Girl Lager (4) –There are very few lagers I’d rank higher than a 5, so the 4 isn’t so bad. This was a million times better than aBudwieser. Not as good say as a VictoryPrima Pils.

The Ninja Porter (7) – We hadthis at breakfast out of a bottle and it was decent. It tasted like our porter, so we were happywith it, but we’ve had some good porters on this journey thus far (See FoundersPorter). When we had it out of theirtap, it was an entirely different beer … much better than ours L. Possibly themost fun part of this restaurant/brewery was that they had a “Ninja Exit Only”sign right near the vent. That stillmakes me smile.

Escape Artist ESP (6) – It’sfunny reading Angi’s comments versus mine in the book of beer (not to beconfused with a bible).

Angi: Orange highlights,lasting lacing, good body w/ subtle hops – columbus or willemette? Very similar to our Skanky Ginger

Zach: Pretty good beer, kindaskanky.

Shiva IPA (6)

Angi: Golden lemon color w/ lasting lacing, lemony,citrus, nice malt backbone

Zach: Wicked hoppy butgood.

The Fire Escape (3)

This is the spiciest beerI’ve ever had. Without getting intosomething about spicy beers and their affects on first world countries, myview on most is they’re fun to try, could never drink, unless they’re very mildand you only taste them in the aftertaste. Well, this one destroyed my taste buds for awhile. In fact, I even told Angi (who will not drinkspicy beer) that she should watch NoCountry For Old Men before she tries this beer (there’s a lot of dead dogscenes in that, so it would ruin the Coen Brothers for her I’m certain).

Those 5 beers were all oftheir beers on draft, but while I was trying to get my taste buds back afterdrinking fire, Angi ordered the Foothills Brewing Hefewiezen which she liked,but I couldn’t taste unfortunately. Damnyou Fire Escape!!!!! After this, wewalked up to the Jack of the Wood Pub …

Monkey’s Unkel Dunkelweizen(5)

Angi liked this beer to thepoint that when someone else who ordered a beer and was unsure what theywanted, she offered her a sip of this one.

GreenMan ESB (6)

I know it’s only an ESB, butI like it, yes I do. I like it. As that last sentence was my notes, I cantell I’m starting to get buzzed.

Sweet Josie Brown (6)

Sa-weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

From there, we went to TallGary’s Cantina. Though Gary may not havebeen that tall, he had a good cantina going.

This was more of a restaurantthan a beer place, but there were 14 taps so …

Highland Cottail Peak Wheat(6)

Highland is the Budwieser ofAsheville in terms of prestige (not shitty beer). It’s the one beer that actually leavesAsheville to great distances, yet we didn’t end up touring their brewerybecause we’re just not great fans of their beer. It’s not bad, just not really good. This was a good wheat beer which .. wellwait, I didn’t learn my wheat beer lesson yet … yet.

Highland Oatmeal Porter (6)

Angi: Caramel flavordominates with mild chocolate and roasty

Zach: Sadly, we’ve had thisbefore and I’m in the land that time forgot. Good porter though, as long they don’t great white rock me in the publicsquare for having a Highland. Yes, JaniLane died and I’m sad which somehow makes me reference Great White, which iseven more tragic because they killed 100 people. (These are the types of things one writeswhen they are at their 3^rd beer bar and it’s not even eveningyet).

Steve’s Point Black (7)

Angi: Delicious Crème Brulee type aroma/flavor. Light, fluffy foam, creamy, flan type flavor. Dark, yet not heavy.

Zach: Good to the extreme. Possible dessert beer. It’s the kind of beer we’d get in a 22 ozbottle, split and hope to see again in a few months.

By now it was after 4, so wewalked down to Craggie’s.

Toubab Brewe (8)

Not to be confused with the 2Live Crew, this may be the best lager I’ve ever had. In fact, I didn’t even know it was a lageruntil we had it again a couple nights later. Actually, it’s technically a bavarian zwickel, but c’mon. It’s a lager.

“I want to mail myself aletter about it, just so it’s literally something to write home about.”

White Squirrel (7)

No, no, no friends, it wasn’tfruit cocktail mix, vodka, and a 12 back of Bud Light mixed together, but itwas a Belgian Style Orange. It wasnearly as good as the Toubab Brewe.

Antebellum Ale (7)

Angi: 1840’s style AmericanAle. Molasses, Spruce tips and ginger.

Zach: It was pretty good. Not sure how much I could drink though.

Cherry Belafonte (3) (Greatname)

I’ve never really liked anycherry flavoured beers I’ve ever had so …

Angi: Amazing sour cherrybeer

Burning Barrel Belgian Porter(9)

I completely forgot aboutthis beer and immediatley need to have it again. It was aged in a bourbon barrell and had achipotle kick. When I say I don’t likespicy beers, this is the perfect example of how to do it right. You don’t even taste the chipotle whiledrinking it, then all of a sudden say to yourself, “Where’s that spice comingfrom?”

Suddenly, I have this feelingthat I’ll never get to drink this beer again.

Craggie was a big winner onour trip. If the Thirsty Monk wins theaward for Best Bar. Craggie wins theaward for most unique tasting beers. Ireally wanted to go back there (it was a little bit of a walk) and am all of asudden dissapointed we didn’t.

GREEN MAN

I don’t remember this brewerytoo much, and now that I’ve written this day up from notes I see why. We’ve had many beers by this point. I was hoping we’d arrive here and they’d have8 different beers of theirs on draft (nope, no breweries really did, asidefrom the Lab maybe, but they’re at the end).

They only had a few, and only two that had yet to be tried. The Porter(5) which was okay, and a Cask IPA. Idon’t like Cask Conditioned beers. You knowwhy? This comes from brewing. Right before bottling, it’s only natural totaste the beer, which is always warm and uncarbonated at that point. It’s never really good, but sometimes it’sinteresting so you know you’re about to have a good beer. Cask Conditioned beer doesn’t really tasteany different.

From here, we went back to the Thirsty Monk I believe ... it starts getting hazy.

Day 1 of Asheville with a Really Thirsty Monk

2011-08-25T19:51:00.001-04:00

Have you noticed that "The Fresh Prince ofBel-Air" is getting better with age? You even get random Jazzy Jeff sightings, which sadly never occur inBlockbusters like Independence Day orHancock. All they had to do was give Jazz one awesome line in an alien movieand it would've made that movie a million times better and his career. I seem to recall Jazz never really spoke evenwhen he was the DJ, and Will Smith was the rapper though, so maybe it's mute like Terminator X, who speaks with his hands. What does this have to do with Asheville? Nothing really, except this show is one ofthose shows that you'd never watch at home in a million years, but is perfectto have on in the hotel room while you're getting ready in the morning for your days adventure.

Leaving Cincinnati for themountains of North Carolinawas great prospect. We've all seen mountainsand just because it's been awhile for me, I don't need to bore you with thedetails of the sights because I live in a swamp nowadays, but mountains kick the ocean's ass repeatedly.

Enter Asheville.

We had dinner at some place called Uncle Tupelo Honeyor something which is allegedly "world famous." I love that phrase, "world famous" as some small restaurant in a mountain town has been dined in by somedenizens of French Guyana. Basically, ifI haven't heard of it, it's not world famous. The Great Wall of China is world famousas is the Eiffel Tower. I'd say Wayne Gretzkyand Michael Jordan are world famous, and perhaps nobody is as world famous asMuhammed Ali, but the Uncle Tupelo Honey Café, just a great restaurant that'sconstantly loud and crowded. It may havebeen nice to have breakfast there, but when you find a breakfast place that'sincredible (and there are several in Asheville) right next to it that is morepeaceful called, the Early Girl Eatery, that has a pulled pork breakfast bowlwhich goes great with a side of bacon and somehow caters to vegetarians as well,you gotta go for it twice, even if the second time turns out to be louder thanthe Tupelo Honey but with more bathroom space.

My favorite part of Tupelo Honey was the local flights ofbeer. Seeing it was our first place, itseemed like the beer possibilities were plentiful, but had we gone theretowards the back end of the trip, well, we would've tried them all by then. Here's our flight:

(cue Blackalicious' "First in Flight" song forbackground music)

French Broad's GatewayKolsch, which we had tried at our hotel (a free tasting came with the room ontwo beers). French Broad by the way isn't a "sexy lady" beer. It's named after the local river basin, butobviously the jokes can be made aplenty.

Pisgah Pale Ale was really good, but this isn't the time forlocal beer reviews. Over the course ofour trip, we went to 7 different local breweries and 3 more beer houses and hada variety of beers. I'm sure close toall will be reviewed over the next few days ... or a week or so as I initially meant for this to post on Tuesday, and here it is Thursday.

Green Man IPA

French Broad Wee Heavy-er Scotch Ale.

After a nice Wee Heavy-er walk around, we ended up at whatwould become our favorite watering hole, The Thirsty Monk. If you like Belgian Beers, this is the placefor you.

The first beer I had to have wasn't from Belgium at all,it was in fact, from New Belgium, proud makers of the WORLD FAMOUS Fat Tire,and what I hoped would be a great dessert beer with the Abbey Grand Cru. Oh la la. Quite possibly thee perfect dessert beer, and at 9.5% alcohol, it's getsyou started on a lovely evening. Thoughit tastes nothing like the legendary Golden Monkey (it's much sweeter forstarters) it does that same job. Afterbeing bloated off of some seared Tuna, I can now drink beer again. This turned out to be my magical beer of thetrip.

Ordering it wasn't easy though, as I saw that little elftroll like dude that adorns bottles of La Chouffe. My first La Chouffe experience was one of thecrispest beers I've ever had (I love crisp beer more than Crispin Glover) so Iwas excited for this one, called the Houblon which was part IPA, so we savedit for last. Many of these beer placesin Ashevilleserve half pints which if your splitting beer with a loved one, are definitelythe way to go over flights. Both formshowever are what enabled us to try so many beers on our journey without gettingtoo drunk. After Angi finished up herUrthel Saisonnaire, we started half pinting the ones we hadn't had before.

Here's the Saisonnaire: (sadly no picture of the Grand Cru)

Angi loved the Unibroue Ephemere Cassis, which is possiblythe fruitiest beer I've had in my life. The good part is it wasn't too sweet, so it wasn't one of thoseobnoxious fruit beers, but my macho self couldn't drink too much of it. It's probably another good dessert beer. The two below are said Cassis along with the Orville Saison ...

which was apparently brewed at Sierra Nevada, butaside from Sierra Nevada's machinery, they had nothing to do with theprocess. What made it so good was thefact that it tasted so similar to our Saison. I like beers that make me feel like we're doing something right.

These two are the Scotch Silly which I'm most likely too scared to ever drink again and the Weyerbacher Verboten, which had it's own thing going on, like a semi-sweet pale ale. Interesting.

We ended with theunderpants gnome brewery known as La Chouffe and they're Houblon as well as Urthel's Hop-It, which we sadly do not have pictures of. Part of the reason I love Belgian beers isbecause they're rarely hopped out. These were intentionally hoppy (after all they were part IPA). Angi loved'em. I thought the Urthel Hop-It was pretty good because it wasn't too hoppy. La Chouffe? I'll stick with their original crispin gloverbeer that I currently don't know that name of.

After all these beers, we walked upstairs, into their other bar. The American one.

It wouldn't be me without assigning numerical values to all the beers I tried right? Well, here ya go:

New Belgium Abbey Grand Cru (9) - A 10 if your looking for a dessert beer. An 8 if you have it any other time.

Urthel Saisonairre (8)

Ephemere Cassis (6) Just way too fruity for my tastes, but great at doing what it's doing.

Ovila Saison (9)

Weyerbach Verboten (9)

Scotch Silly (5) Like I said, this one scared me.

Urthel Hop-It (7)

Chouffe Houblon (5)

Great Lake Beers

2011-08-22T19:51:00.000-04:00

Beginning with these two photos is probably as good of a place to start as any with our Ohio/Asheville Wedding/Vacation getaway.

These two photos are of our beer fridge at our hotel while staying in Cincinnati (3 for 3 on my are, our, ARRRRRRRRRRR! usage). Now, all of these beers are not from Cincy, but most are regional.

Unfortunately, the best photo from this time was not taken, nor the best comeback delivered. A fun story from Cincy was an errant drive whilst looking for some decent breakfast for a Ron Swanson carnivore like myself, and a Veggie lover like Angi. Driving around some strange roads, looking for something unique in a foreign land, we got caught behind one of Cincinnati's finest cultural elite. Texting while driving we all know is getting out of hand, but here was a first for us.

Ever been caught behind someone at a light who's not proceeding because they're texting? It's quite frustrating, yes? Well Mr. Mercedes (of course it has to be an upper class white guy driving a Mercedes in this case) nearly found a way to hold up two lanes of traffic before a few people tooted and sped past him. Annoying, but this happens too many times nowadays so it's not that unique. However, we somehow got caught up at another light behind this guy, and the same thing happened. This time, the horn was a little louder, and funnier faces were made at him as we rode past his country club stereotype.

When we approached the next light, he pulled up beside me (I was passenger side, but he didn't make me spill my beer), rolled down his window which was met by me rolling down my window (he was richer than me and whiter than me so I wasn't afraid of him naturally) and well ... here's the conversation, as best remembered over a week later ...

Mr. Mercedes: Is there a problem, can I help you with anything?
Me (very condescending and polite): Yes. If you could stop texting and drive when lights turn green, it would really assist with us getting to where we need to be much quicker.
Angi (from behind the wheel): You're not important enough to be texting at lights, trust me ...
Mr. Mercedes (dumbfounded): ... ... (keeps staring at me, trying to look condescending)
Me: (Dilly G style condescending blinks): ...
Mr. Mercedes (rolls up window)

Now it may appear this conversation went as well as any could when something serious like road rage is involved and you have an actual conversation with a dickhead driver. In fact, this is the longest conversation I've ever had with a stranger who's driven poorly. Two things occurred to me after the incident though which would have made this much better:

1. I so so wish I had taken a picture of this guy to put on facebook, or my blog. It would make this story so much better.

2. When he asked me if he could help me with anything, if I responded "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?" I would have been the coolest person in Cincinnati, possibly the entire universe.

Oh well.

In terms of some quick beer reviews from the area:

At a northern Georgia gas station I found a six pack of Fat Tire, which was a very pleasant surprise. Oddly, I wouldn't find this beer again until we made it to Asheville.

Goose Island out of Chicago makes incredible beer. We can't get it down in Florida, but if you can get your hands on that stuff. Go at it.

Beers I can remember drinking in Ohio (but not necessarily from Ohio):

Founder's Red's Rye PA.

I've never been a huge Rye guy but I am now due to this beer and ...

Arcadia Ales Sky High Rye

Angi was waking me up from a pre-wedding nap to help her drink this one in the hotel room. It was worth it. This may be the best rye I've had thus far in life, and the Founder's is probably a close second.

Thirsty Dog's Old Leghumper Robust Porter

Thirsty Dog has great labels and wonderful beer. This was a great porter.

New Holland's Dragon's Milk Stout

Not to be confused with New Belgium (even though I did several times, so this warning is probably just for my own memory) this is one of those beers aged in a Whiskey Barrel, or it's likeness. It was incredible. Fortunately, unbeknownst to me, Angi brought home a big bottle as well, which will be perfect when it gets cold here in ... well, it never really gets cold here, but we'll drink it 'round Xmas time I'm sure.

We also had a few Goose Island beers which were all incredible including the 312; their Summertime and IPA.

I'll hopefully get to the Asheville portion of the trip tomorrow.

The Top 75 Songs of 1998

2011-08-08T07:55:00.000-04:00

There are some new fresh sounds in 1998. I won't drown you with Modest Mouse songs,but I may with Neutral Milk Hotel songs. Fortunately, only one NMH album came out this year (or unfortunatelydepending on how you look at it) so even though they may dominate towards thetop, it won't be anything like what Modest Mouse did between 1996 and1997. Also, the last time I listened toAndrew Bird's Bowl of Fire was many years ago in the wee hours of thenight. What Bird does is transcendent towhat other musicians do, just not sure how rock 'n roll it is. Lastly, the Beastie Boys start rapping againand Hello Nasty is much better than Iremember it. I've always thought of itas their worst album, and maybe it's not. Here's the list:

75. The Dope Show –Marilyn Manson (Industrial)98

What is a long music list without Paul Phieffer from “TheWonder Years.” You wanna diss the Pheiffer but you still don't know the half.

74. Freak on a Leash– Korn (Heavy Metal)98

They were on South Park, so I may as wellrank a song of theirs.

73. Bottle Up andExplode – Elliott Smith (Indie)98

72. Steve McQueen –Drive-By Truckers (Alt-Country)98

They call Arec Barwin a pussy in this song as theyshould. In 1998, he was a completedouche. The fact that he’s re-inventedhimself as a douche is what has made him so likable.

71. Ice Hockey Hair –Super Furry Animals (Britchester)98

70. El President –Drugstore (Indie)98

69. Frozen – Madonna(Electronic)98

Um, this is Madonna and it doesn’t sound cheesy asfuck. It does go on a little too longthough.

68. Getting JiggyWith It – Will Smith (Rap)98

67. Flagpole Sitta –Harvey Danger (Punk)98

66. Love Unlimited –Fun Lovin’ Criminals (Funk)98

65. No Ke Ano Ahiahi– Medeski, Martin & Wood (Instrumental)98

64. Picture This –Beastie Boys (Psychedelic Rock)98

63. My Favorite Game– The Cardigans (Alternative)98

62. Car Radio – Spoon(Indie)98

Spoon continues their early greatness by making good songsabout driving.

61. Can I Get A … -Jay-Z (Rap)98

60. Birds of aFeather – Phish (Jam Rock)98

59. Celebrity Skin –Hole (Distorted)98

58. Goddess on aHiway – Mercury Rev (Britchester)98

57. At My Window Sadand Lonely – Billy Bragg & Wilco (Alt-Country)98

Tweedy wrote much better sad songs before he got famous,which I guess is only natural.

56. Just a Test –Beastie Boys (Rap)98

55. Not If You Werethe Last Junkie On Earth – Dandy Warhols (Alternative)98

54. Gris-Gris –Andrew Bird (Blues)98

Seeing the Bowl of Fire is trying to sound like they're fromthe 20s, they may as well touch on the blues. If someone were to say Andrew Bird is one of the best songwriters ever,I wouldn’t argue. He’s not my favoritedue to his style, but I definitely wouldn’t argue with that, and so few peopleknow who he is.

53. I Don’t Know –Beastie Boys (Slow Rock)98

52. It’s Alright –Jay-Z (Rap)98

Jay-Z has to be the first rapper to sample the TalkingHeads.

51. Waiting in the Velvet Sea– Phish (Slow Rock)98

I’m a sucker for songs that follow the “Let it Be” rockballad path.

50. Nuthinduan Waltz– Andrew Bird (Bluegrass)98

So Bird comes on the scene, dominates music of the pre-rockera, and few people care? I bet everyonewho does care knows their shit musically.

49. Hesitating Beauty– Billy Bragg & Wilco (Alt-Country)98

48. The Fool –Neutral Milk Hotel (Instrumental)98

47. Slave – PercyHill (Jam Rock)98

46. Hard Knock Life –Jay-Z (Rap)98

This kid choir gets annoying after awhile on an otherwisefun song.

45. 50 Pieces –Andrew Bird (Baroque Pop)98

44. All I Need – Air(Electronic)98

This song feels like a wonderful breath of really clean …well … air.

43. Limb by Limb –Phish (Jam Rock)98

This song has aged pretty well for Phish to the point I’dkinda like to see it live if I were to see them again.

42. Chrissy Reid –Percy Hill (Jam Rock)98

41. Canceled Check –Beck (Alt-Country)98

40. La Femme D’Argent– Air (Electronic)98

39. Wifebeater –Drive-By Truckers (Alt-Country)98

The subject matter is a little dark, but these guys know howto do country, which is considered alt-country because everyone who doescountry pretty much sucks.

38. Sweet Adeline –Elliott Smith (Indie)98

37. One By One –Billy Bragg and Wilco (Alt-country)98

36. 313 – Percy Hill(Smooth Rock)98

So I basically missed out on some smooth ass hippie band inthe late 90s due to Phish overload? Sucks. These guys are much betterthan I thought they were.

35. Holes – MercuryRev (Britchester)98

Australians are British.

34. The Cedar Room –Doves (Indie)98

33. DemonicPossession – Drive By Truckers (Alt-Country)98

32. Utilitarian –Spoon (Indie)98

31. Independence Day– Elliott Smith (Indie)98

30. Unite – BeastieBoys (Rap)98

A forgotten song, but the B-Boys are again firing on allcylinders.

29. Rosa Parks –Outkast (Rap)98

28. Ghost – NeutralMilk Hotel (Indie)98

27. Neverending MathEquation – Modest Mouse (Indie)98

26. The Move –Beastie Boys (Rap)98

25. Nobody’s FaultBut My Own – Beck (Psychedelic Rock)98

24. Church of Logic– Medeski, Martin & Wood (Instrumental)98

It’d be great to jam with these guys just so I’d have theopportunity to watch them all go crazy while I just sit there with a stunnedexpression on my face as I have no chance of keeping up. TheDropper is coming in 2000 and I can’t wait.

23. CommunistDaughter – Neutral Milk Hotel (Indie)98

Semen stains themountain tops

22. Metal Detektor –Spoon (Indie)98

This is my first great Spoon song. They’ve finally put it all together and havedone a little more than a fragment of a song.

21. Guyute – Phish(Progressive Rock)98

20. Tropicalia – Beck(World)98

This is a Coolidge house spectacular.

19. Pure Morning –Placebo (Britchester)98

A friend in need is afriend indeed, a friend with weed is better.

18. Bottle of Blues –Beck (Alt-Country)98

17. Two Headed Boy –Neutral Milk Hotel (Indie)98

16. Ghetto Superstar– Pras (Rap)98

Here’s another great example of getting a member of Wu-Tangto make a good song great.

15. Sugarcraft –Medeski, Martin and Wood (Instrumental)98

14. Body Movin –Beastie Boys (Rap)98

13. Grey Ice Water –Modest Mouse (Indie)98

Grey ice water, desolate Alaska,the more desolate Antarctica, and even moredesolate moon are the heart of Modest Mouse which loses it’s deserteddesperateness after the year 2000.

12. Cold Brains –Beck (Alt-Country)98

On Mutations, Beckstarts making a more “normal” form of music and most of it is fantastic. Beck proves he can do alt-country with thebest of them.

11. Untitled –Neutral Milk Hotel (Instrumental)98

When this song happens, it brings an elation that remindsyou this is one of the greatest albums of all-time.

10. Ghost – Phish(Jam Rock)98

Though this song is textured as great as any Phish song,they can jam this one out for a long time and it always seems to be good.

9. Negotiation Limerick File – Beastie Boys (Rap)98

I know this isn’t one of their biggest hits from Hello Nasty but somehow it reminds me ofthe summer of 1998 more than any other song from that year.

8. Holland, 1945 – Neutral Milk Hotel (Indie)98

Almost every song on this album is a classic. This may be its truest rock song.

7. Super Disco Breakin’– Beastie Boys (Rap)98

After the 4 year layoff after Ill Communication, the B-Boys come out rappin’ like it was 1989 allover again.

6. California Stars – Billy Bragg & Wilco(Alt-Country)98

This is another one of those songs that I can’t imaginesomeone not liking.

5. Intergalactic –Beastie Boys (Rap)98

4. Minor Stab –Andrew Bird (Jazz)98

This song just blew me away. I believe it’s six people and it sounds like 30. It’s hard to say other songs are better thanthis but …

3. The King of CarrotFlowers Parts 2 & 3 – Neutral Milk Hotel (Indie)98

2. The King of CarrotFlowers Part 1 – Neutral Milk Hotel (Indie)98

Here’s an instance where I wish the Hotel would have madethis one song rather than break it up. Maybe that would’ve been a little too proggy though.

1. In the Aeroplaneover the Sea – Neutral Milk Hotel (Indie)98

It took me until 2005 to hear this song for my first timeand it’s a shame it took that long. Iwish I heard this song at birth just so I would have known it for 36years.

The Top 10 Best Supporting Actor Roles

2011-08-04T17:32:00.002-04:00

10. Karl Malden as"Father Barry" in On theWaterfront

He's my first "favorite supporting actor" with hisroles in this one and of course, AStreetcar Named Desire.

9. Alec Guiness as”Prince Faisel" in Lawrence of Arabia

Yes, it's slow, but the highlights of this movie includeevery time he's on screen.

8. Javier Bardem as"Anton Chighur" in No CountryFor Old Men

He barely talks but when he does he spouts a beautifulpsychotic wisdom. I've never seen him inany other movie though, which I find strange because when I see him, all I seeis this psychotic character. It's kindof like when I see Jason Alexander all I see is "Costanza."

7. Steve Buscemi as"Mr. Pink" in Reservoir Dogs

I didn't know who any of these actors were when I saw thismovie. As much as I love Harvey Kietel,who's more of a lead actor in this one, and Mr. Blonde, who's the comic relief,Mr. Pink is the biggest bright spot in a movie full of them.

6. R. Lee Ermey as"Sgt. Hartman" in Full MetalJacket

It's true to a degree that the training camp portion of thisfilm is an A+, whereas the rest of the movie pales in comparison. I love the second half, but Ermey'sperformance is so wonderful it'd be hard for just about any film to reach thatpeak. How many drill sergeants in otherstories are modeled after this guy?

5. Heath Ledger as"The Joker" in The Dark Knight

Two people I've talked about way too much on my blog ormaybe just in real life are this character and those famous two played byDaniel Day-Lewis. What's left to say? How about … Top 5 Lines said by The Joker in The Dark Knight

5. Scar Story #2: "Come here. Hey! Look at me. So I had a wife,beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry too much. Who tells me I ought to smilemore. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks... Look at me! One day, theycarve her face. And we have no money for surgeries. She can't take it. I justwant to see her smile again, hm? I just want her to know that I don't careabout the scars. So... I stick a razor in my mouth and do this to myself. Andyou know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funnyside. Now I'm always smiling!"

4. " If, tomorrow, I tell thepress that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers willbe blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan." Butwhen I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses theirminds!"

3. "You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is alittle push!"

2. "Do I really look like a guy with a plan?"

1. Scar Story #1: "Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was...a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommygets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not-one-bit. So- me watching - he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it! Turns tome, and he says, "why so serious, son?" Comes at me with the knife..."Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth... "Let's puta smile on that face!""

4. Robert DeNiro as"Vito Corleone" in TheGodfather Part II

Instead of TheGodfather Part III, something that would've been great, maybe in the late70s or early 80s would've been a Godfatherprequel. Pick up DeNiro's"Vito" character as he rises to power and let him dominate for amovie, rather than get shot several times in the back and lay in a bed most ofthe film. Obviously if this was done todayit'd be pretty bad.

3. Marlon Brando as"General Kurtz" in ApocalypseNow

Though I usually fall asleep before he appears in the movie,it's a new level of fun when he does, well, except the cow slaughtering. It's funny, of all the violent stuff thathappens in this film, it's the cow slaughtering that's too much for me. By the late 70s though, "supportingactor" was the best way to use a suddenly aging Brando.

2. Joe Pesci as"Tommy" in Goodfellas

Obviously, the clown speech is the highlight so …

Henry: You're a pistol!You're really funny. You're really funny!

Tommy: What do youmean I'm funny?

Henry: It's funny,you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy!

Tommy: [dangerously]What do you mean? You mean the way I talk?

[Everyone becomes quiet]

Henry: It's just, youknow, you're just funny. It's funny, the way you tell the story and everything.

Tommy: Funny how?What's funny about it?

Anthony: Tommy, no,you got it all wrong —

Tommy: Oh, no,Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. [to Henry] What did yasay? Funny how?

Henry: Just —

Tommy: What?

Henry: Just, ya know,you're funny.

Tommy: You mean, letme understand this, 'cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked upmaybe, but I'm funny how? I mean funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? Imake you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funnyhow? How am I funny?

Henry: Just... youknow, how you tell the story, y'know —

Tommy: No, no, I don'tknow. You said it! How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am Ifunny? What the fuck is so funny about me?! Tell me, tellme what's funny!

[Long pause]

Henry: Get the fuckout of here, Tommy!

[Everyone laughs]

Tommy: Yamotherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him! You stuttering prick,you! Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may foldunder questioning.

1. Robert Duvall as "Lt. Col.Bill Kilgore" in Apocalypse Now

The four things that need to come into place for a great supportingacting performance are great acting, fun characters, phenomenal lines, and itreally helps to appear in a classic movie. If you review this list, pretty much every character adheres to thisformula. The Granddaddy of them all isDuvall. Though he's been great sometimesas a lead actor, (that one movie where he killed that guy with a baseball bat …The Apostle … was pretty good forinstance) he's better when someone else is taking the lead, even if he's a muchbetter actor than that person, as he is much better than Martin Sheen in this,hell, he's even better than Brando in this one. If there indeed was a "Best Supporting Actor Hall of Fame",he'd be the best nominee and it may as well named after him.

Here's the first 10 people I'd put in order of their relevance:

Lee J. Cobb

Karl Malden

Alec Guiness

Robert Duvall

Joe Pesci

John Turturro

Steve Buscemi

Philip Seymour Hoffman (even though he didn't qualify forthis list)

William H. Macy

Benicio Del Toro

Best Supporting Actors (30-11)

2011-08-03T19:13:00.002-04:00

30. Robert DeNiro as"Johnny Boy" in Mean Streets

DeNiro played a punk better than any of his mafia roles(aside from The Godfather Part 2). Of course, he was much younger then.

29. Paul Dano as"Eli Sunday" in There Will BeBlood

For someone who barely spoke a word and had a little bit ofa "Punch Him the Face Factor" going on in Little Miss Sunshine, he turned in a fantastic performance as theevil preacher here.

28. Robin Williams as"Sean Maguire" in Good WillHunting

For a film that's aged pretty poorly, Robin Williams'performance is the only thing keeping it relevant, well, that and the funnychowder accents.

27. Tommy Lee Jonesas "Deputy Garrard" in TheFugitive

This is an example of a great movie that wouldn't be good atall without his performance. After all,who hasn't cornered someone over a huge dam and when they declared theirinnocence you've stared them right in the face and said, "I don'tcare!"

26. Pat Morita as"Mr. Miyagi" in The Karate Kid

It's too bad the series never reached a point where LaRussoturned evil and had to square off against Miyagi who proceeded to whoop his assand give a round of high fives to the Cobra Kai.

25. Lee J. Cobb as"Juror #3" in 12 Angry Men

If you ever want to see my view of today's Republican, watchhis performance in this film.

24. William H. Macyas "Jerry Lundergaard" in Fargo

Here's my third nomination for the Supporting Actor Hall ofFame (in fact, I'll stop this Hall of Fame game now and just make a list at theend of this list). Macy can play manyroles, but playing a weasel always seems to suit him best.

23. Burgess Meredithas "Mickey" in Rocky

Whenever I picture a boxing trainer, I will always pictureBurgess Meredith. That's how iconic hisrole in the Rocky films was.

22. Robert Downey Jr.as "Kirk Lazarus" in TropicThunder

When I was a kid, I saw an episode of Gimme a Break in which Joey Lawrence painted himself black at somekind of talent show to try to fit in and the response on the show was as ifhe'd killed the Ronald Reagan (not funny in front of Nel). Years later, in a much different context, theidea of a white person making their skin black to play a character ishysterical. You gotta love fathertime. Hmm, time is a dad and nature is amother (cue sparkling sounds).

21. Ian McKellan as"Gandolf" in The Lord of TheRings

He deserves a high ranking simply for "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Without Gandolf, we'd all be living under theharsh conditions of that evil eye right now.

20. Alec Guiness as"OB1-Kenobi" in Star Wars

If I ever wanted someone to give me an inspirational speechas I prepare for the after-life, it's either OB1 or Gandolf.

19. Christoph Waltzas "The Jew Hunter" in IngloriousBasterds

Never have I been so impressed with a man's pipe (ha – ha –ha – ha). Well, aside from the glassones some of my Phish-head friends may have carried in the 90s. Remember that hippie that had that glassblown pipe shaped like a dragon? Dideveryone know someone like that?

18. Benicio Del Toroas "Javier Rodriguez Rodriguez" in Traffic

This makes two for Del Toro and I didn't include his roll asFreddy Four Fingers from Snatch. I was pissed when he died because he wouldn’tbe in that movie anymore. It's like, saythey killed Bill the Butcher in the opening scene of Gangs of New York and we were left with Liam Neeson the wholetime. That would suck.

17. Danny Aiello as"Sal" in Do the Right Thing

He's incredible in the role of the pizzeria owner. It's his right to put whoever he wants on hiswalls, but he learned as many have, that white people should just never eversay the "N" word. It's reallynot that hard, and would it have killed him to put Mookie Wilson on the wall?

16. Gary Sinise as "Lt. Dan" in Forrest Gump

I don't like Gary Sinise because he's really not that goodof an actor but was fortunate enough to get this role, and nail it. I do love Lt. Dan … but you ain't go no legs Lt. Dan!

15. ChristopherWalken as "Nick" in The DeerHunter

He may have turned into a comedian in his later years, butin the late 70s, he was one hell of an actor. Two people from this film make this list which means I probably shouldwatch it again. I'm not even countingMeryl Streep. In fact, there are nowomen on my list which is probably either really sexist or because I'm doing adifferent list for actresses in the future. You decide.

14. Robert Duvall as"Tom Haggen" in The GodfatherParts 1 & 2

It's too bad he wasn't blood because he really would've madethe best Don after Vito died because it was all business with him and neverpersonal, but he never was a war time consigliere though, and that was my firsttime ever spelling "consigliere" correctly even though Microsoft Wordis telling me otherwise. +3 for me forusing three conjunctions in one sentence whether that sentence is good or not.

13. Joe Pesci as"Joey" in Raging Bull

A perfect recipe for a movie is Scorsese directing a buddypicture with Pesci and DeNiro. I can'tbelieve one hasn't been made since 1995 with the way movies are today (wow,what a grumpy old man moment that was). How about a new movie with this combination and make a rival villainDaniel Day-Lewis? It'd probably sucksomehow but would be loads of fun.

12. John Goodman as"Walter Sobchak" in The BigLebowski

Granted everyone in this movie is a character of some sorts,but it's Walter that keeps this story rolling along, or however you’d deem thepace of this movie going forward.

11. Al Pacino as"Michael Corleone" in TheGodfather

Pacino is fantastic in this one, especially when he's stillinnocent and peaks when he gives his "I'll kill'em both" speech. He may be lead here though, and someone maynot like that.

More Supporting Actors (40-31)

2011-08-03T12:22:00.003-04:00

40. Steven Bauer as "Manny" in Scarface

He's acting better than Pacino in this movie, but he's obviously not as fun. If there was ever a competition as to who could say "mang" the best, he'd probably win.

39. John Cazale as "Stan" in The Deer Hunter

As if this movie wasn’t depressing enough, Cazale was dying of cancer while shooting this film. He also deserves credit for "Fredo" in the Godfather movies, but I seriously have something like 5 characters on this list from those two movies so I don't want them to dominate too much.

38. Vince Vaughn as "Trent" in Swingers

I'm pretty sure most men my age, and hell, even most women have quoted Trent from this movie. Do you want to kill him? Of course you do, but that's what makes the role so fun.

37. Tom Cruise as "TJ Mackey" in Magnolia

Cruise should team up with Paul Anderson more often. Cruise always plays roles that are supposed to be cocky but likable characters, here he plays a cocky detestable character that you sort of end up having an emotional attachment to. I don't think I've ever had an emotional attachment to Cruise in a movie, in fact, I usually cheer against him.

36. Steve Buscemi as "Carl Showalter" in Fargo

Here's another nominee for my Supporting Actor Hall of Fame. Every time he has a conversation with William H. Macy in this film it's immaculate.

35. Brad Pitt as "Mickey" in Snatch

This may have been the Brad Pitt role that converted me from being a hater. The difference between he and say, Tom Cruise, is that he actually plays characters whereas Cruise plays himself.

34. Harvey Kietel as "The Wolf" in Pulp Fiction

His role may not have been that big, but when he's on this screen it's a lot of fun. Of course, almost this entire movie is a lot of fun.

33. Burt Reynolds as "Jack Horner" in Boogie Nights

Before this film, Reynolds' career was pretty stagnant. Gone was the moustached guy from fast car movies of the late 70s and early 80s. I can't think of a better way for him to make a comeback than an adult movie director, especially a classy one.

32. Mark Whalberg as "Dingman" in The Departed

It's crazy that Markie Mark has found at least two great roles (the other being Dirk Diggler) in his career.

31. James Caan as "Sonny" in The Godfather

Caan isn't the greatest actor but he came to play in this film. If he wasn't outshined by some of the greatest actors ever here, he may have won an award and probably not had to do that Rollerball movie.

Top 50 Best Supporting Acting Roles

2011-08-01T18:22:00.003-04:00

50. Ed Norton as"Worm" in Rounders

He plays a great degenerate. Why I picked this supportingrole over his role in a movie like PrimalFear? If you could watch Rounders or Primal Fear, who the hell would chose Primal Fear? Don't answerthat ladies.

49. Robert DeNiro as"Jimmy Conway" in Goodfellas

This is one of DeNiro's most fun and imitated roles, but ithas also become one of those caricature type roles for him due to so muchimitation. There's a reason DeNirodoesn't really play gangsters any more.

48. Josh Brolin as"Llewlyn Moss" in No CountryFor Old Men

There's nothing like the older kid from The Goonies becoming a great actor as an adult. This role was perfect for him.

47. Russell Crowe as"Bud White" in L.A. Confidential

Russell Crowe, like many forms of art, was fantastic untilhe became popular.

46. Joaquin Phoenixas "Commodus" in Gladiator

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil.

45. James Woods as"Max" in Once Upon a Time in America

I'm a little disappointed with the way his film career hasdissipated. I've never seen him in anyrole where he didn't make a film better, and that's saying something forsomeone who usually plays characters you're supposed to hate.

44. Benecio Del Toroas "Dr. Gonzo" in Fear andLoathing in Las Vegas

When you make Hunter S. Thompson look like the rationalsober guy, you're pretty fucked up.

43. John Turturro as"Pete" in O Brother, Where ArtThou?

If I was to create a supporting actor Hall of Fame, Turturromay be my first nomination. This is theonly time he'll appear on this list, but he also deserves credit for beingJesus in The Big Lebowski (not bigenough of a part to be a supporting actor); Pino in Do the Right Thing; Bernie in Miller'sCrossing; Knish in Rounders; andof course the special agent in the Transformerseries … okay, maybe not the last one.

42. Tim Robbins as"Nick Laloosh" in Bull Durham

I've never done a fun-loving douchebag list, but thischaracter would be tops. What strikes meas strange is that Tiger Woods cheats on his wife and the world crucifies himbut baseball players do it all the time and it's part of the persona.

41. Michael V. Gazzoas "Frank Pantangeli" in TheGodfather Part II

It's probably not much of a stretch for an old Italian toplay the role of an old Italian, but it's impossible not to love Frankie andhis naturally hoarse voice.

40. Steven Bauer as"Manny" in Scarface

He's acting is better than Pacino in this movie, but he's obviouslynot as fun. If there was ever acompetition as to who could say "mang" the best, he'd probablywin.

39. John Cazale as"Stan" in The Deer Hunter

As if this movie wasn’t depressing enough, Cazale was dyingof cancer while shooting this film. Healso deserves credit for "Fredo" in the Godfather movies, but I seriously have something like 5 characterson this list from those two movies so I don't want them to dominate toomuch.

38. Vince Vaughn as"Trent"in Swingers

I'm pretty sure most men my age, and hell, even most womenhave quoted Trentfrom this movie. Do you want to killhim? Of course you do, but that's whatmakes the role so fun.

37. Tom Cruise as"TJ Mackey" in Magnolia

Cruise should team up with Paul Anderson more often. Cruise always plays roles that are supposedto be cocky but likable characters, here he plays a cocky detestable characterthat you sort of end up having an emotional attachment to. I don't think I've ever had an emotional attachmentto Cruise in a movie, in fact, I'm usually cheer against him.

36. Steve Buscemi as"Carl Showalter" in Fargo

Here's another nominee for my Supporting Actor Hall ofFame. Every time he has a conversationwith William H. Macy in this film it's immaculate.

35. Brad Pitt as"Mickey" in Snatch

This may have been the Brad Pitt role that converted me frombeing a hater. The difference between heand say, Tom Cruise, is that he actually plays characters whereas Cruise playshimself.

34. Harvey Kietel as"The Wolf" in Pulp Fiction

His role may not have been that big, but when he's on thisscreen it's a lot of fun. Of course,almost this entire movie is a lot of fun.

33. Burt Reynolds as"Jack Horner" in Boogie Nights

Before this film, Reynolds' career was pretty stagnant. Gone was the moustached guy from fast carmovies of the late 70s and early 80s. Ican't think of a better way for him to make a comeback than an adult moviedirector, especially a classy one.

32. Mark Whalberg as"Dingman" in The Departed

It's crazy that Markie Mark has found at least two greatroles (the other being Dirk Diggler) in his career.

31. James Caan as"Sonny" in The Godfather

Caan isn't the greatest actor but he came to play in thisfilm. If he wasn't outshined by some ofthe greatest actors ever here, he may have won an award and probably not had todo that Rollerball movie.

30. Robert DeNiro as"Johnny Boy" in Mean Streets

DeNiro played a punk better than any of his mafia roles(aside from The Godfather Part 2). Of course, he was much younger then.

29. Paul Dano as"Eli Sunday" in There Will BeBlood

For someone who barely spoke a word and had a little bit ofa "Punch Him the Face Factor" going on in Little Miss Sunshine, he turned in a fantastic performance as theevil preacher here.

28. Robin Williams as"Sean Maguire" in Good WillHunting

For a film that's aged pretty poorly, Robin Williams'performance is the only thing keeping it relevant, well, that and the funnychowder accents.

27. Tommy Lee Jonesas "Deputy Garrard" in TheFugitive

26. Pat Morita as"Mr. Miyagi" in The Karate Kid

It's too bad the series never reached a point where LaRussoturned evil and had to square off against Miyagi who proceeded to whoop his assand give a round of high fives to the Cobra Kai.

25. Lee J. Cobb as"Juror #3" in 12 Angry Men

If you ever want to see my view of today's Republican, watchhis performance in this film.

24. William H. Macyas "Jerry Lundergaard" in Fargo

23. Burgess Meredithas "Mickey" in Rocky

Whenever I picture a boxing trainer, I will always pictureBurgess Meredith. That's how iconic hisrole in the Rocky films was.

22. Robert Downey Jr.as "Kirk Lazarus" in TropicThunder

21. Ian McKellan as"Gandolf" in The Lord of TheRings

He deserves a high ranking simply for "YOU SHALL NOTPASS!" Without Gandolf, we'd all beliving under the harsh conditions of that evil eye right now.

20. Alec Guiness as"OB1-Kenobi" in Star Wars

If I ever wanted someone to give me an inspirational speechas I prepare for the after-life, it's either OB1 or Gandolf.

19. Christoph Waltzas "The Jew Hunter" in IngloriousBasterds

18. Benicio Del Toroas "Javier Rodriguez Rodriguez" in Traffic

17. Danny Aiello as"Sal" in Do the Right Thing

16. Gary Sinise as "Lt. Dan" in Forrest Gump

I don't like Gary Sinise because he's really not that goodof an actor but was fortunate enough to get this role, and nail it. I do love Lt. Dan … but you ain't go no legs Lt. Dan!

15. ChristopherWalken as "Nick" in The DeerHunter

He may have turned into a comedian in his later years, butin the late 70s, he was one hell of an actor. Two people from this film make this list which means I probably should watchit again. I'm not even counting MerylStreep. In fact, there are no women onmy list which is probably either really sexist or because I'm doing a differentlist for actresses in the future. Youdecide.

14. Robert Duvall as"Tom Haggen" in The GodfatherParts 1 & 2

13. Joe Pesci as"Joey" in Raging Bull

12. John Goodman as"Walter Sobchak" in The BigLebowski

Granted everyone in this movie is a character of some sorts,but it's Walter that keeps this story rolling along, or however you’d deem thepace of this movie going forward.

11. Al Pacino as"Michael Corleone" in TheGodfather

Pacino is fantastic in this one, especially when he's stillinnocent and peaks when he gives his "I'll kill'em both" speech. He may be lead here though, and someone maynot like that.

10. Karl Malden as"Father Barry" in On theWaterfront

He's my first "favorite supporting actor" with hisroles in this one and of course, AStreetcar Named Desire.

9. Alec Guiness as”Prince Faisel" in Lawrence of Arabia

Yes, it's slow, but the highlights of this movie includeevery time he's on screen.

8. Javier Bardem as"Anton Chighur" in No CountryFor Old Men

7. Steve Buscemi as"Mr. Pink" in Reservoir Dogs

6. R. Lee Ermey as"Sgt. Hartman" in Full MetalJacket

5. Heath Ledger as"The Joker" in The Dark Knight

3. "You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is alittle push!"

2. "Do I really look like a guy with a plan?"

4. Robert DeNiro as"Vito Corleone" in TheGodfather Part II

3. Marlon Brando as"General Kurtz" in ApocalypseNow

2. Joe Pesci as"Tommy" in Goodfellas

Obviously, the clown speech is the highlight so …

Henry: You're a pistol!You're really funny. You're really funny!

Tommy: What do youmean I'm funny?

Henry: It's funny,you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy!

Tommy: [dangerously]What do you mean? You mean the way I talk?

[Everyone becomes quiet]

Henry: It's just, youknow, you're just funny. It's funny, the way you tell the story and everything.

Tommy: Funny how?What's funny about it?

Anthony: Tommy, no,you got it all wrong —

Tommy: Oh, no,Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. [to Henry] What did yasay? Funny how?

Henry: Just —

Tommy: What?

Henry: Just, ya know,you're funny.

Henry: Just... youknow, how you tell the story, y'know —

Tommy: No, no, I don'tknow. You said it! How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am Ifunny? What the fuck is so funny about me?! Tell me, tellme what's funny!

[Long pause]

Henry: Get the fuckout of here, Tommy!

[Everyone laughs]

Tommy: Yamotherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him! You stuttering prick,you! Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may foldunder questioning.

1. Robert Duvall as "Lt. Col.Bill Kilgore" in Apocalypse Now

Here's the first 10 people I'd put in order of their relevance:

Lee J. Cobb

Karl Malden

Alec Guiness

Robert Duvall

Joe Pesci

John Turturro

Steve Buscemi

Philip Seymour Hoffman (even though he didn't qualify forthis list)

William H. Macy

Benicio Del Toro

The Top 75 Songs of 1997

2011-07-28T17:29:00.000-04:00

1997 is going to be Modest Mouse vs. Radiohead in a mannersimilar to Nirvana vs. Pearl Jam in early 90s, except the early 90s were a muchbetter time for music than the mid to late 90s. In fact, now that I've completed this list, I almost feel like anapology is necessary for all the Modest Mouse … wait a minute. What would Isaac do? He doesn't strike me as the type of guy whowould apologize or explain himself. Thefact of the matter is, between the years 1996 and 1997, when they firststarted, they released around 50 songs, most of which are good and many areindeed great. These were Isaac's primesong writing years. Radiohead on theother hand released what many believe to be their best album. Does Radiohead rock like Modest Mouse? Well …

75. Tubthumping –Chumbawumba (Pop Rock)97

It’s a fun song. Ihave no choice ranking it even though it probably set back being Irish morethan Gangs of New York.

74. StockholmSyndrome – Yo La Teng (Indie)97

73. Cupid’s Trick –Elliott Smith (Indie)97

72. Waving My Dick inthe Wind – Ween (Bluegrass)97

71. No Surprises –Radiohead (Britchester)97

70. Rose Parade –Elliott Smith (Indie)97

69. Heart Cooks Brain– Modest Mouse (Indie)97

68. Ain’t Than Enough– Teenage Fanclub (Indie)97

67. Super Bon Bon –Soul Coughing (Distorted)97

This sounds like more Anthony Kiedis inspired music. I’m sure there’s more to the Soul Coughingstory than this though.

66. Good Riddance(Time of Your Life) – Green Day (Pop Rock)97

65. Blood Red Bird –Smog (Indie)97

64. Into My Arms – Nick Cave(Piano Ballad)97

Love many of his songs, still don’t understand himcompletely.

63. Sunshine – Jay-Z(Rap)97

62. Styrofoam Boots –Modest Mouse (Indie)97

Now I get on bands for separating tracks every now and then,and here’s an example of the opposite. As soon as the drums come in I suppose this turns into “It’s All Nice OnIce” which is terrible, whereas the lyrics to “Styrofoam Boots” arewonderful.

61. Help the Aged –Pulp (Britchester)97

60. Out of Site –Built to Spill (Indie)97

59. I Know What GirlsLike – Jay-Z (Rap)97

Jay-Z finds a perfect balance between not being obnoxiousgangsta rap and still having the edge of the time.

58. Tall Boy –Widespread Panic (Jam Rock)97

57. I Would Hurt aFly – Built to Spill (Indie)97

56. One PM Again – YoLa Tengo (Alt-Country)97

55. The Mollusk –Ween (Psychedelic Rock)97

54. Jesus Christ Wasan Only Child – Modest Mouse (Indie)97

53. Little Honda – YoLa Tengo (Indie)97

52. Risingson –Massive Attack (Trance)97

I don’t know how much I like these guys, but I always lovetheir sound effect button on the keyboard.

51. I Was A Stranger– Smog (Alt-Country)97

50. Action Satisfaction– Jurassic Five (Rap)97

If these guys came out a couple years earlier, the goldenage of hip hop may have been saved. Instead, we’re given what my friend Bez once referred to me as “BackpackRap”, which I imagine means rap that doesn’t beat women and shoot otherrappers.

49. A Life of ArticSounds – Modest Mouse (Indie)97

1100 Miles is too farinside a car. Actually, Isaac should’ve stopped well before then, butthat’s what makes his desperation so beautiful.

48. Angeles – ElliottSmith (Folk)97

The film based on the book Into the Wild would’ve been much better if they went with anElliott Smith soundtrack rather than Eddie Vedder.

47. I’ll Be YourJohnny on the Spot – Ween (Distorted)97

46. Amputations –Death Cab For Cutie (Indie)97

I love the way these guys, B2S and the Mouse use artificialharmonics.

45. Speed Trials –Elliott Smith (Indie)97

44. In the Flesh –Jurassic Five (Rap)97

43. OceanMan – Ween (Indie)97

42. Radio Child –Widespread Panic (Jam Rock)97

Widespread is so unaware of the times, yet produce one hellof a funky hippie song. What I likeabout Widespread so much is that they’ve never cared about what’s happening inthe current music environment, they just do their thing like good southerners.

41. Randy DescribedEternity – Built to Spill (Indie)97

40. Staring at theSun – U2 (Alternative)97

Did U2 go dark in the late 90s? Not that I have many music related recollectionsfrom this era, but I don’t remember U2 being popular at all, whereas I knowthey were again once the new millennium hit.

39. The Drugs Don’tWork – The Verve (Slow Rock)97

38. Spin Spin Sugar –Sneaker Pimps (Electronic)97

I’m pretty sure this isn’t the version I grew up with, but Iread a little, and of course there was a remix. It's amazing how many times I know the remix of non-rock songs ratherthan the original.

37. ConvenientParking – Modest Mouse (Indie)97

36. Lucky – Radiohead(Britchester)97

35. The Distorted –Cake (Distorted)97

34. The Rain – MissyElliott (Rap)97

I didn’t know Missy went back this far. I’m pretty sure she’s the best female rapperof all-time, that is, unless you consider Yeastie Girl #2.

33. Summer – ModestMouse (Indie)97

32. Jayou – JurassicFive (Rap)97

31. Hypnotize –Notorious B.I.G. (Rap)97

I could be part of a small school that likes Biggie due tohearing him remixed by Girl Talk.

30. President ofWhat? – Death Cab For Cutie (Indie)97

Death Cab’s abbreviation is DCFC, whereas AC/DC’sabbreviation is ACDC.

29. Song 2 – Blur(Britchester)97

28. Between the Bars– Elliott Smith (Folk)97

27. Miss Misery –Elliott Smith (Indie)97

“Let’s go to a Hav-ahd bah and beat up some smahtkids!”

26. Mutilated Lips –Ween (Psychedelic Rock)97

25. Lounge (ClosingTime) – Modest Mouse (Indie)97

24. Le Pastie De LaBourgeoisie – Belle and Sebastian (Indie)97

23. Your Woman – White Town(Electronic)97

22. Hey Country Boy –The Charlatans (Britchester)97

I’m officially a Charlatans fan, meaning any time I’m inpublic or private, and someone disses them, I have to defend them. I doubt I’d ever be in a situation wheresomeone makes fun of the Charlatans though, which means I must talk about themincessantly until the point someone makes fun of them, so I can defend them.

21. Ballad of BigNothing – Elliott Smith (Indie)97

Either Or remainsone of Smith’s finest pieces of work, mainly due to songs like this.

20. Autumn Sweater –Yo La Tengo (Indie)97

Here’s another wonderful band I missed out on in the late90s due to too much Phish. Though I’mnot sure what they’re best album is, ICan Hear The Heart … is probably my favorite.

19. My Little Cornerof the World – Yo La Tengo (Indie)97

18. Teeth Like God’sShoe Shine – Modest Mouse (Indie)97

17. Bitter SweetSymphony – The Verve (Britchester)97

16. The City is Mine– Jay-Z (Rap)97

15. SubterraneanHomesick Alien – Radiohead (Britchester)97

14. Ex-Con – Smog(Indie)97

Whenever I get dressedup, I feel like an ex-con trying to make good.

13. Baby Blue Sedan – Modest Mouse(Indie)97

It’s hard to be a humanbeing. It’s harder than anythingelse.

12. Cowboy Dan –Modest Mouse (Indie)97

11. Airbag –Radiohead (Britchester)97

Let me do a quick “Best Bands from the UK” to seewhere Radiohead probably ranks …

1 would be the Beatles. 2 would be the Stones. 3 would bePink Floyd. 4 would be the Kinks. 5 would probably be Radiohead. 6 would be the Clash and I’m going to stophere.

10. Pictures of Me –Elliott Smith (Indie)97

This is probably the closest Smith ever gets to writing apop song.

9. Polar Opposites –Modest Mouse (Indie)97

Primer gray is thecolor when you’re done dying.

8. Bankrupt onSelling – Modest Mouse (Indie)97

I’ll go to college andI’ll learn some big words and I’ll talk real loud god damn right I’ll be heard

7. ConcreteSchoolyard – Jurassic Five (Rap)97

I don’t like dwelling on this, but I sincerely feel hip hopwould be entirely different if they came out right when Tribe lost theirmojo. The gap in between killed good rap(see Coolio).

6. Walkin’ on the Sun– Smash Mouth (Pop Rock)97

Of course I hate being the guy that likes a Smash Mouthsong, but c’mon, this is a great tune for all, especially when that psychedelicorgan sound kicks in for the solo. Thepurpose of music is writing a unique song for all to enjoy right?

5. Karma Police –Radiohead (Britchester)97

I’m a big fan of a Mouse vs. Radiohead rivalry. I don’t really care about one bandsdomination over the other in critics eyes or popularity, I care about themproducing great rock songs with awesome lyrics, and with that, the Americanshave the edge. The Brits get the edgefor adapting to technology better, but is that really rock ‘n roll? (To be continued).

4. Moby Octopad – YoLa Tengo (Indie)97

To this day this remains my favorite Yo La Tengo song.

3. Trailer Trash –Modest Mouse (Indie)97

Seeing this is my “favorite song to jam too”, I suppose itshould be ranked high here too. Oh, italso has some of Isaac’s best lyrics.

2. Doing theCockroach – Modest Mouse (Indie)97

Another rider, he wasa talker, talking about TV, PLEASE SHUT UP!

1. Paranoid Android –Radiohead (Progressive Rock)97

Back to the Mouse vs. Radiohead debate, adapting totechnology better is awesome when it makes a band create songs like this, oneof the best songs ever. No one couldwrite a song like this aside from Radiohead. It’s just a shame that it’s their 2^nd to last rock song ever(2+2=5 is the last).

Tropic Thunder vs. Pineapple Express

2011-07-26T18:09:00.003-04:00

Ah, the year was two double aught eight; Michael Phelps'dominance was leading to Americans watching swimming in record numbers; thesearch for Bobby Fischer was called off when he died; Axel Rose finallyreleased Chinese Democracy;television's hilarious writers continued striking for more of that internetmoney; and that summer, there was a intense political debate over which moviewould be better, Seth Rogen's stoner epic PineappleExpress or Ben Stiller's controversial look at the Vietnam war in Tropic Thunder.

Fortunately, that debate was finished as soon as they cameout as Pineapple Express sucked, and Tropic Thunder turned out so good, iteven made Tom Cruise look good. That's apowerful film right there.

What's bizarre is both films sit in my DVD/BlueRay/PS3/Wiidisc rack, and I probably watch them both equally. PineappleExpress is appealing for when you're in the mood to take a nap or even goto bed. You know it's not going to bethat good, but at the same time, you know you're going to have fun when"Red" gets on the screen because he's really the only funny characterin the movie, well Ed Begley Jr. in his limited role is funny too. James Franco is a big reason why I stoppedsmoking pot for awhile many years ago. WhenI think of the things I hate in life, be they MTV; pro-life until birthers;Al-Qaeda; and Bostonsports fans; the Hollywood Stoner stereotype also makes that list (but mostafter all of the above). Though truethat I may have met stoners like James Franco's character, or that white dudefrom Half-Baked who's equally asannoying, those are the stoners I'd typically avoid trying to haveconversations with. Seeing I hate thestereotype, I can't get into the movie. Rogen isn't a stereotype of a stoner, he's just a stoner. There's a great difference between the twocharacters.

Another thing these two movies have in common is they bothare "Action-Comedies" a la Beverly Hills Cop. I don't like comedies mixing their genres. I'm basically like a southern dad from the1980s seeing his daughter come home with an ethnic. Comedies get ruined when elements of dramaare mixed in (see Evan and Seth arguing inSuperbad). They're not ruined withgun shootouts or other action film gimmicks but it's usually awkward andreduces a film's comfortableness when you're trying the mellow out withlaughter as you watch it. Tropic Thunder does a pretty good jobwith it (aside from casting that kid as the leader of the heroin dealers, itjust wasn't funny), but the end of PineappleExpress is nearly as bad as the beginning, well, aside from the big threeeating breakfast at the very very end, that was fun.

Ultimately, what stands out of Tropic Thunder most is Robert Downey Jr. pretending he's black, whichwill always be funny. Hell, he wasnominated for an Oscar for that performance and probably would've won if hewasn't competing against the posthumous Heath Ledger. Supporting actors have been great lately,check this out. I've never seen The Fighter but I imagine it was good aswas Christian Bale, who was the winner. Christoph Waltz won for IngloriousBasterds; Heath Ledger beat Robert Downey Jr. and Philip Seymour Hoffman(who seems to get nominated for either this or lead every year), and JavierBardem won the year before that for playing Anton Chigurh. That's a nice little streak. It even goes back further than that, but ifyou're interested in that, well, that's why we have the internet.

The Top 80 Songs of 1996

2011-07-20T20:16:00.003-04:00

I finally have to give in and separate British music from‘Merican. They really got their ownthing going for the most part, and it needs to be recognized. Those lovable Brits had some kind ofMadchester thing, and then there's Britpop. Some of it is really very nice and good, so I've combined them into alovable term called "Britchester", which sounds like a gun from theAmerican Revolution. Other than that,'96 was the first year for Modest Mouse and Neutral Milk Hotel, so you'll see alot of them on this list. Beck's Odelay is the best album from the year,so you'll see a lot of that raggedy guy too.

80. Crash Into Me –Dave Matthews (Smooth Rock)96

It’s like Kenny G started a rock’n roll band. These guys took a step back here and wouldnever take a step forward ever again. Ido dig the smoothness though and if I were wooing sorority girls in the late90s, this may be my go to song.

79. Again – Alice in Chains (Grunge)96

Still grungin along.

78. Talk – Phish(Folk Rock)96

Obviously I'm not there and have no clue, but if I were abetting man, I'd say 1996 is the year Trey got hooked on the junk.

77. I Wanna Be YourJoey Ramone – Sleater-Kinney (Punk)96

76. I Got You (At theEnd of the Century) – Wilco (Rock)96

75. E-Bow the Letter– REM (Alternative)96

74. Jack-Ass – Beck(Slow Rock)96

73. Is There AnybodyHere That Loves My Jesus – Medeski, Martin & Wood (Instrumental)96

72. Help Me Scrapethe Mucus off my Brain – Ween (Country)96

71. All Night Diner –Modest Mouse (Indie)96

Have I told you, youcan really get it on?

70. Taste – Phish(Jam Rock)96

69. Everything YouTouch Becomes a Crutch – Smog (Indie)96

68. I’m Holding You –Ween (Country)96

12 Country Greats isone of Ween's best album's somehow.

67. Far, Far Away –Wilco (Alt-Country)96

66. Sleepwalking –Modest Mouse (Indie)96

65. Novacaine For theSoul – The Eels (Indie)96

64. Idiot Driver –Spoon (Indie)96

Spoon is not the same band they were in 1996, and Telephone sounds closer to an outtakesalbum than a regular one, but it’s good. Here’s a song we can all relate to.

63. Night Marchers –Medeski, Martin & Wood (Instrumental)96

62. Mister RichardSmoker – Ween (Country)96

It’s a little silly, but much like Phish’s “Poor Heart”, thesoloing makes it fun.

61. Billy Breathes –Phish (Slow Rock)96

60. Ready or Not –The Fugees (Rap)96

This is apparently Barack Obama’s favorite song, which isfurther proof he’s a secret Muslim terrorist because by enjoying the Fugees,he’s not denouncing the Fugee song in which they say they want to kill killkill the white man.

59. What’s the WorldGot in Store – Wilco (Alt-Country)96

58. Trash – Suede(Indie)96

57. Lounge – ModestMouse (Indie)96

56. A Design For Life– Manic Street Preachers (Britchester)96

These guys are a band that doesn’t do anything spectacularbut writes good rock songs. They’realmost like the across the pond version of Weezer. I would’ve said an English version, butthey’re from Walesand something tells me Welsh people are probably pretty grumpy when they’rereferred to as English.

55. Daytona 500 –Ghostface Killah (Rap)95

I really want to rank Wu-Tang rappers, but I just don’t knowtheir solo projects, or hell, even most Wu-Tang albums that well.

54. Woman – NenahCherry (Trance)96

Does anyone know that she had a career after “BuffaloStance?” I never did.

53. Don’t Speak – NoDoubt (Pop Rock)96

The chorus is quite catchy, but I ask, who was the firstband to come up with that melody? Iswear I’ve heard it a million times before and after.

52. You Were the Fool– Ween (Alt-Country)96

I love Ween’s serious side nearly as much as their comedicside.

51. Dracula –Medeski, Martin & Wood (Trance)96

50. Kingpin – Wilco(Rock)96

49. The Man Don’tGive a Fuck – Super Furry Animals (Distorted)96

48. Where You’ll FindMe Now – Neutral Milk Hotel (Indie)96

47. Santeria –Sublime (Reggae)96

Now, I’d never make fun of Mac’n Cheese, but making fun ofSublime seems like doing the same thing. These guys (and I know they’re much better than their pop songs) soundlike they get reggae which is good, but it also sounds like they get the ChiliPeppers and maybe that’s why I never liked them.

46. Criminal – FionaApple (Alternative)96

45. Novacane – Beck(Rap Metal)96

44. Gardenhead/LeaveMe Alone – Neutral Milk Hotel (Indie)96

43. Train Song –Phish (Bluegrass)96

42. El Scorcho –Weezer (Distorted)96

I had never heard this song before and when I did, I heard agreat PE reference and they have a Green Day lyric very similar to one of myown songs (though they probably weren’t making fun as I was), so I guessthey’re a band after my own heart.

41. Monday – Wilco(Rock)96

40. Heaven Beside You– Alice in Chains (Grunge)96

39. Tundra/Desert –Modest Mouse (Indie)96

Every plannedoccupation, sure fire disappointment up ahead.

38. Pepper – ButtholeSurfers (Psychedelic Rock)96

37. Marching Theme –Neutral Milk Hotel (Instrumental)96

36. Hotwax – Beck(Distorted)96

35. The Fix Is In –Heatmiser (Indie)96

34. Fu-Gee-La – TheFugees (Rap)96

Is a member of the Fugees a “Fugee?”

33. Organ Donor – DJShadow (Instrumental)96

Shadow’s Endtroducing hasa lot of cred for being one of the biggest albums of the era but seeing I’mracist against DJ’s, I can’t give it it’s full props. Seeing this short little ditty is my favoritesong off the album, I obviously don’t understand it.

32. A Baby for Pree –Neutral Milk Hotel (Indie)96

31. Lord Only Knows –Beck (Distorted)96

30. I Got It – Pearl Jam (Grunge)96

This is Pearl Jam’s last gasp at recapturing their desperatesound which they do well, but let’s face it, they’re doing fine so pulling offdesperate isn't going to happen …

29. Broke – ModestMouse (Indie)96

… here's the best desperate sound of the era.

28. Someone Else’sSong – Wilco (Alt-Country)96

27. One to Another –The Charlatans (Britchester)96

26. Japanese Cowboy –Ween (Country)96

25. Blue Flowers –Dr. Octagon (Rap)96

Where did this guy come from? It’s funny. I didn’t know people were allowedto rap and not talk about how gangsta they were in 1996.

24. What I Got –Sublime (Rock)96

23. Exit Does NotExist – Modest Mouse (Indie)96

22. Red Eyed and Blue– Wilco (Alt-Country)96

I love when Tweedy used to have his “I don’t need drums”moments. I’m not sure if he has thoseanymore.

21. Two Step – DaveMatthews Band (Jam Rock)96

20. Going Out –Supergrass (Britchester)96

Here’s another band I obviously have to listen to more. These guys are fantastic.

19. Custom Concern –Modest Mouse (Indie)96

Losing all touch,losing all touch, building a desert

18. Forget theFlowers – Wilco (Alt-Country)96

It’s almost as if Wilco is forgetting the Stone’s “DeadFlowers” on this one.

17. The New Pollution– Beck (Distorted)96

16. California Love – Tupac Shakur (Rap)96

This will be the only time Tupac will make my list unlessyou count his time with the Digital Underground.

15. Tattva – KulaShaker (Britchester)96

14. Piss Up A Rope –Ween (Country)96

This is some good shit-kickin’ honk here, and anotherexample of Ween being able to do whatever the hell they want.

13. Talking ShitAbout a Pretty Sunset – Modest Mouse (Indie)96

By the time I get itfigured out, I’ve changed the whole damn plan.

12. Devil’s Haircut –Beck (Distorted)96

11. Dramamine –Modest Mouse (Indie)96

10. Song Against Sex– Neutral Milk Hotel (Indie)96

I heard On AveryIsland for my first time well after I had heard In An Aeroplane Over the Sea. WhenI hear this song, I always feel like it’s a great precursor to what will becoming with what is one of America’sgreat albums.

9. Bubblehouse –Medeski, Martin & Wood (Instrumental)96

Here’s another classic Toast cover.

8. Sunken Treasure –Wilco (Alt-Country)96

I was maimed by rock‘n roll. I was tamed by rock ‘nroll. I got my name from rock ‘nroll.

7. Positive/Negative– Modest Mouse (Indie)96

When I’m emotionally empty, there’s no song more perfect forme.

6. Standing Outside aBroken Phone Booth … - Primitive Radio Gods (Alternative)96

If there’s such a thing as alternative one hit wonders(meaning the song wouldn’t be a pop hit), here’s your pony to bet on to win therace.

5. Free – Phish (HardRock)96

Even though the album version of this song doesn’t compareto the live version they were playing at the time, this is probably the closestPhish has ever come to writing a great hard rock song, though “Wilson” may beup there (even though it’s way too silly) and “Stealing Time From the Faulty Plan”should be considered even though it was written well past the time Phish wasmaking good music.

4. You’vePassed/Someone Is Waiting – Neutral Milk Hotel (Indie)96

You need these two songs together. I can’t believe they even had the gall toseparate them on the album.

3. Where It’s At –Beck (Distorted)96

Whatever Beck started with his previous work, he quicklybecame the artist we all thought he could be with Odelay. In a time where veryfew acts were making all-star music, Beck was continuing a Hall of Famecareer.

2. Misunderstood –Wilco (Slow Rock)96

One tour a few years ago, they were pretty much rotatingthis song with “Kingpin” nearly every night so I knew when I saw them, I’d havea nearly a 50/50 chance. I got“Kingpin”, and well, it’s not even close to being as elatable.

1. Interstate 8 –Modest Mouse (Indie)96

It can be argued that this is Modest Mouse’s first song, andto this day their very best. When Imoved back to Tampa from Phoenix, my buddy Joe made me a mix tapecontaining three Modest Mouse songs (and yes, mix-tapes were still apossibility in the year 2000). The othertwo were “Polar Opposites” and “Positive Negative”. It’s no wonder this became my favorite bandas I heard these songs after a divorce, well, fortunately a divorce thatrequired no paperwork because there was never a marriage. Best way to ensure you never get divorced isto never get married.

The Top 80 Songs of 1995

2011-07-18T17:23:00.003-04:00

I feel like I just broke up 8 or 9 albums to give thislist. Though 1995 may be great for beingthe first year anything on the radio sucked completely that it led to many newIndie bands making great music, there’s nothing “fantastic” about it. There may be some great songs, but probablyno classics … basically just another reason why I justified to myself that myPhish-only listening theory was adequate.

80. Fuck You (An Odeto No One) – Smashing Pumpkins (Heavy Metal)95

Here’s a brief history on songs called “Fuck You.” Naturally, a thrash metal band named Overkillmay have done it first in the 80s, but this one was next. A rap act known as the Beastie Boys did “HeyFuck You” in 2004. That crazy littlegirl Lily Allen did one in 2009, and the best known one yet is of course, CeeLo’s version that he did in 2010.

79. The Hustle – ThePharcyde (Rap)95

78. Santa Monica – Everclear (Hard Rock)95

I used to love playing that guitar intro riff all the time,and give people that false excitement that I was going to rock outEveclear. Smiley face.

77. All I Really Want– Alanis Morisette (Pop Rock)95

76. Peaches – ThePresidents of the United States of America (Hard Rock)95

With these guys and Everclear representing American hardrock, I’m already missing Nirvana.

75. Waking Up –Elastica (Distorted)95

74. Grind – Alice in Chains(Grunge)95

Alicein Chains apparently never got the memo that grunge was over, and that’s a goodthing because it’s much better than the rest of the hard rock coming out thisyear.

73. Bullshit – ThePharcyde (Rap)95

In the same manner that Alice in Chains didn’t get the grunge memo,The Pharcyde wasn't told that the golden age of hip hop was over.

72. Car Seat – BlindMelon (Psychedelic Rock)95

71. Hand in My Pocket– Alanis Morissette (Pop Rock)95

This very well could be the most gimmicky song in thehistory of life aside from maybe Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start theFire." It seems like something shewrote this while studying for a 7^th grade aptitude test. Before youlaugh at me for ranking any Alanis tunes remember, this is the 18^thhighest selling album in the United States of All-Time.

70. Macarena – Los DelMar (World)95

I can’t tell if I genuinely like this song, or am justinfactuated with the larf of it. It’s somuch fun.

69. Dash 7 – Wilco(Alt-Country)95

68. Southern Belle –Elliott Smith (Folk)95

67. The Lover –Medeski, Martin & Wood (Instrumental)95

66. Blue – TheJayhawks (Alt-Country)95

65. Thru the Eyes ofRuby – Smashing Pumpkins (Distorted)95

My view on the Mellon Collie album is that it’s just toomuch. It’s very hard to pull off thedouble album without a bunch of throwaway songs as even The Wall has throwaway songs. Then, once you have throwaway songs, the album’s flow disrupts and thelistener is left picking at songs like it was itunes. Who has the time to sit down and appreciate adouble album, or more importantly wants to hear that much Smashing Pumpkins atonce? They’re not an AC/DC type bandwhere they get old after about 10 minutes, but there are very few bands thatdon’t get old after listening to them for an hour and the Pumpkins aren’t oneof them.

64. Toes Across theFloor – Blind Melon (Distorted)95

63. Bad Days –Flaming Lips (Psychedelic Rock)95

This is the Riddler’s theme song (sort of) in the timeless classicBatman Forever.

62. Alphabet Town– Elliott Smith (Folk)95

61. Beautiful –Smashing Pumpkins (Slow Rock)95

60. Fake PlasticTrees – Radiohead (Alternative)95

This is a good tune but it leads to the path of the type ofRadiohead songs that I don’t enjoy. They’re called the “Thom Yorke is a whiney little bitch” songs.

59. Black Steel –Tricky (Electronic)95

Tricky covering Public Enemy is interesting to say theleast.

58. BrooklynZoo – Ol’ Dirty Bastard (Rap)95

57. Pick Up theChange – Wilco (Alt-Country)95

56. Black Star –Radiohead (Alternative)95

55. Natural One – TheFolk Implosion (Indie)95

Remember that movie Kids? Yeah, I don’t either.

54. Mouthful ofCavities – Blind Melon (Distorted)95

53. Kill Hill Niggas– Cypress Hill (Rap)95

Getting Wu-Tang members to rap with you is the late 90sversion of getting Q-Tip to rap with you.

52. Street Spirit –Radiohead (Alternative)95

51. Down By the Water– PJ Harvey (Indie)95

50. That’s Not theIssue – Wilco (Alt-Country)95

We almost have a full blown ho-down going on hyah.

49. Carnival – TheCardigans (Alternative)95

48. Chubb Subb –Medeski, Martin & Wood (Instrumental)95

47. Funky Freakers –Cypress Hill (Rap)95

Temple of Boom was released when I had already givenup on rap. I can’t say how good or badit is, but naturally I can say I should probably give it a whirl while highsome time.

46. Bathysphere –Smog (Indie)95

Callahan has some good Leonard Cohen in him. Not enough artists have enough LC inthem.

45. Skinned – BlindMelon (Bluegrass)95

44. Sideshow by theSeashore – Luna (Indie)95

43. Clementine –Elliott Smith (Indie)95

42. The Bends –Radiohead (Distorted)95

41. Dump Truck –Blind Man (Distorted)95

40. Pharcyde – ThePharcyde (Rap)95

I hate having to include a song which has the same name asthe band, AND has a one line repetitive chorus that disrupts the songsbeautiful pace, but the chill pace of this is very nice.

39. Release Yo Delf –Method Man (Rap)95

I’m gaining a new appreciation for Method Man.

38. Needle in the Hay– Elliott Smith (Indie)95

37. Tom Courtenay –Yo La Tengo (Indie)95

36. Hyperballad –Bjork (Electronic)95

Though Bjork isn’t entirely my bag, I love the unique worldshe created for herself and lives in … or maybe that’s just how Icelandis.

35. Walk – BlindMelon (Folk)95

Here’s a band from the 90s that probably could’ve beenspecial and making great music today if they could’ve just kept their shittogether.

34. 1979 – SmashingPumpkins (Alternative)95

33. Bones – Radiohead(Distorted)95

32. Runnin’ – ThePharcyde (Rap)95

Maybe the Pharcyde started listening to too much Boys II Menand that’s why Labcabincalifornia waspretty lame.

31. I Must Be High –Wilco (Rock)95

30. Where the WildRoses Grow – Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds(Folk Rock)95

Nick Cave and Kylie Minogue …in 1995 it happened.

29. Sorted for theE’s and Wizz – Pulp (Alternative)95

28. 2x4 – Blind Melon(Distorted)95

This song becomes great when that screeching electric guitarchange occurs.

27. Bullet WithButterfly Wings – Smashing Pumpkins (Distorted)95

26. Christmas at theZoo – Flaming Lips (Distorted)95

25. Common People –Blur (Alternative)95

Holy crap this sounds like Arcade Fire.

24. Box Full ofLetters – Wilco (Rock)95

This song made an appearance on MTV’s “Beavis and Butthead”,and this is probably around the time I completely stopped watching anything onMTV.

23. PsychiatricExplorations Of The Fetus With Needles – The Flaming Lips (Psychedelic Rock)95

Flaming Lips song titles are generally not to userfriendly.

22. Galaxie – BlindMelon (Distorted)95

21. High and Dry –Radiohead (Alternative)95

20. Chinatown– Luna (Indie)95

I’m not sure why I’m calling these guys an Indie band withtheir label being Elektra.

19. Lightning Strikesthe Post Man – Flaming Lips (Distorted)95

18. You’re All I Needto Get By – Method Man and Mary J. Blige (Rap)95

This is a pretty dope tune that I’ve never heard before …and of course it’s a Marvin Gaye remake.

17. My Iron Lung –Radiohead (Distorted)95

16. #1 Crush –Garbage (Electronic)95

15. The AbandonedHospital Ship (Psychedelic Rock)95

14. Throw Your Set inthe Air- Cypress Hill (Rap)95

This song and Smashing Pumpkin’s “Zero” get specialtreatment for appearing in episode #3F21 of the Simpsons entitled,“Homerpalooza.

13. Drop – ThePharcyde (Rap)95

12. Lemonade – BlindMelon (Distorted)95

As great as the two Blind Melon albums are (I believe thenext one was just outtakes or something so that doesn’t count), I feel we weredeprived of their classic album. It wasbound to happen.

11. House Mop –Medeski, Martin & Wood (Instrumental)

10. Army of Me –Bjork (Industrial)95

How come when people danced to industrial music in the 90s,they did that move where they punched towards the ground? Sometimes I miss the angst of the 90s.

9. Passenger Side –Wilco (Alt-country)95

8. Just – Radiohead(Distorted)95

Here’s one of the few instances where Radiohead writes agreat hard rock song. I wish they didthis more often.

7. Alright –Supergrass (Alternative)95

6. Shimmy Shimmy Ya –Ol’ Dirty Bastard (Rap)95

I have to admit this song wouldn’t rank this high if itweren’t for the beginning of KnockedUp.

5. Zero – SmashingPumpkins (Distorted)95

“I’m Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins. I’m Homer Simpson, smiling politely.” I always thought "Smiling Politely"would be a great band name.

4. Da Funk – DaftPunk (House)95

I still haven’t seen Tronyet, which reminds me of the first time the movie came out. At the back of my mind, I was always mildlycurious to see what made it tick, but never caved. Now a second one comes out, some years later,and looks interesting, yet, it still hasn’t even made my Netflix cue.

3. 23 Minutes in Brussels – Luna (Indie)95

Granted I didn’t hear it until about the year 2000, but thisis one of the first songs that exposed me to the Indie scene of the 90s.

2. Last Chance toDance Trance (Perhaps) – Medeski, Martin & Wood (Instrumental)95

Though I doubt many people who read my blog will give alisten to an 8 minute song with no words, this is probably MMW at theirbest. Whatever it is they do well, theydo here.

1. Planet Telex –Radiohead (Alternative)95

I love Radiohead but by no means am I a hardcore Radioheadguy. For instance, I have no clue whotheir influences are. It’s easy to saysomething like Pink Floyd whether it’s factual or not. At this point in their careers, I hear someSmiths in them, but obviously they expanded their sound a lot after thisalbum.

Madvillains ... the Final Ten

2011-07-15T12:54:00.002-04:00

10. Kevin Spacey as"Keyser Soze" in The UsualSuspects

I didn't include Kevin's role in Se7en even though that serial killer role instills more fear in methan this one. It's not all aboutinstilling fear though, this isn't a FOX News special. Everyone loves Keyser Soze, well, accept thecharacters he encounters in the film.

9. Daniel Day-Lewisas "Daniel Plainview" in ThereWill Be Blood

Some will probably look at me funny when I say that he's nota villain, and that Eli is the true villain in this film. They're both basically backsliders andmanipulating people so it's a tough call. Backsliders is a great word by the way.

8. Al Pacino as"Tony Montana" in Scarface

His performance in this may be overdone a little (this is AlPacino after all), but he's so much fun. It's strange how Pacino went from being a great actor in the 70s, tosomeone who completely overacted in the 80s and 90s, to someone who doesn'teven try to act at all nowadays. Saywhat you want about Al, but at least he's covering all sides of the actingspectrum and not just interesting characters.

7. Jack Nicholson as"Jack Torrance" in The Shining

Recently around Father's Day I saw that Time magazine did a"Top 10 Worst Dads of All-Time" and "Here's Johnny" got awell deserved #1 on the list. As bad ashe was, you have to feel like if you were in that situation with a snoopingkid, an Olive Oil wife, and no booze for several months you'd go crazy too. Who wouldn't? Best part about the Worst Dad list was that Homer Simpson wasn't evenincluded. My, how society hascrumbled.

6. Robert DeNiro as"Max Cady" in Cape Fear

I'm not sure if he won an Oscar for this role and don't feellike looking because either way, this is DeNiro's last great performance. I've always thought it was a lesser DeNiromovie but it has aged quite well, especially due to his performance.

5. Javier Bardem as"Anton Chighur" in No CountryFor Old Men

Every time he opens his mouth, something sanely crazy comesout. My favorite part of his characterwas that he didn't kill the old lady at the trailer park as it was his way ofsaying to her that her life will be more miserable if he lets her live.

4. Anthony Hopkins as"HannibalLecter" in Silence of the Lambs

He's basically the critic’s darling of villainy. Silenceof the Lambs is a perfect film, and even though I enjoy the other parts ofhis story, they've taken away too much of his mystique to be #1.

3. Heath Ledger as"The Joker" in The Dark Knight

Every time he's onscreen this film reaches a level that veryfew ever attain. He can say the biggestcliché like "you complete me" and it still sounds original. Every time he opens his mouth is captivating. My only disappointment with him in this movieis he never kissed Maggie Gyllenhaal so Heath could've had the distinction ofkissing both her and her brother Jake. That'd have been great.

2. James Earl Jonesas "Darth Vader" in the StarWars trilogy

Perhaps the best rendition of thee ol' Man vs. Machinebattle is Darth Vader vs. Luke Skywalker. Darth Vader's mere appearance led me to immediate tears upon his arrivalon the Rebel ship the first time I saw StarWars. Of course, I was 5. I beggedand pleaded my mom to take me, promising her I wouldn’t cry, but this wasfucking Darth Vader!

1. Daniel Day-Lewisas "Bill the Butcher" in Gangsof New York

Ultimately, he has the most personality, says the greatestthings, and instills a great amount of fear. If only it wouldn't cost so much to create that outfit for Halloween, I'dbe him every year.

More Film Villans, Part 4 on the Floor (Adrock is at the door)

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20. Christoph Waltzas "The Jew Hunter" in IngloriousBasterds

Nazi's are perhaps the greatest villains of them all due tothem being real 'n all. Waltz is sowonderfully evil in this movie that Hitler himself looks like a joker. When I first saw this film, I was a littledisappointed at the ending, how he sold himself out, but realized this was thesmart thing for him to do, and of course in a villainesque way.

19. Some Computer as"HAL" in 2001: A Space Odyssey

HAL's sarcasm while playing chess is what makes it forme. Sure, there's all that computersturning on humans stuff which is great, but it seems every time he talks,sarcasm reaches unprecedented levels. Ooh, that computer guy, he'scool.

18. Marlon Brando as"StanleyKowalski" in A Streetcar NamedDesire

Seeing I don't consider Brando's "Godfather" avillain, this is perhaps the best villain role he's played, the wife beatingdrunk. Still, you have to feel for a guythat's created his perfect niche in life, but then if forced to live with hiswife's annoying sister. No one wantsthat.

17. Arnold Schwarzenegger as "TheTerminator" in The Terminator

What's strange is growing up, Arnold always seemed like he was avillain. Looking back at his movies, itwas quite rare that he played the bad guy and even this role turned into"the hero" with further incarnations of the story.

16. Some guy as"Boba Fett" in Empire and Jedi.

Growing up watching StarWars, Boba was the coolest character of them all. I was a little too young to appreciate thefirst film when it came out, but was old enough for Empire. I for one definitelygot caught up in Boba Fett mania and wept when he tragically got eaten by theSarlac. (Note: I didn't research the name of the thing thatate him. I almost hope I'm wrong, butsomething tells me I'm not and I've reached a new tier of Star Wars geekery.

15. Michael Madsen as"Mr. Blonde" in Reservoir Dogs

Are you gonna bark allday little doggie, or are you gonna bite? Madsen was the Elvis cool psycho. He was also responsible for my first ear dismemberment. I've seen plenty since, some that have comehistorically before and some after, but none as memorable.

14. Anthony Perkinsas "Norman Bates" in Psycho

I'm sure he's much higher on most lists, as he's films first… well, psycho. He's great, but asidefrom finding him very creepy, I didn't fear him at any point in my life,despite "the shower scene" making showers a dangerous proposition fordays after watching the film when I was young, but at 17 I learned thetruth.

13. Malcolm McDowellas "Alex" in A Clockwork Orange

The droog accent probably makes him look less psychotic thanhe is. Sometimes you can tell a greatvillain if he's been dressed up as for Halloween. I know at least two people that have dressedas him, Bart Simpson and moi, so he gets points for that. Also, the droog garb has been re-createdcountless times to dress up gangs. There's even a droog based gang in TheWarriors, but that weasel villain from the movie doesn’t deserve to comeclose to this list.

12. William Zabka as"Johnny Lawrence" in The KarateKid

One form of villain I haven't touched on yet is the highschool bully. There are plenty in 80'scomedies, but Johnny and his Cobra Kais are little more mean spirited than say,Roy Stalin and his Better Off Dead skiteam. Seeing Daniel crane kick him as akid was nearly as invigorating as it is watching Johnny beat the shit out ofhim now that I'm an adult. Zabka reallyis a "best of both worlds" villain.

11. Joaquin Phoenixas "Commodus" in Gladiator

I hated him so much. He basically had every horrible characteristic a villain could have andit led to me hating him as an actor. Fortunately, I've learned that just because someone plays a horribleperson well, doesn't make them a horrible actor. Watching this movie recently I saw how greatof a villain he was. Nobody couldpossibly cheer for this guy in any walk of life.

The Best Villains ... Trois Pistoles

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30. Viet Cong Guardin The Deer Hunter

The Russian Roulette scene when DeNiro and Walken overcomeall the Viet Cong in that swamp is one of the best scenes I’ve ever seen in amovie. It’s a couch jumper.

29. Matt Damon as"Sgt. Sullivan" in The Departed

Was I crazy to be rooting for him in the movie? Seeing it's Scorsese, I knew he'd die aftereveryone else did, but I was a little disappointed when it happened (and evenmore disappointed with that whole rat scene following the death).

28. Alan Rickman as"Hans Gruber" in Die Hard

Another great villain type character, especially during theCold War, was the Eastern European terrorist. Rickman did a perfect job. Thereare moments in film when you know the bad guy is merely going to threaten thehostage, but not Hans. He was akiller.

27. John Malkovich as"Teddy KGB" in Rounders

Though we never get to see the full arm of his power, hisaccent was enough. He's very high onthat "fun to imitate" list, but I've never been very good at doing it.

26. Jack Nicholson as"Col.Jessup" in A Few Good Men

This says it all:

"Son, we live in a world that has walls, and thosewalls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt.Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. Youweep for Santiago,and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of notknowing what I know. That Santiago'sdeath, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesqueand incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deepdown in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, youneed me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use thesewords as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as apunchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to aman who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide,and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you justsaid thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up aweapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think youare entitled to."

25. The Shark WhoPlayed "Jaws" in Jaws

People didn't swim in New England oceans (or maybe just theAtlantic) for about 10 years after this movie. It's too bad sharks don't make noise before they eat their victims. Lions have a good roar. T-Rex's have their distinct kill sound andSamuel L. Jackson has his bible passage, but what do sharks get?

24. Mark Rolston as"Boggs" in The ShawshankRedemption

The only character that’s worse in Shawshank Prison than theWarden was Boggs. I'd rather not talkabout him too much.

23. Alan Ford as"Brick Top" in Snatch

Many characters on my list are part of a crime syndicate inone way or another. Here's somerepresentation from across the pond. I'mno theologian. I don't know what happensto the soul when you die, but I do know that my body being fed to pigs couldn'thelp the soul's possible afterlife in any way.

22. "Sauron" in Lord of theRings

Gotta say this in a nerdlinger Napoleon Dynamite like voice…

He's only the leaderof all of life's cruelty and malice and will destroy Middle Earth if he getsthe one ring to rule them all … GAWSH!

21. David Carradineas "Bill" in Kill Bill Vol. 2

He's more of a "cool" villain than a scaryone. My only thing with him is that his"tragic" death will affect how his character ages. It will be hard not to look at him and thinkabout him being erotically tortured and a possible accidental suicide thatensued.

Top Film Villains Part Deux

2011-07-12T18:24:00.000-04:00

40. Louise Fletcheras "Nurse Ratched" in One FlewOver the Cuckoo's Nest

She makes many critics "Best Villains" list butshe's a little overrated. She's not THATevil, she's just trying to run the asylum the way she thinks best.

39. Gary Oldman as"Drexl" in True Romance

If you were making a movie with a heinous villain in the 1990s, you had to consider Gary Oldman to play the role. At one point, it seemed as if he was thevillain in every single movie that came out. Even though this role is quite limited say, compared to his role in The Professional, it's my fave. Why not, how about Top 5 Gary Oldman VillainRoles:

5. Air ForceOne – Ivan Korshunov

4. BramStoker’s Dracula – Dracula

3. JFK– Lee Harvey Oswald

2. TheProfessional – Stansfield

1. TrueRomance – Drexl

When you get Lee Harvey Oswald and Dracula, you know your #1on director’s “I need a villain” list.

38. Cillian Murphy as"Scarecrow" in Batman Begins

Something Christopher Nolan did quite well in his renderingof the Batman story is make the villains very dark creatures. Whereas they were somewhat comical in thelate 80s and 1990s films (and even more comical in the TV show), they are nowpsychotic people that need to be feared. They don't grab a boom box and dance before they poison you, the justpoison you.

37. Jack Nicholson as"Frank Costello" in TheDeparted

Some say he mailed this performance in but I disagree. What made him so great for this role was thathe was playing a gangster that was coming undone. Though I do agree Nicholson, like DeNiro andPacino, doesn't act nearly as good as he did in his prime, he did a great jobhere, minus the "This ain't reality TV!" line. That one was pretty weak.

36. Samuel L. Jacksonas "Ordell Roby" in JackieBrown

Whatever fun loving gangstability SLJ earned in Pulp Fiction rapidly deterioratedhere. Not only does he kill Smokey,(I'll admit though, hearing Chris Tucker yap until a bullet was put in him was alifelong dream of this film fan), but he kills a fun stoner in Robert DeNiro,and really shouldn't have. I don't likeit when people kill Robert DeNiro in movies. Never have, never will … in fact …

The Top 5 People I'm Most Upset With For Killing RobertDeNiro Characters:

5. Gaylord Focker in Meet The Parents4: Greg's Revenge (Okay, this didn't happen)

4. Nick Nolte or "The Water" in Cape Fear (Cady had it coming though)

3. Those Russian Dudes in 15 Minutes (Ireally hated that one even though the movie sucked)

2. Ordell Roby in Jackie Brown

1. Al Pacino shooting him in Heat (Justanother example of the wrong ending).

35. Lee J. Cobb as"Johnny Friendly" in On theWaterfront

The best villain from the best pre-Godfather gangster movie is Lee J. Cobb. Cobb was a villain trailblazer as hisperformance as the angriest juror in 12Angry Men was almost as good. Itmust be fun to go from film to film trying out for the role of"angry" guy.

34. Faye Dunaway as"Bonnie" in Bonnie and Clyde

She's sort of the first "hot girl" villain. There have definitely been other misguidedladies (or ladies of the night) in film by this point, but no ladies misdeedsreach the levels of Ms. Parker. Clyde was bad too, well worse even, but Bonnie is thereason to watch the film and cheer for the villain.

33. The Predator in …The Predator

Creatures, be they dinosaurs, aliens, or rabbits with reallysharp teeth are all eligible for villainy. The alien from this film was in like 23 more movies. Granted, I didn't see any of them, but mymemories from its first film are fond.

32. Ted Knight as"Judge Smails" in Caddyshack

A great villain is always the old uptight rich white guy atthe country club. Knight nailed thisstereotype for this movie. The rolegives birth to the "token dissenting republican" character that youfind in a lot of disaster films.

31. Bob Gunton as"Warden Norton" in TheShawshank Redemption

This movie had a quite a few unsavory characters. Imagine having the power to "throwsomeone in the hole" if they did something you didn't agree with. I'd probably abuse it too. I had a conversation with a co-worker today about being wicked and having the ability to turn people into frogs. What percentage would you turn into frogs? I said 90.

The Top 50 Film Villains

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50. John Tuturro as"Pino" in Do the Right Thing

In a movie chock full of great characters that had badintentions as there was little "good" in this movie and definitely nohero, Pino's hatred towards black people transcended BugginOut's paranoia, RadioRaheem's boom box, the cops excessive force and Sal's baseball bat. You hope in this world that people don't hateothers just because the color of their skin (violin music probably needs toplay here), but that's exactly who Pino was, someone who would carry out a hatecrime, or stomp an ethnic’s teeth into a curb. We never really got to seehis hatred manifested, thankfully due to his brother and father.

49. Maurice Evans as"Dr. Zauis" in Planet of theApes

Here's someone else who hated just because man was differentthan ape, well, that and the fact that the history of man taught him that manwould most certainly destroy the planet as it had in the past. Dr. Zauis seems like today's fundamentalistin that he will do whatever he can to repress truth in order to preserveGod. He was basically nothing but adamned dirty ape.

48. Paul Muni as"Tony Camonte" in Scarface

This character was one of the first to glorify thevillain. By today's standards, he'sreally not too unique anymore or even fun to root for, but I have to give himpoints for trailblazing.

47. Jeffrey Jones as"Ed Rooney" in Ferris Bueller'sDay Off

This list can't be just criminals, or people consumed withhatred. Ferris Bueller's nemesis ismerely a poor principal that has to deal with a smart alecky punk rich kid witha tendency to ditch school a lot. Cometo think of it, next time I watch this movie, I may have to go for Ed, well,except for the whole child pornography thing … still have to side with Ferrisin this rivalry.

46. J.E. Freeman as"Eddie Dane" in Miller'sCrossing

Some bad guys are really good bad guys, like this one. There's not one likable thing about thischaracter. In a movie where everycharacter is tied to the mob, and one guy stands out as the evilest villain ofthem all, you have to respect that.

45. "Rednecks" in Deliverance

Banjo music has never been the same since this movie. Who wouldn't be terrified if they were in asmall town and encountered some slack-jawed yokel playing the banjo? I wonder if this movie hurt Georgia'stourism. I certainly will do my best notto travel through there, of course, it’s pretty hard not too if you’re drivingout of Florida.

44. "TheDevil" or "Regan" in TheExorcist

Some of her performance is a little over the top which isneeded for laughs to break up the horrifying display of vulgarity and whateverelse spews from her mouth. Above it all,the creepiest part of the movie is when she walks down the stairs on her handsbackwards, like a crab or something. That creeps me out too much. Ifthat ever happened at a dinner party I was hosting, I'd send the kid to asylumthat very minute.

43. "Men"in Thelma and Louise

Almost every single man in this movie is an asshole. Even a good one like Harvey Keitel, who mayunderstand the ladies plight, is still dying to arrest them.

Here's the Top 5 Worst Men In the Movie:

5. Random Shirtless Guy Staring at Louise - There's nothing like exposingyour chest hair and gawking at a woman at the same time.

4. Dirt Truck Driver - That poor truck driver. Find me one male truck driver that doesn'togle women profanely? It's in their jobdescription.

3. Darryl – Thelma's Husband - Shooter McGavinplays a great dickhead.

2. Brad Pitt the Thief - Of course the good looking young guy is going torob you old cougar! What did you thinkwas going to happen, true love?

1. Harlan the Rapist - The name says it all. I'll never respect anyone I meet named Harlanagain.

42. Ian McDiarmid as"The Emperor" in Return of theJedi

This old man wasn't the most charming fellow, that's forsure. Once the order to kill off theJedi was completed, and he no longer had to hide behind the mask of being aSenator or Chancellor, it must have been quite a relief for him, yet he wasstill an uptight prick. You control theEmpire! Chill out a little guy!

41. Woody Harrelsonand Juliette Lewis as "Mickey and Mallory" in Natural Born Killers

This movie hasn't aged too well, but just as the original Scarface may have been one of the firstto glamorize the villain, this one was the first to have the serial killers asthe heroes of the film. Stone may havebeen a little too over the top with his quote unquote commentaries on societyon this one. I should probably includeRodney Dangerfield's role in this as a great villain too. Let's call him 41-C.

40. Louise Fletcheras "Nurse Ratched" in One FlewOver the Cuckoo's Nest

She makes many critics "Best Villains" list butshe's a little overrated. She's not THATevil, she's just trying to run the asylum the way she thinks best.

39. Gary Oldman as"Drexl" in True Romance

If you were making a movie with a heinous villain in theearly 1990s, you had to consider Gary Oldman to play the role. At one point, it seemed as if he was thevillain in every single movie that came out. Even though this role is quite limited say, compared to his role in The Professional, it's my fave. Why not, how about Top 5 Gary Oldman VillainRoles:

5. AirForce One – Ivan Korshunov

4. BramStoker’s Dracula – Dracula

3. JFK– Lee Harvey Oswald

2. TheProfessional – Stansfield

1. TrueRomance – Drexl

When you get Lee Harvey Oswald and Dracula, you know your #1on director’s “I need a villain” list.

38. Cillian Murphy as"Scarecrow" in Batman Begins

37. Jack Nicholson as"Frank Costello" in TheDeparted

36. Samuel L. Jacksonas "Ordell Roby" in JackieBrown

Whatever fun loving gangatsbility SLJ earned in Pulp Fiction rapidly deterioratedhere. Not only does he kill Smokey,(I'll admit, hearing Chris Tucker yap until a bullet was put in him was alifelong dream of this film fan), but he kills a fun stoner in Robert DeNiro,and really shouldn't have. I don't likeit when people kill Robert DeNiro in movies. Never have, never will … in fact …

The Top 5 People I'm Most Upset With For Killing RobertDeNiro Characters:

5. Gaylord Focker in Meet The Parents4: Greg's Revenge (Okay, this didn't happen)

4. Nick Nolte or "The Water" in Cape Fear (Cady had it coming though)

3. Those Russian Dudes in 15 Minutes (Ireally hated that one even though the movie sucked)

2. Ordell Roby in Jackie Brown

1. Al Pacino shooting him in Heat (Justanother example of the wrong ending).

35. Lee J. Cobb as"Johnny Friendly" in On theWaterfront

34. Faye Dunaway as"Bonnie" in Bonnie and Clyde

33. The Predator in …The Predator

32. Ted Knight as"Judge Smails" in Caddyshack

A great villain is always the old uptight rich white guy atthe country club. Knight nailed this stereotypefor this movie. The role gives birth tothe "token dissenting republican" character that you find in a lot ofdisaster films.

31. Bob Gunton as"Warden Norton" in TheShawshank Redemption

This movie had a quite a few unsavory characters. Imagine having the power to "throwsomeone in the hole" if they did something you didn't agree with. I'd probably abuse it too. I had a conversation with a co-worker todayabout being wicked and having the ability to turn people into frogs. Whatpercentage would you turn into frogs? I said 90.

30. Viet Cong Guardin The Deer Hunter

The Russian Roulette scene when DeNiro and Walken overcomeall the Viet Cong in that swamp is one of the best scenes I’ve ever seen in amovie. It’s a couch jumper.

29. Matt Damon as"Sgt. Sullivan" in The Departed

28. Alan Rickman as"Hans Gruber" in Die Hard

27. John Malkovich as"Teddy KGB" in Rounders

Though we never get to see the full arm of his power, hisaccent was enough. He's very high onthat "fun to imitate" list, but I've never been very good at doingit.

26. Jack Nicholson as"Col.Jessup" in A Few Good Men

This says it all:

25. The Shark WhoPlayed "Jaws" in Jaws

24. Mark Rolston as"Boggs" in The ShawshankRedemption

The only character that’s worse in Shawshank Prison than theWarden was Boggs. I'd rather not talkabout him too much.

23. Alan Ford as"Brick Top" in Snatch

22. "Sauron" in Lord of theRings

Gotta say this in a nerdlinger Napoleon Dynamite like voice…

He's only the leaderof all of life's cruelty and malice and will destroy Middle Earth if he getsthe one ring to rule them all … GAWSH!

21. David Carradineas "Bill" in Kill Bill Vol. 2

20. Christoph Waltzas "The Jew Hunter" in IngloriousBasterds

19. Some Computer as"HAL" in 2001: A Space Odyssey

18. Marlon Brando as"StanleyKowalski" in A Streetcar NamedDesire

17. Arnold Schwarzenegger as "TheTerminator" in The Terminator

16. Some guy as"Boba Fett" in Empire and Jedi.

15. Michael Madsen as"Mr. Blonde" in Reservoir Dogs

14. Anthony Perkinsas "Norman Bates" in Psycho

13. Malcolm McDowellas "Alex" in A Clockwork Orange

12. William Zabka as"Johnny Lawrence" in The KarateKid

11. Joaquin Phoenixas "Commodus" in Gladiator

10. Kevin Spacey as"Keyser Soze" in The UsualSuspects

9. Daniel Day-Lewisas "Daniel Plainview" in ThereWill Be Blood

8. Al Pacino as"Tony Montana" in Scarface

His performance in this may be overdone a little (this is AlPacino after all), but he's so much fun. It's strange how Pacino went from being a great actor in the 70s, tosomeone who completely overacted in the 80s and 90s, to someone who doesn't eventry to act at all nowadays. Say what youwant about Al, but at least he's covering all sides of the acting spectrum andnot just interesting characters.

7. Jack Nicholson as"Jack Torrance" in The Shining

Recently around Father's Day I saw that Time magazine did a"Top 10 Worst Dads of All-Time" and "Here's Johnny" got awell deserved #1 on the list. As bad ashe was, you have to feel like if you were in that situation with a snoopingkid, an Olive Oil wife, and no booze for several months you'd go crazytoo. Who wouldn't? Best part about the Worst Dad list was thatHomer Simpson wasn't even included. My,how society has crumbled.

6. Robert DeNiro as"Max Cady" in Cape Fear

5. Javier Bardem as"Anton Chighur" in No CountryFor Old Men

4. Anthony Hopkins as"HannibalLecter" in Silence of the Lambs

He's basically the critic’s darling of villainy. Silenceof the Lambs is a perfect film, and even though I enjoy the other parts ofhis story, they've taken away too much of his mystique to be #1.

3. Heath Ledger as"The Joker" in The Dark Knight

Every time he's onscreen this film reaches a level that veryfew ever attain. He can say the biggestcliché like "you complete me" and it still sounds original. Every time he opens his mouth iscaptivating. My only disappointment withhim in this movie is he never kissed Maggie Gyllenhaal so Heath could've hadthe distinction of kissing both her and her brother Jake. That'd have been great.

2. James Earl Jonesas "Darth Vader" in the StarWars trilogy

1. Daniel Day-Lewisas "Bill the Butcher" in Gangsof New York

Ultimately, he has the most personality, says the greatestthings, and instills a great amount of fear. If only it wouldn't cost so much to create that outfit for Halloween,I'd be him every year.

Heroes and Villains … umm, Villains

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As I mentioned previously, Christopher Nolan has a greatsense of creating villainy. In The Dark Knight he continued the quest, and wisely kept the key villain alive, but sometimes you leave someone alive in a movie for possiblesequels, they’re destined to battle over and over again, and then they die inreal life. It sucks really, even for thefan. There really aren't too many gooddeaths (Osama Bin Laden and Jerry Falwell were animals full of hatred so those twoare pretty good), but there are many bad ones, as Heath's was. For a ghoul such as myself, it's quite rarethat I miss an actor, or anyone I have no ties to whatsoever, but "whatcoulda been" with any more possible roles he would've played. Granted, him reappearing in another Nolandirected Batman movie would probably have undone his fantastic villain here,but it would’ve been nice to have the opportunity.

In honor of the man, I'm going to drop one of my"major" lists. My major listscoming up include:

The Best Movies of All-Time

The Best Actors of All-Time

The Best Directors of All-Time

The Best Lead Actor Roles of All-Time

The Best Actress Roles of All-Time

The Best Endings of All-Time

The Best Supporting Roles of All-Time

The Best Villains of All-Time

Ledger's Joker does quite well in the last two, but I thinkhis performance as a villain is a wee bit better than as a supporting actor, soon Monday I’ll begin a list that was fun to create while watching about acouple hundred movies over the past few years. Villains are so much better than heroes. As a kid, you want Luke Skywalker to kill that scary Darth Vader butwhen you grow up, it seems like Luke is such a pipsqueak and Vader should havesliced him up good. I can’t remember thelast time I went for the good guy, well, it was probably the last time Icheered for whoever was playing the Red Sox.

Come Monday, the Top 50 Best Villains in CinemaHistory, have a great rest of the of the weekend.